At 3/15/15 02:46 AM, 24901miles wrote:

At 3/15/15 02:44 AM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/15/15 02:41 AM, 24901miles wrote:
I wish TheGamechanger were attacked by a rabid orca whale.

Granted. I avoid its attacks and then I tame it, and then I send it over to attack you.

I wish that all beer was sentient.

All beer is now sentient. It befriends your tamed orca and sends it back to destroy you.

I wish all beer were two beer.

Granted; All beer in the world is taken to a single location and turns into two cans of beer.

I wish to know if it's legal to kill zombies

At 3/15/15 11:03 AM, AoiShinigami wrote: I wish to know if it's legal to kill zombies

Granted, it's illegal.

I wish my bike was perfect.

At 3/15/15 11:11 AM, Ericho wrote: I wish my bike was perfect.

Granted, but it's stolen within seconds.

I wish Pinkie Pie would stop breaking into my room all the time

At 3/15/15 11:17 AM, AoiShinigami wrote:

At 3/15/15 11:11 AM, Ericho wrote: I wish my bike was perfect.

Granted, but it's stolen within seconds.

I wish Pinkie Pie would stop breaking into my room all the time

Granted, now Pinkie Pie doesn't exist.

I wish for this guy above me to be healed of zoophilia.

At 3/15/15 02:54 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 3/15/15 02:01 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for this guy above me to be healed of zoophilia.

Granted, but he now becomes a necrophile.

I wish for NewgroundsMike to be cured of pedophilia.

Granted, but you can't take the bloodlust from me.

I wish to taste human meat.

At 3/15/15 03:08 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish to taste human meat.

Granted. Here's a disembodied penis.

I wish all food literally tasted like shit.

At 3/15/15 03:12 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: I wish all food literally tasted like shit.

Granted. You still have to eat it, while I go kill myself.

I wish for the end.

At 3/15/15 03:18 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for the end.

Granted. It's your end. Enjoy being six feet under.

I wish all humans were sex slaves to robots.

At 3/15/15 04:55 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/15/15 03:18 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for the end.

Granted. It's your end. Enjoy being six feet under.

I wish all humans were sex slaves to robots.

Granted. But the robots are too primitive to calculate and compute sex, so humans don't have to do anything.

I wish Caillou (the Charlie Brown ripoff) was indetified as the third Columbine shooter just 4 lulz

At 3/15/15 05:20 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:
I wish Caillou (the Charlie Brown ripoff) was indetified as the third Columbine shooter just 4 lulz

Granted. Thousands of kids are scarred for life.

I wish Michael Jackson was still alive.

At 3/15/15 06:28 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish Michael Jackson was still alive.

Granted. He's cyrogenically frozen next to Walt Disney. It turns out they had the same condition and are thawed out at the same time. Their collaborative effort on the film captain eo 2 wins every Oscar, driving Leo DiCaprio to suicide.

I wish incense came in scents humans cannot perceive.

At 3/15/15 06:42 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish incense came in scents humans cannot perceive.

Granted. Those particular incense are for dogs only since dogs have a better sense of smell than humans.

I wish all movies were 10 hours long.

At 3/16/15 07:44 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish it was Summer already.

Granted; The Earth's rotation was sped up to such degree that the seasons are only about a week long. The summer comes fast, but it only lasts for several days.

I wish for a fedora that can transform into the Thompson gun

At 3/16/15 10:12 AM, AoiShinigami wrote:

At 3/16/15 07:44 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish it was Summer already.

Granted; The Earth's rotation was sped up to such degree that the seasons are only about a week long. The summer comes fast, but it only lasts for several days.

I wish for a fedora that can transform into the Thompson gun

Granted, but it has a will of its own and you can't control its transformation.

I wish for a grill.

At 3/16/15 10:26 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for a grill.

Wish granted, but the Grill has actually been cursed and will grow legs and try to run away when you want to use it.

I wish for my College work to be finished.

At 3/16/15 11:17 AM, Madjasper1 wrote:

At 3/16/15 10:26 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for a grill.

Wish granted, but the Grill has actually been cursed and will grow legs and try to run away when you want to use it.

I wish for my College work to be finished.

Granted, someone else finished it for you and now you're in deep shit because they found out you cheated.

I wish @i-am-ghey was streyght.

At 3/16/15 11:23 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish @i-am-ghey was streyght.

Granted. The beautiful and supportive relationship that would have raised an adopted son to become the president that leads up to world peace is destroyed because you don't like dudes kissing.

I wish skittles reproduced sexually.

At 3/16/15 05:58 PM, AquaWatermelons wrote: I wish for more forum replies.

Granted, they're all spam about dong expansion.

I wish Bonzi Buddy was featured in Mortal Kombat

At 3/17/15 07:56 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish for a dish of knishes.

Granted...whatever that is.

I wish to catch a fish.

At 3/17/15 11:27 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to catch a fish.

Granted, it's a fugu fish that just so happens to be poisonous

I wish Lego blocks were used as weapons

At 3/17/15 12:28 PM, AoiShinigami wrote:

At 3/17/15 11:27 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to catch a fish.

Granted, it's a fugu fish that just so happens to be poisonous

I wish Lego blocks were used as weapons

Granted, you are killed by one.

I wish for world peace.

At 3/17/15 04:15 PM, Monster-64 wrote:

I wish a hot hispanic woman would intimately enter my life and soul. <3

Granted, but she dies, and possesses you. After that you have a huge craving for Hispanic penises.

I wish the military recruited fat people.

At 3/17/15 04:21 PM, Monster-64 wrote:

At 3/17/15 04:19 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:

At 3/17/15 04:15 PM, Monster-64 wrote:

I wish a hot hispanic woman would intimately enter my life and soul. <3

Granted, but she dies, and possesses you. After that you have a huge craving for Hispanic penises.

I wish the military recruited fat people.

Granted, but they get a dishonorable discharge after failing too many PT's

I wish I was in the military now.

Granted, but due to your parkour skills they enlist you as an deep-cover spy for the CIA, and the people you have to spy on are Hispanic Druglords. They soon discover you because somebody on the BBS here rats you out after you speak too much about it here. They use smoking hot Hispanic hoochies to bait you in. Once they capture you they put you in a deep pit that you have no possible way of parkouring out of.

I wish I was a master mind criminal.

At 3/17/15 04:25 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:
I wish I was a master mind criminal.

Granted, but you're in prison.

I wish Ridley from the Metroid series owned and operated an Ice Cream Parlor.

At 3/17/15 06:20 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/17/15 04:25 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:
I wish I was a master mind criminal.

Granted, but you're in prison.

This is weak, and quite frankly gay.

I wish Ridley from the Metroid series owned and operated an Ice Cream Parlor.

Granted, but he uses alien cum for his alien ice cream, that is in space. So you can never get some. Even if you wanted to.

I wish I could drink milk whenever I wanted to without having to worry about killing cows, or causing calcium deficiency in my nephew's 2 year old body.

At 3/17/15 06:27 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:
I wish I could drink milk whenever I wanted to without having to worry about killing cows, or causing calcium deficiency in my nephew's 2 year old body.

Granted. You get kidnapped by rogue scientists and get experimented on by them in hopes of unlocking the secret to your strange milk-drinking ability.

I wish you lost all of your good memories and can only remember the bad memories.

At 3/17/15 06:32 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/17/15 06:27 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:
I wish I could drink milk whenever I wanted to without having to worry about killing cows, or causing calcium deficiency in my nephew's 2 year old body.

Granted. You get kidnapped by rogue scientists and get experimented on by them in hopes of unlocking the secret to your strange milk-drinking ability.

I wish you lost all of your good memories and can only remember the bad memories.

Granted, the last good memories of my life pass before my eyes for one last moment, and in that instant I remember all of them. As for the bad ones, I manage to live with them as well.

I wish I got a phone call from that one girl who never called me back.

At 3/17/15 06:39 PM, Ketchemonia wrote:

I wish I got a phone call from that one girl who never called me back.

Granted. It's to confirm every self recrimination you've been running over in your mind. She gets closure but it sucks to be you.

I wish I could grow a Tom Sellick style mustache.

At 3/17/15 06:42 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish I could grow a Tom Sellick style mustache.

Granted. He chews you out for copying his style and painfully rips it off your face.

I wish for endless popcorn.

At 3/17/15 08:18 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 3/17/15 06:42 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish I could grow a Tom Sellick style mustache.

Granted. He chews you out for copying his style and painfully rips it off your face.

I wish for endless popcorn.

Granted, you get too fat from it and die.

I wish I was never hungry.