Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 4/7/13 03:54 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/7/13 03:52 PM, chupacabras89 wrote: Wish granted but you will fall in.

You forgot your wish so I'm going to steal it.

I wish I had a jet plane.

Granted, but it's made out of cardboard and duct tape.
I wish for blue strawberries.

At 4/7/13 04:06 PM, triplenoob wrote: I wish for blue strawberries.

Granted. Someone paints your strawberries blue, and when you eat them, you die from lead-based paint poisoning.

I wish I could quit smoking cigarettes.

At 4/7/13 07:28 PM, VJF wrote: I wish I could quit smoking cigarettes.

Wish granted, as you are now allergic to cigarettes and smoking one means you will die. You have no choice but to live your life craving for cigarettes and shaking sporadically.

I wish to paint

At 4/7/13 08:19 PM, juturnal wrote:

At 4/7/13 07:28 PM, VJF wrote: I wish I could quit smoking cigarettes.

Wish granted, as you are now allergic to cigarettes and smoking one means you will die. You have no choice but to live your life craving for cigarettes and shaking sporadically.

I wish to paint

Granted. A hand comes down from the sky, grabs you, and smears you arcoss a giant canvas after being dipped into some colors.

I want North Korea to destroy the imperialist threat.

At 4/7/13 09:22 PM, Psycho666 wrote: I want North Korea to destroy the imperialist threat.

Granted, but they come after your house first.

I wish I knew whether to drink milk or juice.

At 4/8/13 01:13 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/7/13 09:22 PM, Psycho666 wrote: I want North Korea to destroy the imperialist threat.

Granted, but they come after your house first.

I wish I knew whether to drink milk or juice.

Granted, you're going to drink juice. But it's prune juice.

I wish Valve would formally announce Half-Life 3 at this year's E3.

At 4/8/13 09:04 AM, TB1ZZL3 wrote: I wish Valve would formally announce Half-Life 3 at this year's E3.

Granted, but it won't come out until another 10 years.
I wish to be broken down into liquid form.

At 4/7/13 03:53 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote: I wish I had a cool hat.

Granted, but it's stolen.

At 4/8/13 09:42 AM, triplenoob wrote: I wish to be broken down into liquid form.

Granted. You die, someone puts you in a bag and then forgets you there, and then you turn liquid.

I wish someone filmed my suicide and uploaded it on the web.

At 4/8/13 10:28 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/7/13 03:53 PM, Heretic-Anchorite wrote: I wish I had a cool hat.

Granted, but it's stolen.

At 4/8/13 09:42 AM, triplenoob wrote: I wish to be broken down into liquid form.

Granted. You die, someone puts you in a bag and then forgets you there, and then you turn liquid.

I wish someone filmed my suicide and uploaded it on the web.

Ok but it's going to have funny sound effect's and a laugh track.

I wish I could learn some new languages.

At 4/8/13 10:28 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/8/13 09:42 AM, triplenoob wrote: I wish to be broken down into liquid form.

Granted. You die, someone puts you in a bag and then forgets you there, and then you turn liquid.

You don't understand the point of this, do you? You're supposed to corrupt the wish, with an outcome that is opposite to the wish.... Anyway.

I wish someone filmed my suicide and uploaded it on the web.

Granted, but the camera's battery died during filming and the video couldn't be uploaded to the web, hence making your death stupid and pointless.

I wish for a flying unicorn that knows how to play keytar.

At 4/8/13 11:16 AM, triplenoob wrote: I wish for a flying unicorn that knows how to play keytar.

Granted, but he only knows how to play one song on the keytar, the Harlem Shake, and he makes you pay air fare everytime you want to fly somewhere.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much, especially when it comes to school.

At 4/8/13 11:24 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/8/13 11:16 AM, triplenoob wrote: I wish for a flying unicorn that knows how to play keytar.

Granted, but he only knows how to play one song on the keytar, the Harlem Shake, and he makes you pay air fare everytime you want to fly somewhere.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much, especially when it comes to school.

granted, but you decide to wish for it later

i wish for this thread to get locked for absolutely no reason at all

At 4/8/13 11:13 AM, chupacabras89 wrote: I wish I could learn some new languages.

Granted, but you can't insult anyone any more since they all understand you.

At 4/8/13 11:48 AM, kanef wrote: i wish for this thread to get locked for absolutely no reason at all

The thread is locked, and people complain. So much they unlock it again.

I wish to get my sister's exchange student laid.

At 4/8/13 01:07 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to get my sister's exchange student laid.

You take him out to meet some new people, but he seems bored and disinterested. As you are leaving he knocks he you out and anally rapes you.

I wish to bang NewgroundsMike's sister.

At 4/8/13 01:13 PM, Shockoach wrote:

At 4/8/13 01:09 PM, Entice wrote: I wish to bang NewgroundsMike's sister.

granted, but she gets pregnant with twins and you're the father.

i wish i had a hat that fit me

Granted, but, it fits so well that the fibers become meshed into your skull. Also, it is a ten gallon hat.

I wish anti-antiperspirants did not lie about their abilities.

At 4/8/13 01:13 PM, Shockoach wrote:

At 4/8/13 01:09 PM, Entice wrote: I wish to bang NewgroundsMike's sister.

granted, but she gets pregnant with twins and you're the father.

i wish i had a hat that fit me

Granted, but it's made of crap.

I wish for Entice to bang my sister, so I'd have a good reason to kill her.

At 4/8/13 01:24 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/8/13 01:13 PM, Shockoach wrote:

At 4/8/13 01:09 PM, Entice wrote: I wish to bang NewgroundsMike's sister.

granted, but she gets pregnant with twins and you're the father.

i wish i had a hat that fit me

Granted, but it's made of crap.

I wish for Entice to bang my sister, so I'd have a good reason to kill her.

Granted, but you're gagged and tied to the ceiling while made to watch. They leave you there to die.

I wish that Newgrounds didn't have to have so much freemium content from crappy game developers.

At 4/8/13 01:53 PM, Psycho666 wrote: I wish that Newgrounds didn't have to have so much freemium content from crappy game developers.

Granted, now you have to pay for the Newgrounds content from crappy game developers.

I wish that this wish doesn't get corrupted into a joke about my sexual orientation.

At 4/8/13 03:46 PM, IcyWarriorOfLava wrote: I wish that this wish doesn't get corrupted into a joke about my sexual orientation.

Granted. It is now corrupted into a joke obout how oxymoronic your username is.

i wish I knew earlier that they make frozen pancakes, yummy.

At 4/8/13 10:19 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/8/13 03:46 PM, IcyWarriorOfLava wrote: I wish that this wish doesn't get corrupted into a joke about my sexual orientation.

Granted. It is now corrupted into a joke obout how oxymoronic your username is.

i wish I knew earlier that they make frozen pancakes, yummy.

you knew earlier but you get hit by a bus

I wish people would pay more attention to my superior intelect.

At 4/8/13 01:20 PM, Psycho666 wrote: I wish anti-antiperspirants did not lie about their abilities.

Granted, they tell you that they're going to kill you.

At 4/8/13 11:16 PM, Omegeist wrote: I wish people would pay more attention to my superior intelect.

Granted, they become jealous and kill you.

I wish my corruptions didn't always end with someone dying.

At 4/9/13 10:40 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish my corruptions didn't always end with someone dying.

Granted. This corruption now ends with that annoying emergency broadcast system test beep.

I wish my smoke alarm would stop beeping (I think it's battery is dying).

At 4/9/13 12:07 PM, VJF wrote:

I wish my smoke alarm would stop beeping (I think it's battery is dying).

Granted, now it's not working at all

I wish that people would realize that I am God

At 4/9/13 01:00 PM, Tediisan wrote:

At 4/9/13 12:07 PM, VJF wrote:

I wish my smoke alarm would stop beeping (I think it's battery is dying).

Granted, now it's not working at all

I wish that people would realize that I am God

Wish granted BUT nobody cares.

I wish that I could stop playing with my jizz after masturbation.

At 4/9/13 01:03 PM, mandog wrote:

At 4/9/13 01:00 PM, Tediisan wrote:

At 4/9/13 12:07 PM, VJF wrote:

I wish my smoke alarm would stop beeping (I think it's battery is dying).

Granted, now it's not working at all

I wish that people would realize that I am God

Wish granted BUT nobody cares.

I wish that I could stop playing with my jizz after masturbation.

Granted. You are castrated so you don't even jizz any more.

I wish I hadn't lent my CDs to the most irresponsible guy in the world.

At 4/9/13 01:11 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish I hadn't lent my CDs to the most irresponsible guy in the world.

Granted, but you lend them to the second most irresponsible guy in the world instead because he, "promised to get it back to you."

At 4/9/13 05:31 PM, Psycho666 wrote:

Granted, but you lend them to the second most irresponsible guy in the world instead because he, "promised to get it back to you."

I'm stealing your wish, since you didn't post one:

I wish people would stop forgetting to post their wishes.

At 4/9/13 05:36 PM, VJF wrote: I'm stealing your wish, since you didn't post one:

I wish people would stop forgetting to post their wishes.

Granted, but the Newgrounds servers erupt into flames moments later

I wish that I liked veggies

At 4/9/13 05:38 PM, Entice wrote: I wish that I liked veggies

Granted, you can now eat vegetables. Unfortunately, the doctors don't like you sexually exploiting their female coma patients, and you are kicked out of the hospital and jailed.

I wish that the next person that corrupts my wish will get the joke above.

At 4/9/13 05:43 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/9/13 05:38 PM, Entice wrote: I wish that I liked veggies

Granted, you can now eat vegetables. Unfortunately, the doctors don't like you sexually exploiting their female coma patients, and you are kicked out of the hospital and jailed.

I wish that the next person that corrupts my wish will get the joke above.

Wish granted but I'll forget the joke in a moment.