At 10/21/14 01:23 AM, BrenTheMan wrote:

At 10/21/14 01:19 AM, SubliminalVirus wrote: I wish for my basement to be fill with nuns and milk.

Your wish is my command. The nuns are sweet and kind and play nothing but jesus music. The milk is slightly fermented camel's milk and tastes a bit like armpit sweat.

I wish I was the best heavy metal guitarist the world has ever known.

granted,but you are found in hotel room from heroin overdose one day after years of a good career
i wish i was good at the guitar and piano and other instruments.

At 10/21/14 01:35 AM, kazumazkan wrote: granted,but you are found in hotel room from heroin overdose one day after years of a good career
i wish i was good at the guitar and piano and other instruments.

That's not a very corrupted wish, I'll take it.

You're good at guitar and piano, but you're obese, the ugliest person alive, and you have chronic flatulence and acne.

I wish Summer Glau thought I was the bee's knees.

At 10/21/14 01:43 AM, BrenTheMan wrote:
I wish Summer Glau thought I was the bee's knees.

Granted. It is a strictly on-again-off-again online interaction. She never really has time for skype, you can tell she's online and she takes hours to respond to your messages. You never get nudes, and she doesn't reveal a lot about herself...but you're an infatuation...an occasional chat partner strictly on her terms...and nothing more to her.

I wish I had legit video editing software that I knew how to use to get this thing that I've been commissioned to do completed soon.

At 10/21/14 05:14 AM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish I had legit video editing software that I knew how to use to get this thing that I've been commissioned to do completed soon.

Granted, but then a flying car struck your home and landed right on top of your computer.

I wish the next responder a happy life!

At 10/21/14 06:10 AM, CeeeX wrote:
I wish the next responder a happy life!

Granted, but their every whim and joy comes at you, your friends, and your family's expense.

I wish that I had superhuman endurance to every task I attempt.

At 10/21/14 03:01 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 10/21/14 06:17 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 10/21/14 06:10 AM, CeeeX wrote:
I wish the next responder a happy life!

Granted, but their every whim and joy comes at you, your friends, and your family's expense.

I wish that I had superhuman endurance to every task I attempt.

Granted, but it's only temporary and once it wears off, your endurance to everything is even worse than before.

I wish this thread still interests me as it used to.

granted, the thread once again pokes your interests but you are too suckered in and thus you spend every waking hour everyday on the thread till you drop dead.

i wish i could throw all the fedora wearing neckbeards in to a volcano

At 10/21/14 04:12 PM, kazumazkan wrote:


i wish i could throw all the fedora wearing neckbeards in to a volcano

Granted. Ownership of a fedora becomes a death sentence and a perfectly viable fashion choice is only further ruined.

I wish for an Iron Man style suit of armor that granted supreme musical ability.

At 10/21/14 07:40 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 10/21/14 04:12 PM, kazumazkan wrote:


i wish i could throw all the fedora wearing neckbeards in to a volcano

Granted. Ownership of a fedora becomes a death sentence and a perfectly viable fashion choice is only further ruined.

I wish for an Iron Man style suit of armor that granted supreme musical ability.

Granted. You'll get a 7-day free trial before paying weekly fees that's impossible to pay for.

I wish upon a star to find out where you are

At 10/21/14 07:44 PM, CeeeX wrote:

I wish upon a star to find out where you are

Granted. Turns out I'm right behind you.

I wish no computer games had the cheatcode style where you have to go into the programming and mess with numbers. That shit intimidates me.

At 10/21/14 07:49 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 10/21/14 07:44 PM, CeeeX wrote:

I wish upon a star to find out where you are

Granted. Turns out I'm right behind you.

I wish no computer games had the cheatcode style where you have to go into the programming and mess with numbers. That shit intimidates me.

Granted. You'll start shitting digits for the rest of your life. Have a diarrhea and codes will blast out of your ass like it's the matrix.

I wish Halloween lasted longer.

At 10/21/14 07:53 PM, CeeeX wrote: I wish Halloween lasted longer.

Granted. Soon you run out of sweets and the kids start playing tricks on you.

I wish my car had a CD player.

At 10/22/14 05:23 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish my car had a CD player.

Granted. It scratches the hell out of every CD you put in it, and skips wildly as if the laser was beyond repair.

I wish my friend got all the funding he needed to make his movie exactly as he envisioned.

At 10/22/14 05:47 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 10/22/14 05:23 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish my car had a CD player.

Granted. It scratches the hell out of every CD you put in it, and skips wildly as if the laser was beyond repair.

I wish my friend got all the funding he needed to make his movie exactly as he envisioned.

Granted, he decides to scrap the movie, take the money and run.

I wish for that movie to be finished.

At 10/22/14 05:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for that movie to be finished.

Granted, but you'll never see it.

I wish that I had the ability to shapeshift completely, at will, even if mass-shifting applies (which is being able to shrink completely in size, regrow to original size, grow at any size larger the original size, and morph back to original shape again.)

At 10/22/14 05:58 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 10/22/14 05:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for that movie to be finished.

Granted, but you'll never see it.

I wish that I had the ability to shapeshift completely, at will, even if mass-shifting applies (which is being able to shrink completely in size, regrow to original size, grow at any size larger the original size, and morph back to original shape again.)

Granted, you are now #1 on the US Government's hit list.

I wish to get off that hit list.

I wish the girl I love loved me an would have sex with me every night

At 10/22/14 06:14 AM, GRIMthaREAPER wrote: I wish the girl I love loved me an would have sex with me every night

Granted, she dies and you keep her corpse in your bed. That's what you get for not corrupting my wish.

See my last post.

At 10/22/14 06:21 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 10/22/14 06:14 AM, GRIMthaREAPER wrote: I wish the girl I love loved me an would have sex with me every night

Granted, she dies and you keep her corpse in your bed. That's what you get for not corrupting my wish.

See my last post.

u sick bastard

At 10/22/14 06:21 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 10/22/14 06:14 AM, GRIMthaREAPER wrote: I wish the girl I love loved me an would have sex with me every night

Granted, she dies and you keep her corpse in your bed. That's what you get for not corrupting my wish.

See my last post.

u forgot to make a wish and didn't know I had to corrupt a wish made to someone else

At 10/22/14 06:29 AM, GRIMthaREAPER wrote: u forgot to make a wish and didn't know I had to corrupt a wish made to someone else

I made a wish, you just conveniently ignored it.

I wished to get off the US government's hit list.

also, you kinda broke my feed

At 10/22/14 06:33 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 10/22/14 06:29 AM, GRIMthaREAPER wrote: u forgot to make a wish and didn't know I had to corrupt a wish made to someone else

I made a wish, you just conveniently ignored it.

I wished to get off the US government's hit list.

also, you kinda broke my feed

granted but you can never have sex again

At 10/22/14 06:33 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wished to get off the US government's hit list.

You're no longer on the hit list (and can't have sex again) because your colleagues have arranged for you to have an explosive death so that you become a martyr. Unfortunately the cause was for public urination, and they blow up a toilet.

I wish to learn every language in the world very quickly.

At 10/22/14 06:48 AM, TurkeyOnAStick wrote:

At 10/22/14 06:33 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wished to get off the US government's hit list.

You're no longer on the hit list (and can't have sex again) because your colleagues have arranged for you to have an explosive death so that you become a martyr. Unfortunately the cause was for public urination, and they blow up a toilet.

I wish to learn every language in the world very quickly.

Granted, only now do you start to realize what shit people all over the world say about you.

I wish I could have sex again.

I wish I could have sex again.

granted but ur dick is now 1 inch long

I wish the girl I love was alive again and a normal human

At 10/22/14 07:37 AM, GRIMthaREAPER wrote:

I wish I could have sex again.

granted but ur dick is now 1 inch long

I wish the girl I love was alive again and a normal human

She's alive, but she has a cock. She brutally sodomizes you every night.

I wish that all of the directors who felt the need to make unwanted remakes/sequels would all die in a massive fire.

At 10/22/14 08:40 AM, Bit wrote: I wish that all of the directors who felt the need to make unwanted remakes/sequels would all die in a massive fire.

Granted. You are charged with arson, and genocide.

I wish people could vote on which remakes/sequels are made.

At 10/22/14 01:11 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish people could vote on which remakes/sequels are made.

Granted. Buckle up, kids, because we're about to fund Michael Bay's cocaine habits with even more goddamned Transformers and TMNT bullshit because guess what, there's a lot of fucking idiots in this world and they're all going to vote for shit. This would single-handedly drown out the voice of creatives with original ideas and new films, paving the way for Idiocracy in Actuality. YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL. GODDAMMIT. THERE'S NO ESCAPE! THERE'S NO HOPE!!! THIS IS WHAT WE'RE IN FOR, ISN'T IT!?!? EVEN MORE MIND-ROT!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE BORING AND HUMORLESS DEATHS ALONE AND STARVED FOR SUBSTANTIAL ENTERTAINMENT, AT THE BECK AND CALL, AT THE MERCY OF THE BRAINLESS IDIOTS OF THE WORLD WITH THEIR FUCKING POPCORN AND NOISY CHILDREN, BASTARDS OF THE THEATER WITH THEIR GODDAMNED INCREASING LARGER INCREASINGLY BRIGHTER CELL PHONE SCREENS, STICKY FLOORS FROM THEIR SECRETED FFFFFILTH!!!!!! WE SHOULD BURN THEM ALL. BURN EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!!!

I wish that really, REALLY stupid people were sterilized.

At 10/22/14 04:33 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

I wish for a mighty golf club to slaughter my enemies with!

Granted. It does nothing to improve your stroke and you hit every severed head into the brush.

I wish for barbecue chips spiced to just irresponsibly hot levels.

I wish to be a screenwriter and singer for Hollywood...

At 10/22/14 04:46 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 10/22/14 04:33 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

I wish for a mighty golf club to slaughter my enemies with!

Granted. It does nothing to improve your stroke and you hit every severed head into the brush.

I wish for barbecue chips spiced to just irresponsibly hot levels.

Granted. You eat one and you get killed by explosive diarrhea.

At 10/22/14 05:16 PM, ZE13 wrote: I wish to be a screenwriter and singer for Hollywood...

Granted. The people hate your work. They kill you. You're dead.

I wish for a giant turtle.