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Corrupt a wish!

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Drake
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 02:51:09

At 4/2/13 02:32 AM, VJF wrote:
At 4/2/13 02:26 AM, Vnzi wrote: i wish for a period t this sentence!
Granted, but it was born with a hairlip and looks like an exclamation point instead.

I wish I had cool neighbors istead of the shitty ones I have now.

Granted, but they're drug dealers, and you end up involved in their operations, arrested, and get life in prison without parole as a result.

I wish for a nickel.


My Twitter | Jerkcity, est. 1998 | Someone brought the ruckus.

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VJF
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 03:32:48

At 4/2/13 02:30 AM, CresIsis wrote: I wish for a higher K/D in Assassins Creed Multiplayer.

Granted, but it's only one higher, and you still get your ass beat.

At 4/2/13 02:51 AM, Drake wrote: I wish for a nickel.

Granted, but you accidetally end up swallowing it one day ad it lodges itself in your colon wall, causing constipation and eventually lead poisoning, leading you to slowly die.

I wish I could afford to go to a regular doctor.


"You're a bit of a ghoul - aren't you?"---ZeroAsALimit.

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Boomstick
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 03:42:42

At 4/2/13 03:32 AM, VJF wrote:
I wish I could afford to go to a regular doctor.

Granted, but your insurance doesn't cover the prescription medicine you are assigned.

I wish I could not require sleep.


I HДVЗИ'T ЭДTЗЙ SLICЭD ЬЯЗДD SIИCЭ I ШДS TЩЗLVЭ

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Drake
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 03:47:22

At 4/2/13 03:42 AM, Boomstick wrote:
At 4/2/13 03:32 AM, VJF wrote:
I wish I could afford to go to a regular doctor.
Granted, but your insurance doesn't cover the prescription medicine you are assigned.

I wish I could not require sleep.

Granted. You die from exhaustion, however.

I wish for flying pigs.


My Twitter | Jerkcity, est. 1998 | Someone brought the ruckus.

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VJF
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 04:01:58

At 4/2/13 03:47 AM, Drake wrote: I wish for flying pigs.

Granted. Pigs start flying, which causes all sorts of chaos and crashes with airplanes in the sky, seeing as how pigs would freak the fuck out for a while because I mean hey, it's not every day a pig flies. Also, hundreds of people are bombarded and killed by pig shit from the sky.

I wish I had a drink.


"You're a bit of a ghoul - aren't you?"---ZeroAsALimit.

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DamnedByFate
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 05:55:45

At 4/2/13 03:58 AM, Shockoach wrote: I wish I didn't have hemorrhoids so I could put things in my butt

Granted, but you're way too enthusiastic, you shove a 10 foot pole up your butt and sort of impale yourself.

At 4/2/13 04:01 AM, VJF wrote: I wish I had a drink.

It's your own piss.

I wish I won the lottery.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
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Pkmn2
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 07:58:31

At 4/2/13 05:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I won the lottery.

You win a one-way ticket to Pluto.

I wish, I can fly whenever I want without a machine.


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DamnedByFate
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 08:03:44

At 4/2/13 07:58 AM, Pkmn2 wrote:
At 4/2/13 05:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I won the lottery.
You win a one-way ticket to Pluto.

I wish, I can fly whenever I want without a machine.

You fly into the sun and burn to cinders.

I wish I was alone on a tropical island.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
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ManiacCop2
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 09:16:30

At 4/2/13 08:03 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
At 4/2/13 07:58 AM, Pkmn2 wrote:
At 4/2/13 05:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I won the lottery.
You win a one-way ticket to Pluto.

I wish, I can fly whenever I want without a machine.
You fly into the sun and burn to cinders.

I wish I was alone on a tropical island.

Wish granted, but the island is being used as a nuclear testing site

I wish I could Teleport


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DamnedByFate
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 09:28:54

At 4/2/13 09:16 AM, ManiacCop2 wrote: I wish I could Teleport

You teleport yourself to a nuclear testing site, just at the moment of detonation.

I wish there were no nuclear weapons.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
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Ceratisa
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 12:29:39

At 4/2/13 09:28 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
At 4/2/13 09:16 AM, ManiacCop2 wrote: I wish I could Teleport
You teleport yourself to a nuclear testing site, just at the moment of detonation.

I wish there were no nuclear weapons.

Granted, the worlds consumption of fossil fuels dramatically increased instead of the much more abundant alternative. The increased cost of fossil fuels has killed and harmed more families than the two atomic bombs ever did, one thousand fold.

I wish I had a pony.

Phobotech
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 12:31:06

At 4/2/13 12:29 PM, Ceratisa wrote:
I wish I had a pony.

Granted. It costs so much money to maintain that you eventually lose everything...but at least you have plenty of horseshit underfoot and everywhere!

I wish I lived in the My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic universe.


"I sail through a golden nexus. By tanks with armor that glisten. I watch and I play with creations, and what I'm not reading, I listen." <-

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BasedBubbus
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 12:31:13

At 4/2/13 12:29 PM, Ceratisa wrote:
I wish I had a pony.

teenage boys are now called ponies and im now going to rape you

i wish i could rape someone


I'm a single father and a multimillionaire.

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Phobotech
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 12:37:21

At 4/2/13 12:31 PM, SwankyVagrant wrote:
i wish i could rape someone

Granted...but you're not very good at it...you get caught in the act, and you're beaten to an inch of your life. Once incarcerated, your fresh flesh becomes all the talk of the jail...you're raped endlessly for the rest of your sentence.

Since I got skipped, I'll repeat "I wish I lived int he My Little Pony Friendship is Magic universe."


"I sail through a golden nexus. By tanks with armor that glisten. I watch and I play with creations, and what I'm not reading, I listen." <-

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BasedBubbus
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 12:43:19

At 4/2/13 12:37 PM, Phobotech wrote:
At 4/2/13 12:31 PM, SwankyVagrant wrote:
i wish i could rape someone
Granted...but you're not very good at it...you get caught in the act, and you're beaten to an inch of your life. Once incarcerated, your fresh flesh becomes all the talk of the jail...you're raped endlessly for the rest of your sentence.

Since I got skipped, I'll repeat "I wish I lived int he My Little Pony Friendship is Magic universe."

you bring your white devil human diseases over and infect them all with swine flu

i wish i could touch tina fey


I'm a single father and a multimillionaire.

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DamnedByFate
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 13:25:20

At 4/2/13 12:43 PM, SwankyVagrant wrote: i wish i could touch tina fey

You can, but then you get arrested for sexual molestation.

I wish My Little Pony had never existed.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
Sig by Decky.

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Ceratisa
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 13:27:45

At 4/2/13 01:25 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
At 4/2/13 12:43 PM, SwankyVagrant wrote: i wish i could touch tina fey
You can, but then you get arrested for sexual molestation.

I wish My Little Pony had never existed.

Granted, something far more disturbing for adult males to like takes its place and is increasingly popular for 20 years becoming a massive success worldwide until its popularity starts to wane.

I wish everypony could just accept its okay to not like things.

LiquidFire
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 13:32:50

At 4/2/13 01:27 PM, Ceratisa wrote: I wish everypony could just accept its okay to not like things.

Granted. But now no one likes anything or anyone at all.

I wish people would use of the search bar before making topics


I'm crazy! Got a doctor's note.
Find me on the internet / TF2 Crew / NG GM Scripts

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DamnedByFate
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 13:37:26

At 4/2/13 01:27 PM, Ceratisa wrote: Granted, something far more disturbing for adult males to like takes its place

Can there be anything more disturbing for adult males to like?

At 4/2/13 01:32 PM, LiquidFire wrote: I wish people would use of the search bar before making topics

Granted. No one makes any more topics because they're all too lazy to use the search bar.

I wish I could curse in any language of the world.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
Sig by Decky.

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VJF
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-02 16:58:27

At 4/2/13 01:37 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could curse in any language of the world.

Granted. You can now curse in every language. However, that is all you can do. No matter what you try to say, what comes out of your mouth is foul language or expressions. Eventually, you say the wrong thing to Kim Jong Un, and he makes good on his threats and blows up the U.S. because you cursed him out.

I wish the Scenario thread would become active again.


"You're a bit of a ghoul - aren't you?"---ZeroAsALimit.

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DamnedByFate
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 09:06:52

At 4/2/13 04:58 PM, VJF wrote:
At 4/2/13 01:37 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could curse in any language of the world.
Granted. You can now curse in every language. However, that is all you can do. No matter what you try to say, what comes out of your mouth is foul language or expressions. Eventually, you say the wrong thing to Kim Jong Un, and he makes good on his threats and blows up the U.S. because you cursed him out.

Well, now you just encouraged me.


I wish the Scenario thread would become active again.

Granted, it becomes active again, but very soon it turns into a huge spamfest.

I wish I was the King of England.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
Sig by Decky.

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VJF
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 09:23:45

At 4/3/13 09:06 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was the King of England.

Granted, but in order to do so, you have to marry the Queen of England, and, well, have you seen her? Gross.

I wish I would quit losing my lighter so I can light my freakin cigarettes.


"You're a bit of a ghoul - aren't you?"---ZeroAsALimit.

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DamnedByFate
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 09:27:43

At 4/3/13 09:23 AM, VJF wrote:
At 4/3/13 09:06 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was the King of England.
Granted, but in order to do so, you have to marry the Queen of England, and, well, have you seen her? Gross.

I wish I would quit losing my lighter so I can light my freakin cigarettes.

Granted. Have fun dying of lung cancer.

I wish weed was legal.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
Sig by Decky.

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VJF
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 09:44:51

At 4/3/13 09:27 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish weed was legal.

Granted, but the government taxes the hell out of it and now instead of you smoking it illegally, you can't afford to smoke it at all.

I wish I could believe that it's not butter.


"You're a bit of a ghoul - aren't you?"---ZeroAsALimit.

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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 10:07:40

At 4/3/13 09:44 AM, VJF wrote:
At 4/3/13 09:27 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish weed was legal.
Granted, but the government taxes the hell out of it and now instead of you smoking it illegally, you can't afford to smoke it at all.

I wish I could believe that it's not butter.

Granted, but you eat it anyway.

I wish it was butter.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
Sig by Decky.

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Ceratisa
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 10:24:28

At 4/3/13 10:07 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
At 4/3/13 09:44 AM, VJF wrote:
At 4/3/13 09:27 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish weed was legal.
Granted, but the government taxes the hell out of it and now instead of you smoking it illegally, you can't afford to smoke it at all.

I wish I could believe that it's not butter.
Granted, but you eat it anyway.

I wish it was butter.

Granted but nobody wants to use you cause you fell on the floor and eventually you are thrown away.

I wish I had a million dollars.

Mismo
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 10:31:20

At 4/3/13 10:24 AM, Ceratisa wrote: I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted, but it is Australian dollars, so they're more or less worthless in America.


Something, something, something

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Mismo
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 10:32:24

At 4/3/13 10:31 AM, Mismo wrote:
At 4/3/13 10:24 AM, Ceratisa wrote: I wish I had a million dollars.
Granted, but it is Australian dollars, so they're more or less worthless in America.

Forgot my wish.

I wish I was truly happy.


Something, something, something

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VJF
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 10:32:54

At 4/3/13 10:24 AM, Ceratisa wrote: I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted. Your mother and father die in a car crash and leave behind an insurance policy worth 1.5 million dollars (after taxes, it will only be a million), and you are the only benefactor.

I wish I owned my own private island.


"You're a bit of a ghoul - aren't you?"---ZeroAsALimit.

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Ceratisa
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Response to Corrupt a wish! 2013-04-03 10:37:24

At 4/3/13 10:32 AM, VJF wrote:
At 4/3/13 10:24 AM, Ceratisa wrote: I wish I had a million dollars.
Granted. Your mother and father die in a car crash and leave behind an insurance policy worth 1.5 million dollars (after taxes, it will only be a million), and you are the only benefactor.

I wish I owned my own private island.

Granted, accidently used as a nuclear bomb test site for NK.


I wish I was truly happy.

Granted, but no one else can be happy while you are and the entire world is a depressing mess while you carry on. Eventually you are beaten to death just to end that smile.

I wish we had better Zombie games..