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At 4/1/13 04:18 PM, Vnzi wrote: you get 2 android phones
I wish for today to be april fools day

Granted - Everyday becomes April Fools Day creating social downfall as people become ever-increasingly paranoid due to never knowing whether someone is telling the truth or fucking with them.

I wish for death in the most excruciating way possible so I can actually feel something for once in my life and go out with a bang knowing that that would be the last feeling I would ever feel. (peaceful deaths are boring - I want to feel something in my last seconds.)

At 4/1/13 05:32 PM, CresIsis wrote: I wish for death in the most excruciating way possible so I can actually feel something for once in my life and go out with a bang knowing that that would be the last feeling I would ever feel. (peaceful deaths are boring - I want to feel something in my last seconds.)

Granted. You are tied to a chair, being made to slowly starve to death while being tortured in the worst way possible: being forced to watch every single episode of Oprah ever filmed.

I wish the real Pico 2 would come out soon.

At 4/2/13 02:26 AM, Vnzi wrote:

At 4/2/13 02:24 AM, VJF wrote: I wish the real Pico 2 would come out soon.

boom
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/614394
i wish for a period t this sentence

. <- However this period is not like the others as it's really a gaping hole that swallows all matter. A pit of gravity if you will that grows faster and will one day eat up the entire internet.

I wish for a higher K/D in Assassins Creed Multiplayer.

At 4/2/13 02:26 AM, Vnzi wrote: i wish for a period t this sentence!

Granted, but it was born with a hairlip and looks like an exclamation point instead.

I wish I had cool neighbors istead of the shitty ones I have now.

At 4/2/13 02:32 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/2/13 02:26 AM, Vnzi wrote: i wish for a period t this sentence!

Granted, but it was born with a hairlip and looks like an exclamation point instead.

I wish I had cool neighbors istead of the shitty ones I have now.

Granted, but they're drug dealers, and you end up involved in their operations, arrested, and get life in prison without parole as a result.

I wish for a nickel.

At 4/2/13 02:30 AM, CresIsis wrote: I wish for a higher K/D in Assassins Creed Multiplayer.

Granted, but it's only one higher, and you still get your ass beat.

At 4/2/13 02:51 AM, Drake wrote: I wish for a nickel.

Granted, but you accidetally end up swallowing it one day ad it lodges itself in your colon wall, causing constipation and eventually lead poisoning, leading you to slowly die.

I wish I could afford to go to a regular doctor.

At 4/2/13 03:32 AM, VJF wrote:
I wish I could afford to go to a regular doctor.

Granted, but your insurance doesn't cover the prescription medicine you are assigned.

I wish I could not require sleep.

At 4/2/13 03:42 AM, Boomstick wrote:

At 4/2/13 03:32 AM, VJF wrote:
I wish I could afford to go to a regular doctor.

Granted, but your insurance doesn't cover the prescription medicine you are assigned.

I wish I could not require sleep.

Granted. You die from exhaustion, however.

I wish for flying pigs.

At 4/2/13 03:47 AM, Drake wrote: I wish for flying pigs.

Granted. Pigs start flying, which causes all sorts of chaos and crashes with airplanes in the sky, seeing as how pigs would freak the fuck out for a while because I mean hey, it's not every day a pig flies. Also, hundreds of people are bombarded and killed by pig shit from the sky.

I wish I had a drink.

At 4/2/13 03:58 AM, Shockoach wrote: I wish I didn't have hemorrhoids so I could put things in my butt

Granted, but you're way too enthusiastic, you shove a 10 foot pole up your butt and sort of impale yourself.

At 4/2/13 04:01 AM, VJF wrote: I wish I had a drink.

It's your own piss.

I wish I won the lottery.

At 4/2/13 05:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I won the lottery.

You win a one-way ticket to Pluto.

I wish, I can fly whenever I want without a machine.

At 4/2/13 07:58 AM, Pkmn2 wrote:

At 4/2/13 05:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I won the lottery.

You win a one-way ticket to Pluto.

I wish, I can fly whenever I want without a machine.

You fly into the sun and burn to cinders.

I wish I was alone on a tropical island.

At 4/2/13 08:03 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/2/13 07:58 AM, Pkmn2 wrote:

At 4/2/13 05:55 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I won the lottery.

You win a one-way ticket to Pluto.

I wish, I can fly whenever I want without a machine.

You fly into the sun and burn to cinders.

I wish I was alone on a tropical island.

Wish granted, but the island is being used as a nuclear testing site

I wish I could Teleport

At 4/2/13 09:16 AM, ManiacCop2 wrote: I wish I could Teleport

You teleport yourself to a nuclear testing site, just at the moment of detonation.

I wish there were no nuclear weapons.

At 4/2/13 12:29 PM, Ceratisa wrote:
I wish I had a pony.

Granted. It costs so much money to maintain that you eventually lose everything...but at least you have plenty of horseshit underfoot and everywhere!

I wish I lived in the My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic universe.

At 4/2/13 12:29 PM, Ceratisa wrote:

I wish I had a pony.

teenage boys are now called ponies and im now going to rape you

i wish i could rape someone

At 4/2/13 12:31 PM, SwankyVagrant wrote:
i wish i could rape someone

Granted...but you're not very good at it...you get caught in the act, and you're beaten to an inch of your life. Once incarcerated, your fresh flesh becomes all the talk of the jail...you're raped endlessly for the rest of your sentence.

Since I got skipped, I'll repeat "I wish I lived int he My Little Pony Friendship is Magic universe."

At 4/2/13 12:37 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 4/2/13 12:31 PM, SwankyVagrant wrote:
i wish i could rape someone

Granted...but you're not very good at it...you get caught in the act, and you're beaten to an inch of your life. Once incarcerated, your fresh flesh becomes all the talk of the jail...you're raped endlessly for the rest of your sentence.

Since I got skipped, I'll repeat "I wish I lived int he My Little Pony Friendship is Magic universe."

you bring your white devil human diseases over and infect them all with swine flu

i wish i could touch tina fey

At 4/2/13 12:43 PM, SwankyVagrant wrote: i wish i could touch tina fey

You can, but then you get arrested for sexual molestation.

I wish My Little Pony had never existed.

At 4/2/13 01:27 PM, Ceratisa wrote: Granted, something far more disturbing for adult males to like takes its place

Can there be anything more disturbing for adult males to like?

At 4/2/13 01:32 PM, LiquidFire wrote: I wish people would use of the search bar before making topics

Granted. No one makes any more topics because they're all too lazy to use the search bar.

I wish I could curse in any language of the world.

At 4/2/13 01:37 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could curse in any language of the world.

Granted. You can now curse in every language. However, that is all you can do. No matter what you try to say, what comes out of your mouth is foul language or expressions. Eventually, you say the wrong thing to Kim Jong Un, and he makes good on his threats and blows up the U.S. because you cursed him out.

I wish the Scenario thread would become active again.

At 4/2/13 04:58 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/2/13 01:37 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could curse in any language of the world.

Granted. You can now curse in every language. However, that is all you can do. No matter what you try to say, what comes out of your mouth is foul language or expressions. Eventually, you say the wrong thing to Kim Jong Un, and he makes good on his threats and blows up the U.S. because you cursed him out.

Well, now you just encouraged me.

I wish the Scenario thread would become active again.

Granted, it becomes active again, but very soon it turns into a huge spamfest.

I wish I was the King of England.

At 4/3/13 09:06 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was the King of England.

Granted, but in order to do so, you have to marry the Queen of England, and, well, have you seen her? Gross.

I wish I would quit losing my lighter so I can light my freakin cigarettes.

At 4/3/13 09:23 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/3/13 09:06 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was the King of England.

Granted, but in order to do so, you have to marry the Queen of England, and, well, have you seen her? Gross.

I wish I would quit losing my lighter so I can light my freakin cigarettes.

Granted. Have fun dying of lung cancer.

I wish weed was legal.

At 4/3/13 09:27 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish weed was legal.

Granted, but the government taxes the hell out of it and now instead of you smoking it illegally, you can't afford to smoke it at all.

I wish I could believe that it's not butter.

At 4/3/13 09:44 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/3/13 09:27 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish weed was legal.

Granted, but the government taxes the hell out of it and now instead of you smoking it illegally, you can't afford to smoke it at all.

I wish I could believe that it's not butter.

Granted, but you eat it anyway.

I wish it was butter.