Newgrounds.com — Everything, By Everyone.

At 6/1/14 09:49 AM, Ericho wrote: I wish I could replace the Nostalgia Critic and be as loved as he is.

Granted. You do so after an event that makes everyone hate him.

I wish for love.

At 3/24/13 03:03 PM, Manly-Chicken wrote:

At 3/24/13 02:42 PM, Mismo wrote:

At 3/24/13 02:16 PM, Grotty wrote: I wish there was something worth watching on television.

Granted but you are now so enthralled by what is being broadcasted that you can not simply tear yourself away from the TV thus you die from hunger and dehydration.

I wish that I had one of my favorite pizzas in the fridge right now.

It's not in your fridge but someone else's.
I wish that you had your favorite pizza in your fridge.

Your fridge's door is jammed and you cannot open it, thus not enjoy the delicious pizza.
I wish I had my favorite pizza in my hands, ready to eat it.

At 6/1/14 10:08 AM, Splats wrote: I wish I had my favorite pizza in my hands, ready to eat it.

Granted, but it's cold. Now go back and corrupt my wish, damnit!

At 6/1/14 10:07 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for love.

Granted. I love you. Let's fuck.

I wish for happiness forever.

At 6/1/14 10:22 AM, i-am-ghey wrote:

At 6/1/14 10:07 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for love.

Granted. I love you. Let's fuck.

I wish for happiness forever.

Granted. It soon gets boring.

I wish you weren't ghey.

At 5/31/14 11:16 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 5/31/14 08:12 AM, UFO3240 wrote: I wish for need for speed underground 3

Granted, but it won't run.

At 5/31/14 10:07 AM, Ericho wrote: I wish my dad had no chance of getting any kind of cancer ever.

Granted, now he has to watch you die of cancer.

I wish I was Tom Fulp.

Granted.You are Tom Fulp but not the creator of newgrounds.
I wish to become a successful banker.

At 6/1/14 12:17 PM, kletos wrote: I wish to become a successful banker.

Granted. Your bank shot in a game of pool is now impeccable, but the finesse required for a good side shot continues to elude you.

I wish Green Day had quit making music right after Insomniac.

At 6/1/14 10:41 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish you weren't ghey.

Granted. I am bisexual and I still love you <3

At 6/1/14 12:25 PM, Me-Patch wrote: I wish Green Day had quit making music right after Insomniac.

Granted. No one outside the scene has ever heard of them, now they're dirt poor and it's your fault.

There's a rock festival in my home town, but there are hardly any good bands and 2000 people are considered a success. I wish it was more popular.

At 6/1/14 12:58 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 6/1/14 12:25 PM, Me-Patch wrote: I wish Green Day had quit making music right after Insomniac.

Granted. No one outside the scene has ever heard of them, now they're dirt poor and it's your fault.

There's a rock festival in my home town, but there are hardly any good bands and 2000 people are considered a success. I wish it was more popular.

Granted, but then your town becomes taken over by the millions of concert goers, and becomes known as Rocktown. The rent goes way up, and you're kicked out of your home. You try to sleep on the streets, but the music keeps you up all night. You attempt to escape town, but then a rock tour bus hits you, and it comically flattens you.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of the best waffles known to man, that they would never expire over time, and they wouldn't lose flavour over time. I also wish for an infinite supply of maple syrup, that doesn't expire, and doesn't lose flavour. They should be summoned in a box on my kitchen table, the box is a regular cardboard box.

At 6/1/14 09:39 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 6/1/14 07:30 AM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish I hated alcohol the very instant I tried it, so I never wasted all of that time.

Granted. Now, you go to a concert, and the only thing they sell you is beer. What do you do now?

Then I wouldn't drink a shitty $10 beer in a solo cup, and I'd go there for what I came there for...music. That is not difficult in the slightest.

At 6/1/14 02:54 PM, abbuw wrote:
I wish I had an unlimited supply of the best waffles known to man, that they would never expire over time, and they wouldn't lose flavour over time. I also wish for an infinite supply of maple syrup, that doesn't expire, and doesn't lose flavour. They should be summoned in a box on my kitchen table, the box is a regular cardboard box.

Granted. They are manufactured by a Goblin who lives in your kitchen...his entire diet consists of these waffles, but he must be happy in order to keep up with your demand. This means fulfilling his peculiar requests every once and a while and paying attention to him...having a conversation with him, and being hospitable to him...even though he may break things from time to time, and invade your personal space, but you are his master. He loves you...and you must facilitate that love in order to get the best damned waffles known to man. But his trust is tiny, and his ego fragile...the worse his mood, the worse these waffles taste...if he becomes lonely or dejected or angry or sad enough, he may make a waffle so bad that it'll kill either him or you someday...its walking on egg-shells in your own home from now on.

Also, if he DOES die, his ghost will continue to haunt you for the rest of his days. Hope it was a sad death and not an angry death.

I wish at the beginning of each day, all of my ailments are reset and I become perfectly healthy and optimally functional again.

At 6/1/14 04:33 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish at the beginning of each day, all of my ailments are reset and I become perfectly healthy and optimally functional again.

Granted. You'll meet some ultra sadistic guy and suffer the same fate as Prometheus.

I wish I wasn't sick enough to think of that.

At 6/2/14 01:24 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I wasn't sick enough to think of that.

Granted. Instead, all of the sick thoughts and fantasies are no longer plotted out, but carried out physically through impulsive behavior.

I wish more people would get in on this thread so its not just you and I going back and forth before it eventually dies.

At 6/3/14 09:24 AM, SCTE3 wrote: I wish I knew what to wish for.

Wish Granted. That's it.

I wish that Newgrounds would get out of its slump.

At 6/3/14 09:49 AM, SCTE3 wrote: I wish I had a tasty sandwich made of nothing but meat and cheese.

Granted. The sandwich was so tasty that you refused to eat anything but meat and cheese sandwiches. You soon became morbidly obese and died of heart attack.

I wish I could win the lottery and become wealthy.

At 6/3/14 11:05 AM, i-am-ghey wrote:

At 6/3/14 09:49 AM, SCTE3 wrote: I wish I had a tasty sandwich made of nothing but meat and cheese.

Granted. The sandwich was so tasty that you refused to eat anything but meat and cheese sandwiches. You soon became morbidly obese and died of heart attack.

I wish I could win the lottery and become wealthy.

Granted, you now have the chance to win the lottery and become wealthy, but you decide not to take it.

I wish I did win the lottery and become wealthy.

At 6/3/14 11:05 AM, i-am-ghey wrote:
I wish I could win the lottery and become wealthy.

Granted. You just won 60 trillion dollars of counterfeit money.

I wish that I told Chuck Norris that girls have more balls than him, both physically and mentally.

At 6/3/14 01:56 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

I wish that I told Chuck Norris that girls have more balls than him, both physically and mentally.

granted. he had a sex change to have more balls.

i wish i did not have to sleep so i could have more time to do things i liked.

At 6/3/14 01:55 PM, SCTE3 wrote:
I wish I could cuddle all my friends on Newgrounds.

sorry. i skipped this one.

granted. it turned out that one of your friends had an infectious disease. you became infected.

see my wish in my previous post.

At 6/3/14 02:02 PM, i-am-ghey wrote:
i wish i did not have to sleep so i could have more time to do things i liked.

Granted. Your sleeplessness gave you the appearance of a zombie and Chuck Norris beat you up as a result.

At 6/3/14 02:13 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:

At 6/3/14 02:02 PM, i-am-ghey wrote:
i wish i did not have to sleep so i could have more time to do things i liked.

Granted. Your sleeplessness gave you the appearance of a zombie and Chuck Norris beat you up as a result.

I wish people would either make wishes or fuck off.

At 6/3/14 02:14 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish people would either make wishes or fuck off.

Granted. Now everyone longs for something or wants something really bad, but thinks they can just wish for it instead of working hard for their desired results. Nothing gets done, and the world crumbles around us.

I wish my brother wasn't an asshole, and was actually pleasant and brief company every time I saw him.

At 6/3/14 03:06 PM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish my brother wasn't an asshole, and was actually pleasant and brief company every time I saw him.

Scratch that, new wish: I wish I could grow the perfect beard at a normal, healthy rate.

At 6/4/14 04:47 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/3/14 03:06 PM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish my brother wasn't an asshole, and was actually pleasant and brief company every time I saw him.

Scratch that, new wish: I wish I could grow the perfect beard at a normal, healthy rate.

Granted, your beard grows a inch per minute and becomes a mile long. Birds make nests in it, you decide to cut it.

I wish for it to all be over.

At 6/4/14 04:51 AM, lookatmen0w wrote:
I wish for it to all be over.

Granted. in the dead of the night, a group of masked men throw a hood over your head, throw you into the back of the van, and take you to an undisclosed location. Where a massive freight elevator whirrs up, your ears begin to pop as you descend into the pressured depths. They unveil your hood to reveal that you are face to face with a disturbed looking scientist, worn weary of countless horrors and years of hardship.

He asks you, "Are you Doctor Townsend?"
You explain to him you aren't.

Oh...well, it was all a big understanding...but, as you're being led away by thoroughly embarrassed and berated henchmen so they can return you home, you're so far underground that I guess you could say all of it is...over...you?

I wish for all pet animals to be super happy and safe and well fed and loved, all over the world.

At 6/4/14 05:19 AM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish for all pet animals to be super happy and safe and well fed and loved, all over the world.

Granted. Now, human beings are no longer loved.

I wish it was legal for me (and only me) to commit murder.

At 6/4/14 06:10 AM, i-am-ghey wrote: I wish it was legal for me (and only me) to commit murder.

Granted, but you end up killing everyone on Earth in your rampage, worst part is, you're hailed as a celebrity and you're recorded in the news, people line up waiting to be killed by you. In the end, when everyone is dead, you look at those tapes and you regret it.

I wish for stuff.