At 3/31/13 08:56 PM, scoutthesoldier wrote:
Granted, but Oreo was left in the milk for a while and cannot be taken out without some trouble.

I wish for a halo.

Granted, but it will play Beyonce's Halo on loop non-stop for the rest of your life.

I wish I had telekinesis.

At 3/31/13 10:02 PM, Omegeist wrote: I wish I could stop procrastinating

Granted. Soon, you have everything done that comes your way within hours. With all the free time you have, you decide to go outside for some fresh air and relaxation.So you hop in your car and drive 50 miles away to a small town to relax. However, you pick the wrong day to take a vacation as Kim Jong Un. in an act of war, decides to shoot a nuclear missile at your area, killing you instantly.

I wish for a dish of a fish.

At 4/1/13 01:16 AM, Shade wrote: I wish I was in the same room as Liam Neeson.

Granted, but you are tied to a chair while Liam Neeson repeatedly punches you in the face while screaming at you to tll him where his daughter is/ (Taken reference).

I wish I didn't have to pee.

At 4/1/13 01:29 AM, VJF wrote: I wish I didn't have to pee.

Wish granted, but you'll probably die of poison since your body isn't releasing any toxins through urine.

I wish for this thread to die

At 4/1/13 01:33 AM, juturnal wrote: I wish for this thread to die

Granted. This thread dies when Tom Fulp crashes his private jet into a mountain, killing himself and the rest of the staff, which causes Newgrounds to shut down.

I wish I didn't have to go back to COllege tomorrow (it's still Sunday here).

At 4/1/13 01:43 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/1/13 01:33 AM, juturnal wrote: I wish for this thread to die

Granted. This thread dies when Tom Fulp crashes his private jet into a mountain, killing himself and the rest of the staff, which causes Newgrounds to shut down.

I wish I didn't have to go back to COllege tomorrow (it's still Sunday here).

Granted you got dropped for no reason from your classes.

I wish for a new episode of game of thrones..

At 4/1/13 02:18 AM, Ceratisa wrote:

I wish for a new episode of game of thrones..

Granted, but you won't be able to focus on it because your phone is blowin up, motherfuckers poppin' up outta nowhere interrupting you, and after you've dispatched everything and tended to more pressing engagements, the power goes out...only to have the spoiler that this particular episode was rather unremarkable and forgettable anyway, leading many to question the direction of the show as a whole.

Thus marking the beginning of the downward spiral, wasting hours more of your time trying to justify what was once a great show by clinging onto hope that the show will become great again...to no avail.

You waste time you will never regain.

I wish I could control time infinitely and effortlessly.

At 4/1/13 02:31 AM, Phobotech wrote:

At 4/1/13 02:18 AM, Ceratisa wrote:

I wish for a new episode of game of thrones..

Granted, but you won't be able to focus on it because your phone is blowin up, motherfuckers poppin' up outta nowhere interrupting you, and after you've dispatched everything and tended to more pressing engagements, the power goes out...only to have the spoiler that this particular episode was rather unremarkable and forgettable anyway, leading many to question the direction of the show as a whole.

Thus marking the beginning of the downward spiral, wasting hours more of your time trying to justify what was once a great show by clinging onto hope that the show will become great again...to no avail.

You waste time you will never regain.

I wish I could control time infinitely and effortlessly.

-That stung pho bo bo-

Wish granted, but life loses meaning with such control and you fall into a maddening despair. In your insanity you lose control fly into the past and get eaten by an angry pack of Compsognathus.

I wish I could read and comprehend books fully by flipping through each page cover to cover.

At 4/1/13 02:39 AM, Ceratisa wrote: I wish I could read and comprehend books fully by flipping through each page cover to cover.

Granted. You comprehend every book so well that you never forget anything you read. This results in you touring the country and showing off your gift on tv and infomercials. Unfortunately, because you comprehend and remember everything so well, your brain can't hold all the information in and one day on live TV, you die of an aneurism, shitting yourself as you die in front of millions.

I wish someone would actually make a good April Fool's Day joke.

At 4/1/13 02:39 AM, Ceratisa wrote:
I wish I could read and comprehend books fully by flipping through each page cover to cover.

Your wish is granted...but at a heavy cost to your own eyesight...with this uncanny ability, life, obligations get in the way from all of these books...you have to take breathers in between each so as not to overload from all the information. But you eventually retire...you find yourself in a prime condition to read all of the books you could ever want...

...yes...all the time in the world...... (please tell me you know where I'm going with this)

I wish I were a ghost.

At 4/1/13 03:50 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish I were a ghost.

Granted, but you aren't one of those cool ghosts you see in the movies. You turn out to be one of the ghosts no one can see or here, and wander the rest of eternity around the world searching for release.

And since I got skipped earlier, I still wish for someone to make a good April Fool's thread.

At 4/1/13 05:31 AM, VJF wrote: And since I got skipped earlier, I still wish for someone to make a good April Fool's thread.

Granted but it turns out to be naked photo shopped pictures of you and your mother (but it being a good April Fools thread, everyone believes that they're real.)

I wish I had every medal on Newgrounds earned through hard work without any risk of getting my account deleted or any risk of me being unable to use my account afterwards, during, or before I get my medals.

At 4/1/13 05:38 AM, CresIsis wrote: I wish I had every medal on Newgrounds earned through hard work without any risk of getting my account deleted or any risk of me being unable to use my account afterwards, during, or before I get my medals.

Granted but you get bored of the site and never return.

At 4/1/13 05:39 AM, Skaren wrote: I wish I had a cup of coffee.

^This is still my wish, had to use an alt such as not to skip a mang.

At 4/1/13 05:39 AM, Skaren wrote: I wish I had a cup of coffee.

Granted, but I peed into it before.

I wish it wasn't April Fools today.

I wish it wasn't April Fools today.

granted. it's April Fools EVERYDAY (except today)

I wish for yolo swag

At 4/1/13 12:38 PM, mechadude32 wrote:

I wish it wasn't April Fools today.

granted. it's April Fools EVERYDAY (except today)

I wish for yolo swag

Granted, but your parents die from a swag overload as well.
I wish I had unlimited wishes.

At 4/1/13 01:00 PM, BravePanda wrote: I wish I had unlimited wishes.

Granted, but they all end up being corrupt. The first thing you wish for is that you could live forever, which you do, but you still age. The second thing you wish for is a million bucks, and suddenly you get crushed by a sta,pede of a million deer, but because you are immotrtal, you don't die, but you feel every hoof in your back.

I wish I had a new video game.

At 4/1/13 01:04 PM, VJF wrote: I wish I had a new video game.

Granted. The game is so fun and addicting that you forget to eat and you die.

I wish I had a car.

At 4/1/13 01:11 PM, Scarface wrote:

At 4/1/13 01:04 PM, VJF wrote: I wish I had a new video game.

Granted. The game is so fun and addicting that you forget to eat and you die.

I wish I had a car.

You get one, and on the first day you get into an accident and die.

I wish someone could tell me a good joke.

At 4/1/13 01:53 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish someone could tell me a good joke.

Granted. You hear a joke so funny that you laugh so long and hard you asphixiate yourself to death.

I wish I knew a funny joke to tell NewgroundsMike.

At 4/1/13 01:57 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/1/13 01:53 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish someone could tell me a good joke.

Granted. You hear a joke so funny that you laugh so long and hard you asphixiate yourself to death.

I wish I knew a funny joke to tell NewgroundsMike.

You do, but before you can even tell it, you laugh so hard yourself that you asphyxiate.

I wish for heavy metal.

At 4/1/13 02:11 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for heavy metal.

Granted. You are walking down the street one day and someone drops a safe on your head.

I wish I had new shoes.

I wish I had new shoes.

granted, but when you get them they are filled with shit and always will be.

i wish for robots

At 4/1/13 04:18 PM, Vnzi wrote: you get 2 android phones
I wish for today to be april fools day

Granted - Everyday becomes April Fools Day creating social downfall as people become ever-increasingly paranoid due to never knowing whether someone is telling the truth or fucking with them.

I wish for death in the most excruciating way possible so I can actually feel something for once in my life and go out with a bang knowing that that would be the last feeling I would ever feel. (peaceful deaths are boring - I want to feel something in my last seconds.)

At 4/1/13 05:32 PM, CresIsis wrote: I wish for death in the most excruciating way possible so I can actually feel something for once in my life and go out with a bang knowing that that would be the last feeling I would ever feel. (peaceful deaths are boring - I want to feel something in my last seconds.)

Granted. You are tied to a chair, being made to slowly starve to death while being tortured in the worst way possible: being forced to watch every single episode of Oprah ever filmed.

I wish the real Pico 2 would come out soon.

At 4/2/13 02:26 AM, Vnzi wrote:

At 4/2/13 02:24 AM, VJF wrote: I wish the real Pico 2 would come out soon.

boom
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/614394
i wish for a period t this sentence

. <- However this period is not like the others as it's really a gaping hole that swallows all matter. A pit of gravity if you will that grows faster and will one day eat up the entire internet.

I wish for a higher K/D in Assassins Creed Multiplayer.

At 4/2/13 02:26 AM, Vnzi wrote: i wish for a period t this sentence!

Granted, but it was born with a hairlip and looks like an exclamation point instead.

I wish I had cool neighbors istead of the shitty ones I have now.

At 4/2/13 02:32 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/2/13 02:26 AM, Vnzi wrote: i wish for a period t this sentence!

Granted, but it was born with a hairlip and looks like an exclamation point instead.

I wish I had cool neighbors istead of the shitty ones I have now.

Granted, but they're drug dealers, and you end up involved in their operations, arrested, and get life in prison without parole as a result.

I wish for a nickel.

At 4/2/13 02:30 AM, CresIsis wrote: I wish for a higher K/D in Assassins Creed Multiplayer.

Granted, but it's only one higher, and you still get your ass beat.

At 4/2/13 02:51 AM, Drake wrote: I wish for a nickel.

Granted, but you accidetally end up swallowing it one day ad it lodges itself in your colon wall, causing constipation and eventually lead poisoning, leading you to slowly die.

I wish I could afford to go to a regular doctor.

At 4/2/13 03:32 AM, VJF wrote:
I wish I could afford to go to a regular doctor.

Granted, but your insurance doesn't cover the prescription medicine you are assigned.

I wish I could not require sleep.