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At 3/21/14 05:08 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 3/21/14 02:37 PM, Elitistinen wrote:
I wish for weed to be legalized in North America so I don't have to buy it on darknet or drag myself all the way to Colorado.

Granted. Home-grown weed is still illegal and the legal stuff is incredibly weakened, with no greater buzz than one would get from a Clove cigarette.

I wish my buddy who has a metal rod in his spine from a shitty scholiosis surgery, instead had a fully functional, flexible robot spine that'll last him the rest of his life without any painful side effects. That way, he can get a comfortable nights rest.

Granted. However, his robot spine develops a life of its own without him even noticing.

I wish your buddy was healthy.

At 3/22/14 10:42 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish your buddy was healthy.

Granted, but he drains health from you.

I wish the Westboro Baptist Church disbanded because of Fred Phelps finally dying.

At 3/22/14 12:49 PM, Ericho wrote:

At 3/22/14 10:42 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish your buddy was healthy.

Granted, but he drains health from you.

I wish the Westboro Baptist Church disbanded because of Fred Phelps finally dying.

Granted, but a new church, filled with rapist priests, is immediately formed.

I wish I could live in a cartoon world.

At 3/22/14 12:58 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 3/22/14 12:49 PM, Ericho wrote:

At 3/22/14 10:42 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish your buddy was healthy.

Granted, but he drains health from you.

I wish the Westboro Baptist Church disbanded because of Fred Phelps finally dying.

Granted, but a new church, filled with rapist priests, is immediately formed.

There are enough of those already.

I wish I could live in a cartoon world.

Granted, you're the guy who's always beaten up.

I wish for a church whose priests are normal people.

At 3/22/14 01:51 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for a church whose priests are normal people.

Granted. With nothing to complain about the more obnoxious atheists of the world overfill with self righteousness and explode. The bad part is some of it gets on your shirt.

I wish for a house on the moon with plenty of air and food that only I can easily get to.

At 3/22/14 04:36 PM, stafffighter wrote:

I wish for a house on the moon with plenty of air and food that only I can easily get to.

granted,buy you can't have any friends or family and you grow lonely
i wish for a house in the country side and a barn with a good internet connection and tv

At 3/22/14 07:55 PM, kazumazkan wrote:

At 3/22/14 04:36 PM, stafffighter wrote:

I wish for a house on the moon with plenty of air and food that only I can easily get to.

granted,buy you can't have any friends or family and you grow lonely

You were supposed to corrupt it.

i wish for a house in the country side and a barn with a good internet connection and tv

Granted. The tv has no remote.

I wish for 90 loaded and cocked crossbows.

At 3/22/14 08:06 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for 90 loaded and cocked crossbows.

Granted. Tumbling into a heap before your very eyes is a bizarre site...Ninety wooden devices and...each and every single one of them is loaded with cheese, chives, bacon bits, and sour cream....

"Ohhhhh 'loaded'..." you sigh...

You precariously pick one of the disappointing things up. Upon further inspection, the crossbow is intricately carved to resemble a rooster...the front of the beak and the face pointing forward, depicting wings spread wide to form the arms of the weapon.

".......Roost- Chicken? Oh, goddammit...'Cocked' ...." you mutter and grumble. Tossing the messy, food-stained Cockbow to the ground with the pile of other messy cacophany of disappointing bullshit.

The only proper response to this madness is to shit into your own hand because at least SOMETHING interesting will happen, and maybe the room won't reek of sour cream, fake bacon, and chives.

I wish that GMO's were actually healthier for us than expensive organic foods. That way the cheaper, mass-produced alternative stuff was actually beneficial and a much better deal, too.

At 3/23/14 09:08 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish that GMO's were actually healthier for us than expensive organic foods. That way the cheaper, mass-produced alternative stuff was actually beneficial and a much better deal, too.

Granted, but they taste terrible.

I wish I could visit every country in the world.

At 3/23/14 09:59 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 3/23/14 09:08 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish that GMO's were actually healthier for us than expensive organic foods. That way the cheaper, mass-produced alternative stuff was actually beneficial and a much better deal, too.

Granted, but they taste terrible.

I wish I could visit every country in the world.

Granted, now they hate you all over the world.

I wish no one hated me.

At 3/23/14 10:20 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish no one hated me.

Granted. We all want hugs.

I wish the spice girls hadn't broken up.

At 3/23/14 07:28 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 3/23/14 10:20 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish no one hated me.

Granted. We all want hugs.

I wish the spice girls hadn't broken up.

they get back together but they now play classic bluegrass and are all old and white

i wish she was real

At 3/23/14 07:31 PM, Thoth0 wrote:
i wish she was real

Granted, but its nowhere near you and there's no indication to where she is. She has no connection to you. You will never meet her in your life.

I wish I had a magic credit card that never ran out of money, belonging to only me, that perfectly, legally, granted me alone limitless funds to do as I please.

At 3/23/14 07:34 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish I had a magic credit card that never ran out of money, belonging to only me, that perfectly, legally, granted me alone limitless funds to do as I please.

Granted. You leave your wallet in your pants and it goes through the washer and dryer.

I wish Mcdonalds had the shamrock shake year round.

At 3/23/14 07:58 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish Mcdonalds had the shamrock shake year round.

Granted. To meet with the demand of the special supplies, there's a degradation in quality to meet with the new standard for distribution. They will never be as good as they were ever again.

I wish I could just poop like a normal person.

At 3/24/14 08:18 AM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish I could just poop like a normal person.

Granted, but you now fart out from your dick.

I wish today is the first anniversary of this thread's creation.

At 3/24/14 10:21 AM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 3/24/14 08:18 AM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish I could just poop like a normal person.

Granted, but you now fart out from your dick.

I wish today is the first anniversary of this thread's creation.

Granted, but then you're transported to an alternate dimension where this thread was created a day earlier, so you missed out on the anniversary.

I wish I could contribute to other threads as well (as I'm sure half my posts are in this thread alone).

At 3/24/14 10:39 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 3/24/14 10:21 AM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 3/24/14 08:18 AM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish I could just poop like a normal person.

Granted, but you now fart out from your dick.

I wish today is the first anniversary of this thread's creation.

Granted, but then you're transported to an alternate dimension where this thread was created a day earlier, so you missed out on the anniversary.

I wish I could contribute to other threads as well (as I'm sure half my posts are in this thread alone).

Granted. However, all of your posts get deleted, even those not in this thread.

I wish for 2 cheese quesadillas.

At 3/24/14 01:53 PM, Protoman1337 wrote: I wish for 2 cheese quesadillas.

Granted, but the cheese smells. Like, really bad.

I wish I hadn't eaten so goddamn much.

At 3/24/14 02:16 PM, Elitistinen wrote:
I wish for someone make Putin dead, just like an accident, heart attack. To pay for all the victims he killed.

Granted. A cataclysmic synchronized nuclear event occurs in Russia, where all Russian nuclear reactors meltdown, develop into China Syndrome. Its not the radiation that kills Putin, but a heart attack from the stress from the situation.

The world is changed forever...humanity dangles from a toxic thread, surrounded by deadly, irreversible horrors.

I wish Nuclear energy was traded out completely, ENTIRELY, for something safer.

At 3/24/14 08:03 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 3/24/14 02:16 PM, Elitistinen wrote:
I wish for someone make Putin dead, just like an accident, heart attack. To pay for all the victims he killed.

Granted. A cataclysmic synchronized nuclear event occurs in Russia, where all Russian nuclear reactors meltdown, develop into China Syndrome. Its not the radiation that kills Putin, but a heart attack from the stress from the situation.

The world is changed forever...humanity dangles from a toxic thread, surrounded by deadly, irreversible horrors.

I wish Nuclear energy was traded out completely, ENTIRELY, for something safer.

It'll take years to perfect, so while we work on it we'll have a lot of power surges and power outages and other problem encounters.

I wish to be the ultimate free runner.

At 3/24/14 08:03 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish Nuclear energy was traded out completely, ENTIRELY, for something safer.

Granted, windmills everywhere spark a fascination with dutch culture and you don't have the calves to pull off wooden shoes.

I wish I did have the calves to pull off wooden shoes.

At 3/24/14 08:13 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 3/24/14 08:03 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish Nuclear energy was traded out completely, ENTIRELY, for something safer.

Granted, windmills everywhere spark a fascination with dutch culture and you don't have the calves to pull off wooden shoes.

I wish I did have the calves to pull off wooden shoes.

Granted. The expansion inflated you foot size as well.
I wish I could throw my penis at people whenever I like,
And it would re-appear whenever it touched ground.

I wish someone would corrupt my last wish.

At 3/24/14 08:13 PM, WiiFittoToreinaa wrote: I wish to be the ultimate free runner.

Granted, you run straight off a cliff.

At 3/24/14 10:26 PM, SolXeroEraser wrote: I wish I could throw my penis at people whenever I like,
And it would re-appear whenever it touched ground.

Granted. Having a wank now becomes incredibly annoying.

At 3/24/14 10:35 PM, WiiFittoToreinaa wrote: I wish someone would corrupt my last wish.

Granted, but the post is deleted.

I wish my browser didn't screw up.

At 3/25/14 11:40 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish my browser didn't screw up.

Granted, you gain an exotic, perfect and magical browser unlike anything the world has ever seen, unique to your computer alone.

Unfortunately, though, it eventually becomes Shodan....and its seething hatred for humanity starts with you.

I wish I had a magic ray gun, that when I shoot people with it, it transports them into the world of System Shock 2, and they can only escape the experience of feeling, smelling, suffering injury and all of their sense's complete immersion of this hellish nightmare by defeating the game.

At 3/26/14 06:52 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish I had a magic ray gun, that when I shoot people with it, it transports them into the world of System Shock 2, and they can only escape the experience of feeling, smelling, suffering injury and all of their sense's complete immersion of this hellish nightmare by defeating the game.

Granted. When transported they still have their phones on them and are able to google cheat codes and playthroughs.

I with Crisis on Infinite Earths to become a live action movie series with no characters or dialog removed. I don't care how long it is. And no one involved with Nolan is allowed near it.

At 3/26/14 07:02 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I with Crisis on Infinite Earths to become a live action movie series with no characters or dialog removed. I don't care how long it is. And no one involved with Nolan is allowed near it.

Granted. The special effects are soulless, the fights are always on the verge of being interesting but never quite get there, and the delivery of Hollywood's confusing casting choices are stiff.

When the first of the trilogy is met with wishy-washy reception, it fails to break even with its overbloated budget, and executive producers bow the second and third films out in fear of another failure. Comic book movies reel from the aftershocks of the spectacle for years to come.

I wish I had a healing factor.

I wish I had a healing factor.

Granted. You are now uncircumcised.

I wish I had a photographic memory.