At 6/20/14 02:23 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/20/14 09:47 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I was more pessimistic and cynical. (Trust me, it's fun.)

Granted. You are cursed with a life of being alone and ignored.

I wish for everyone to have anatomically sensible and functional wings connected to their back, with the ease and comfort of just having an extra set of limbs, so that all of humanity was capable of distant, high and powerful flight.

Granted. You fly too high, exit the atmosphere and die.

I wish for Germany to win the Fifa World Cup.

At 6/21/14 01:32 PM, mysticvortex13 wrote: i wish i were supreme ruler of the universe for all eternity.

Granted, when you die, there's total anarchy.

I wish anarchy could work.

At 6/21/14 01:51 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish anarchy could work.

Granted. The United States of America falls into anarchy. It works, but much to the chagrin of everybody living in it... it doesn't take long for everyone to call for a change not long after. Anarchy works for about four months, to the backdrop of nationwide crime spike.

I wish I could visit for one entire year in 1985.

At 6/21/14 03:13 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/21/14 01:51 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish anarchy could work.

Granted. The United States of America falls into anarchy. It works, but much to the chagrin of everybody living in it... it doesn't take long for everyone to call for a change not long after. Anarchy works for about four months, to the backdrop of nationwide crime spike.

I wish I could visit for one entire year in 1985.

Granted, but when you return, you're old.

I wish I got the meaning of that wish right.

At 6/22/14 12:45 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I got the meaning of that wish right.

Granted, and you obsess over it so much that you drive everybody away.

I wish politicians wore the logos of the companies that endorse them, so we know where their political bias leans, and its more honest about exactly HOW money in the government is kinda screwing us.

At 6/28/14 07:40 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish politicians wore the logos of the companies that endorse them, so we know where their political bias leans, and its more honest about exactly HOW money in the government is kinda screwing us.

Granted. The nascar crowd become religious voters. What happens from there is on your head.

I wish for a Mcdonalds playland made with the size and weight support for adult use.

At 6/28/14 07:43 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for a Mcdonalds playland made with the size and weight support for adult use.

Granted. Controversy sweeps the nation as the industrial scale materials build up hazardous and even lethal levels of static discharges upon occupants. After some costly renovations in the wake of the Static Scandal, the heat becomes inhumane for the giant, sweaty man-children that shuffle through its many corridors. With stacking problems of recreational drug use, lawsuits over petty injuries, bullying, and weight management problems, the project eventually becomes unsustainable with insufficient profits to cover the building costs. DZ, the Discovery Zone, spins in its metaphorical grave.

I wish all modern mankind were cured of greed.

At 6/28/14 08:10 PM, 24901miles wrote:
I wish someone at Google headquarters invented a manufacturing process which could reliably extrude a continuous carbon nanotube tonight.

Granted. Production goes so well and so efficiently that the process becomes automated. However, something goes horribly wrong in the lab, maybe even a small mistake, oopsy-poopsy, continuous, unstoppable output and WHOOPS: grey goo apocalypse.

I wish Aliens, fluent with the english language, landed on earth TOMORROW to become our best friends and answering ALL of our questions.

At 6/28/14 08:19 PM, Phobotech wrote:
I wish Aliens, fluent with the english language, landed on earth TOMORROW to become our best friends and answering ALL of our questions.

Granted. All philosophical exploration of our existence ends and we all sit at home watching Mike and Molly.

I wish for a bazooka with which I could freely distribute ham to those in need.

At 6/28/14 08:28 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for a bazooka with which I could freely distribute ham to those in need.

Granted. "Rescue Ham" gains the reputation of one end smelling and tasting like charred rocket fuel and the other end accumulating all kinds of debris in between the firing point and the destination. Including, but not limited to, bugs, leaves, birds, dust, ash, smoke, water vapor/ice, or sometimes being cleaved by power/telephone lines or simply crashing into a solid object. The missile guidance system is level Ham, and is not very accurate.

I wish for the ability to physically dive in and interact with creative properties as if I were there among it as a living, breathing world, that I can hop out of at any time.

At 6/28/14 08:38 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish for the ability to physically dive in and interact with creative properties as if I were there among it as a living, breathing world, that I can hop out of at any time.

Granted, but you like it there so much you never want to hop out again, so you're lost forever.

I wish I could control the weather.

At 6/29/14 09:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could control the weather.

Granted, but you stay inside for the rest of your life and completely forget about it.

I wish I was Batman.

At 6/29/14 09:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could control the weather.

Granted, but you are cursed with the manual manipulation of the weather and the world is made aware of your responsibility. Without you, there can be no rain nor stop of a flood. With every tornado, hurricane, cyclone and typhoon, you are held responsible. Every extreme winter or summer falls to your control, in every region of the world...when the people are told that with your death things would return to the way it was before, your life is in constant danger...yet the world, your weapon.

I wish to have incredible cooking experiences.

At 6/29/14 11:01 AM, SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2 wrote: I wish I was Batman.

Granted, you're a random guy whose name is Batman, otherwise totally unrelated to the superhero.

At 6/29/14 11:01 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish to have incredible cooking experiences.

Granted, they are incredibly bad.

I wish I was a better poster.

At 6/29/14 12:45 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I was a better poster.

Granted, but you have so many posts it consumes your life, not that this website probably hasn't already.

I wish I knew every superlative.

At 6/29/14 05:27 PM, Ericho wrote: I wish I knew every superlative.

Granted, but you always use them completely wrong.

I wish that my next wish would come true and nothing bad would happen.

At 6/29/14 05:40 PM, SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2 wrote:
I wish that my next wish would come true and nothing bad would happen.

Granted, but you no longer have a voice to speak with. You are now muted for the rest of your life, and you are promised that a pure and just wish waits for you...but you must find it. Silently, you begin the quest for your second and final wish using nothing but a handful of cryptic clues and the resources you have at your disposal right now in your life.

I wish for immaculate hair with a significantly better hairline than the one I have now.

At 6/29/14 05:46 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish for immaculate hair with a significantly better hairline than the one I have now.

Granted, but the immaculate hair falls of within seconds of you receiving it, and you have a severe balding problem where even if you try to put on a wig, it will fall apart, and the balding lasts for eternity and beyond.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

At 6/29/14 06:05 PM, SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP2 wrote:
Granted, but the immaculate hair falls of within seconds of you receiving it, and you have a severe balding problem where even if you try to put on a wig, it will fall apart, and the balding lasts for eternity and beyond.

Jokes on you, corruptable genie! I've been shaving my head deliberately ever since high school; I love being bald! Now I'll save a fortune on razors! Ahahaha!!!

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner.

Granted, everyone wants to take a bite of you.

...Seriously, everywhere you go, people are driven into an insatiable cannibalistic frenzy, run for your life.

I wish for humanity to be cured of cancerous mutations forever.

At 6/29/14 06:11 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish for humanity to be cured of cancerous mutations forever.

Granted, but you die of AIDS.

I wish for humanity to be cured of all diseases forever.

At 6/30/14 12:21 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 6/29/14 06:11 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish for humanity to be cured of cancerous mutations forever.

Granted, but you die of AIDS.

I wish for humanity to be cured of all diseases forever.

granted but at the cost of your blood.
i wish i could win the lottery

At 6/30/14 12:48 PM, Chronamut wrote: I wish

Granted.

I wish I could go invisible at will.

At 6/30/14 02:03 PM, Chronamut wrote: alright but your hunger will never end, no matter how much you eat.

I wish for acceptance.

Granted, but people will also hate you.

I wish for Stafffighter to be made out of cheese

At 6/30/14 03:11 PM, Chronamut wrote:
granted but you will be lactose intolerant and be forced to eat Stafffighter.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, but you'll have everything.

I wish for Fred Durst to be a NG mod

At 6/30/14 03:26 PM, Chronamut wrote:

I desire the god of the law to suit it's perspective.

Granted. An all powerful entity of morally neutral law drives humanity to consummate complacency.

I wish for Batman level physical training and also a light saber

At 6/30/14 04:21 PM, Amaranthus wrote:

At 6/30/14 04:16 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 6/30/14 03:26 PM, Chronamut wrote:

I desire the god of the law to suit it's perspective.

Granted. An all powerful entity of morally neutral law drives humanity to consummate complacency.

I wish for Batman level physical training and also a light saber

Granted, you get the training and buy a light saber, but it's so expensive you can no longer afford your training, so you get kicked out. You sell your light saber to prevent yourself from starving to death.

I wish for @CiviLies to be my waifu.

Granted. I live out the rest of my life attending to your every want and need while cooking and cleaning for you. Unfortunately, the rest of my life lasts only a week because I die in a tragic car crash. You become so distraught you turn to help from crack and meth and die in a drug-related stabbing six months later

I wish was chosen to populate a colonized Mars with all of Earth's finest women

At 6/30/14 04:49 PM, Chronamut wrote:

At 6/30/14 04:46 PM, CiviLies wrote:

At 6/30/14 04:21 PM, Amaranthus wrote:

At 6/30/14 04:16 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 6/30/14 03:26 PM, Chronamut wrote:

I desire the god of the law to suit it's perspective.

Granted. An all powerful entity of morally neutral law drives humanity to consummate complacency.

I wish for Batman level physical training and also a light saber

Granted, you get the training and buy a light saber, but it's so expensive you can no longer afford your training, so you get kicked out. You sell your light saber to prevent yourself from starving to death.

I wish for @CiviLies to be my waifu.

Granted. I live out the rest of my life attending to your every want and need while cooking and cleaning for you. Unfortunately, the rest of my life lasts only a week because I die in a tragic car crash. You become so distraught you turn to help from crack and meth and die in a drug-related stabbing six months later

I wish was chosen to populate a colonized Mars with all of Earth's finest women

Granted, but you never stated who was chosen so the person you hate the most was chosen.

#worthit

I wish every person had a delicious flavour when you licked them, and everyone greeted each other by licking them.

Granted. You now live in a society of cannibals. It has become commonplace for people to be attacked at random and torn apart limb for limb. Society can no longer function and communities everywhere fall apart. The entirety of humanity is and for will be no longer the same. Humans are no longer the advanced, social creatures we used to be, and we are now solitary beings that attack mercilessly and savagely without consequence. We've essentially become zombies that haven't in the first place.

At 6/30/14 05:16 PM, CiviLies wrote:
Granted. You now live in a society of cannibals. It has become commonplace for people to be attacked at random and torn apart limb for limb. Society can no longer function and communities everywhere fall apart. The entirety of humanity is and for will be no longer the same. Humans are no longer the advanced, social creatures we used to be, and we are now solitary beings that attack mercilessly and savagely without consequence. We've essentially become zombies that haven't in the first place.

Granted. For not composing a wish, you are trapped in this world of your own creation...the taste of your own flavor is the only thing that soothes you in the night of haunting screams and wet flesh.

I wish I had the ability to effortlessly read people's thoughts like a book and exploit their darkest and deepest fears, insecurities, and weaknesses, while I myself shrouded in mystery and anonymity.

At 6/30/14 05:33 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 6/30/14 05:16 PM, CiviLies wrote:

I wish I had the ability to effortlessly read people's thoughts like a book and exploit their darkest and deepest fears, insecurities, and weaknesses, while I myself shrouded in mystery and anonymity.

granted you are now highly suicidal because of what you saw and heard

I wish that all of existence ended, including ourselves, with our only hope being Big the Cat.