At 4/22/14 03:20 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

I wish I could slap someone without getting in trouble.

Granted, but after each slap you will lose a finger.

I wish I can travel in and out of the blackhole without harm.

At 4/22/14 03:32 PM, 24901miles wrote:

I wish I was a baller.

granted, but you say it wrong in public and then you are killed by cj
i wish you hadn't said that

At 4/22/14 03:37 PM, kazumazkan wrote:
i wish you hadn't said that

Granted, instead he starts typing random words, mentioning a random user and whoops! He somehow accurately spills the beans of kazumazkan's darkest secret in front of everybody.

I wish Neil Degrasse Tyson became Dr. Manhattan.

At 4/22/14 05:40 PM, Phobotech wrote:

At 4/22/14 03:37 PM, kazumazkan wrote:
i wish you hadn't said that

Granted, instead he starts typing random words, mentioning a random user and whoops! He somehow accurately spills the beans of kazumazkan's darkest secret in front of everybody.

I wish Neil Degrasse Tyson became Dr. Manhattan.

Granted, he becomes Dr Manhattan for real and kills you.

I wish to accurately spill the beans of kazumazkan's darkest secret in front of everybody.

At 4/23/14 05:23 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to accurately spill the beans of kazumazkan's darkest secret in front of everybody.

Granted, but it's so awful, you wish you hadn't done it.

I wish the Nostalgia Critic was a fan of both MLP and Pokémon.

At 4/26/14 10:18 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 4/23/14 05:23 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish to accurately spill the beans of kazumazkan's darkest secret in front of everybody.

Granted, but it's so awful, you wish you hadn't done it.

I wish the Nostalgia Critic was a fan of both MLP and Pokémon.

granted,he turns into a no good annoying fat fuck neckbeard.
i wish i would have some cajun mix bean soup with sausage

At 4/26/14 10:24 AM, kazumazkan wrote: i wish i would have some cajun mix bean soup with sausage

Granted, but it's poisoned.

I wish for some tasty food that won't kill me.

At 4/26/14 12:40 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/26/14 10:24 AM, kazumazkan wrote: i wish i would have some cajun mix bean soup with sausage

Granted, but it's poisoned.

I wish for some tasty food that won't kill me.

granted,its made from horse semen
i wish my back pain would go away

At 4/26/14 02:57 PM, kazumazkan wrote:
i wish my back pain would go away

granted. No spine, no pain.

I wish re-makes of movies would be good in their own reguard without dilluting the enjoyability of the origional.

At 4/26/14 03:26 PM, stafffighter wrote:

At 4/26/14 02:57 PM, kazumazkan wrote:
i wish my back pain would go away

granted. No spine, no pain.

I wish re-makes of movies would be good in their own reguard without dilluting the enjoyability of the origional.

Granted, but it makes you forget about the original or call it a ripoff.

I wish the next MLP movie would have the characters as ponies in it.

At 4/27/14 10:09 AM, Ericho wrote: I wish the next MLP movie would have the characters as ponies in it.

Granted, you are one of them.

I wish MLP didn't exist.

At 4/27/14 11:00 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish MLP didn't exist.

granted. my little pony does not exist in reality, other than in the minds of gullible children who have not reached the age of reasoning and the minds of grown-ups whose mental age are 3-12.

but MLP can stand for a lot of things which exist, such as major league productions, master limited partnership, mid-level practitioner. the complete list can be found in wikipedia.

i wish i could move mountains.

At 4/27/14 11:31 AM, i-am-ghey wrote: i wish i could move mountains.

Granted, you can move mountains, but it's still a hard task.

I wish for super strength.

At 4/27/14 01:14 PM, Vinnyy wrote:

At 4/27/14 01:12 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/27/14 11:31 AM, i-am-ghey wrote: i wish i could move mountains.

Granted, you can move mountains, but it's still a hard task.

I wish for super strength.

Granted. You end up gaining massive muscles all over your body. However, your body wasn't adjusted to handle this sudden change and as a result, your whole body rips itself apart.

I wish I had the power of imagination.

Granted, you can imagine everything. Slowly, you drift off into a dream world.

I wish dreams could come true.

At 4/27/14 01:25 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish dreams could come true.

Granted...Everything in dreams are made manifest. Including the nightmares. Take note of your local population...keep track of each other...shits about to get real.

I wish for there to be 7 totems of equal distance to each other spread out around the world.

One represents magic and sorcery, the Totem of Wizards.
One represents The Force and Star Wars technology, the Totem of Jedi.
One represents Element Bending and martial arts, the Totem of Avatars.
One represents Alchemist magic and manipulation, the Totem of Alchemy.
One represents the technology and centuries of knowledge from Star Trek, the Totem of Frontiers.
One represents access to the memories, essence, and souls of everything that has ever died, the Necrototem.
and One represents a bridge to any (and I mean ANY) place, no matter the distance. A teleporting instant transit to anywhere, the Totem of Warps.

All scattered around the world, sticking out of the ground. Immovable. Invulnerable. Impervious to the ravages of time and mankind.

At 5/1/14 12:40 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish for there to be 7 totems of equal distance to each other spread out around the world.

One represents magic and sorcery, the Totem of Wizards.
One represents The Force and Star Wars technology, the Totem of Jedi.
One represents Element Bending and martial arts, the Totem of Avatars.
One represents Alchemist magic and manipulation, the Totem of Alchemy.
One represents the technology and centuries of knowledge from Star Trek, the Totem of Frontiers.
One represents access to the memories, essence, and souls of everything that has ever died, the Necrototem.
and One represents a bridge to any (and I mean ANY) place, no matter the distance. A teleporting instant transit to anywhere, the Totem of Warps.

All scattered around the world, sticking out of the ground. Immovable. Invulnerable. Impervious to the ravages of time and mankind.

Granted, but your totems only represent their stuff, they don't actually do shit. So now you've got some ugly blocks in some places with signs on them about what they represent, but in actuality they serve no purpose at all except to taint the world forever, as they are indestructible.

I wish your Totem of Warps actually worked.

At 5/1/14 02:11 PM, 24901miles wrote:
I wish people would put more effort into corrupting wishes so that their writing and critical thinking skills would improve, resulting in a BBS which looked like it was worth participating in.

Granted.

A very select few indeed improve on their corrupting and writing skills. However, this increase in forum IQ points is too much for 99% of forum users and they are driven away. Due to the dramatic decrease in bbs traffic, it eventually gets shut down as it becomes a waste of bandwidth to the Fulps.

I wish I could do nothing but relax and take it easy for the rest of today.

At 5/1/14 02:27 PM, Plymouth58 wrote:
I wish I could do nothing but relax and take it easy for the rest of today.

Granted. You are entombed in a chamber without light that you cannot escape from...may as well relax and take it easy!

I wish that all of mankind's minds were connected to each other for one day. We know everything that everybody knows, everyone, ever sensation, understand every language, every perspective, as the capacity of our mind's stretch to accommodate our collective memories, academia, and experience imprinted into our own. When the day is done, everything is reverted to normal...our own minds, our own senses...but the memory of the event from that day persists, and the knowledge not easily unlearned, unignorable. The Day of our Singularity.

At 5/1/14 02:57 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish that all of mankind's minds were connected to each other for one day. We know everything that everybody knows, everyone, ever sensation, understand every language, every perspective, as the capacity of our mind's stretch to accommodate our collective memories, academia, and experience imprinted into our own. When the day is done, everything is reverted to normal...our own minds, our own senses...but the memory of the event from that day persists, and the knowledge not easily unlearned, unignorable. The Day of our Singularity.

Granted. Mankind starts World War Five and ends in the destruction of the human race

I wish we had better weather in Ireland

At 5/1/14 02:57 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish that all of mankind's minds were connected to each other for one day. We know everything that everybody knows, everyone, ever sensation, understand every language, every perspective, as the capacity of our mind's stretch to accommodate our collective memories, academia, and experience imprinted into our own. When the day is done, everything is reverted to normal...our own minds, our own senses...but the memory of the event from that day persists, and the knowledge not easily unlearned, unignorable. The Day of our Singularity.

Granted, unfortunately all the pain and suffering in the world outweighs the good nature of human will. No one survives the next day. Dumb down from such a high level of consciousness is like falling from heaven. No single mind can process the experience in such a limited time. People hurt themselves as much as others. War, rebellions, starvation, paranoia, cults, and mass panic covers the world. Perhaps it is the free will that makes the flaw? People are still able to still make decisions based on their limited perceptive, reasoning, and customs. Whatever or not people still have the experience, their still the same, the same human. Too many secrets, too many truths not ready to understand, too much knowledge for any single person can take in their little minds. In a way, falling from such grace, the day of our singularity, is like falling from heaven.

Some of that is speculation, maybe it be paradise, doubt it though. Plus I had to corrupt it. :p

I wish for some super awesome ice cream, and coffee.

At 5/1/14 03:08 PM, Teddiikun wrote: I wish we had better weather in Ireland

Granted, it stops raining for a minute.

At 5/1/14 03:13 PM, Tankdown wrote: I wish for some super awesome ice cream, and coffee.

Granted, you get super awesome ice cream, and super awful coffee.

I wish for some super awesome ice cream and super awesome coffee.

At 5/2/14 09:58 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for some super awesome ice cream and super awesome coffee.

Granted. The taste and experience of this small cup of rare ice cream and this SMALL cup of exotic coffee stretches the boundaries of your tastes to limits you didn't even know you had. Stretched so high are the standards that you have to stop in mid spoonful and mid sip to kind of collect yourself...its really a profound emotional experience for you because this is it...this is the height. No other ice cream will ever taste this good...no other coffee, nay, NO OTHER DRINK could possibly ever top this... sort of like how, as a child, you could get hit with a baseball to the face and thats a solid 10 on the 1/10 scale of pain, but as you grow older, that comparison is diminished with experience.

All foods...all drinks...are reduced to a 0.5 out of the 10 that you experience so briefly...and it is brief...this magic ice cream is quick to melt and warm, where it becomes rather ordinary. The coffee quick to cool and spoil....it was quick. It was beautiful...it has ruined and haunted you for the rest of your life. Nothing ever again comes close...no one will ever be able to relate at the universal SCALE that you do.

I wish that the United States of America's political mechanisms were ran by scientists and scholars instead of lawyers and businessmen.

At 5/2/14 10:52 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish that the United States of America's political mechanisms were ran by scientists and scholars instead of lawyers and businessmen.

Granted. Scientists use graphs to summarize existing policies that work, turn them upside down, and claim it leaves everything unchanged.

I wish the person below me a very enjoyable weekend.

At 5/3/14 02:18 AM, i-am-ghey wrote: I wish the person below me a very enjoyable weekend.

Granted, but whatever happens to me ruins your weekend.

I wish I had free gas.

At 5/3/14 09:45 AM, Ericho wrote:

At 5/3/14 02:18 AM, i-am-ghey wrote: I wish the person below me a very enjoyable weekend.

Granted, but whatever happens to me ruins your weekend.

I wish I had free gas.

Granted, you accidentally set it on fire.

I wish to set something on fire.

At 5/3/14 10:18 AM, Vinnyy wrote: I wish I had superhuman speed.

Granted, you can now go faster than you can look. Soon you realize how annoying (and painful) this can be.

I wish for better eyes.

At 5/3/14 10:43 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for better eyes.

Granted...they're state of the art bionic eyes! Magnification, Heads up Display, built in lighting augmentation, nightvision, infrared, its amazing!

But the extra features CRITICALLY drain its battery life....just running on normal vision, they have a running life of 8 hours, but they take about 12 hours to recharge. In order to recharge, you have to physically pop them out of your eye socket and place them on the charging deck.

8 hours runtime
12 hours recharge time.

You'll have to go parts of your day completely blind, or with only one eye. And if they're broken or lost, they're gone forever because this technology won't be marketed to the general public for the next THIRTY YEARS.

I wish a massive alien space ship crashed somewhere out in the middle of the dessert where it harmed no one...ALL of the alien life forms have either died in chryosleep, or have abandoned the vessel as indicated from numerous missing space pods, ejected long long ago (as indicated by dust and ice buildup on the ports and from within the ship on its journey)...the technology it brings and the data in its stores LEAPS MANKIND'S technological prowess and tech affordability with its abundance of rare materials, by 2,000 years at the rate of our CURRENT technological progress.

At 5/3/14 04:01 PM, Phobotech wrote: I wish a massive alien space ship crashed somewhere out in the middle of the dessert where it harmed no one...ALL of the alien life forms have either died in chryosleep, or have abandoned the vessel as indicated from numerous missing space pods, ejected long long ago (as indicated by dust and ice buildup on the ports and from within the ship on its journey)...the technology it brings and the data in its stores LEAPS MANKIND'S technological prowess and tech affordability with its abundance of rare materials, by 2,000 years at the rate of our CURRENT technological progress.

Granted. The aliens that have ejected long ago somehow survived somewhere else. With their alien technology (the most primitive part of which is now in men's hands) they find out what we're doing to their ship and its contents, and that makes them very angry. Soon they return and make us wish we never found that space ship.

I wish I could write corruptions as good as yours.

At 5/4/14 10:02 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish I could write corruptions as good as yours.

Granted. You become me. All of your memories intact, but its my body, my voice...Somewhere in America roams a clone of me, and its you. None of your family recognizes you...your friends, your pets don't recognize your scent. You stumble to reclaim the identity you once had trapped in a body thats not yours. Writing things, saying things, listening to things that were not your own...alien tendencies that are baffling to you. Urges towards goals you previously had no interest in....you are now bipolar. You are now schizophrenic...not because I'm either of those things, but because the conflict of two separate minds trying to control one person.

I wish that pop culture successfully encouraged children and teens to be smarter and strive for greater, world-bettering goals.

At 5/4/14 05:25 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish that pop culture successfully encouraged children and teens to be smarter and strive for greater, world-bettering goals.

Granted. This shift furthers their hormonal inclination to think they know better than the grownups and everything goes children of the corn within a week.

I wish for a well made Jim Carrey movie to come out once a month.