Any advice would be appreciated. I tried to make my feelings and question rhyme because it feels less embarassing and I can talk about my inner feelings more through poetry. I am 100% serious about this. Also, this is a little graphic so I do not recommend any minors read this. I want advice from an adult who has experience with legitament relationships, not just someone who goes on flings and never settled down for more than a year with someone. I mean, this whole situation is tearing me apart. Here goes nothing-
I have trouble with the chicks, so perhaps i should switch to dicks? I want to feel like someone loves me for who I am, yes...even if they have a penis.
I want to feel loved even though i'm Straight, I just don't want loneliness to be my fate. For a first gay experience I would only allow a facial, i would prefer it not interracial. I'm not racist but I usually don't feel attracted to a black, and this would be even worse in the sack. This is what my first encounter would be like, even though it does not sound like a delight. Even semen would get me believing, that someone who knew me cared, i mean yeah first facial i'll be scared. I don't want it in my eye, but who wants to escape loneliness by getting high? True, this session of love would require me to get a shower and scrub. But they say true love is like a seed, except this one is more like a sexual deed. This seed won't sprout, but at least i won't doubt, that somebody loves me, will make me a cup of tea, tell me to leave while they go pee, and when i ask if i'm their true love, they say we'll see. Don't get me wrong, i like a nice lady, but my chances are below maybe. But if someone will sing me a love song, they will probably have a ding dong, i mean at least it can't go wrong.
Open communication would be needed for a harmless situation.
There are certain conditions, that I won't give any permissions. We all know love in the anus is famous. The problem is love doesn't fit, where there is literally shit. I won't let him destroy my butt, like he's a pilgrim stumbling on an indian hut. I don't care if he gives me a bunch of love cards personally compilated, I won't have my anus annhilated, even if my blood vessels are dialated, i would feel painfully violated. Doesn't matter if it's fancy lube, it just won't happen with a dude, nothing would get me in the right mood, even a restuarant with italian food.
in order to keep dating, I know i would have to progress with the mating. Perhaps I would allow it in my mouth, but he still can't go down south! I don't want him to touch my balls, and then not return my phone calls. If i wanted a hernia exam, i could go to a doctor without that hidden webcam.
I will have to work on this mental block, about loving someone who has a cock.