Be a Supporter!

Household objects' personalities

  • 391 Views
  • 23 Replies
New Topic Respond to this Topic
FairSquare
FairSquare
  • Member since: Sep. 25, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Musician
Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:02 PM Reply

Name a household object and tell us what kind of personality it would have, if it were alive.

Examples:
- The TV would be a horny bastard. He's turned on all the time.

- The fridge just wouldn't give a damn. One cold fucker he is.

- The floor is just too timid. He would just let everyone walk all over him.

- The table.. she's such a slut! Gets laid every day.

- The mirror is such a philosopher. All he does is stand still and reflects.

- The heater would be the pretty, but dumb girl. Only good for being hot.

Get creative!


Example of my singing here

BBS Signature
BumFodder
BumFodder
  • Member since: Jan. 14, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 36
Melancholy
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:02 PM Reply

My router would be a toilet

Jester
Jester
  • Member since: Aug. 29, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 04
Blank Slate
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:03 PM Reply

the fireplace is the harbinger of destruction

Xenomit
Xenomit
  • Member since: Jul. 13, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 12
Audiophile
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:03 PM Reply

Dildo


TAB
"FUCKING LIKE A NINJAAAAAAAA" ~ Yinping
"xenomit is well... xenomit" ~ General consensus

BBS Signature
FairSquare
FairSquare
  • Member since: Sep. 25, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Musician
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:05 PM Reply

At 3/4/13 05:03 PM, Provoke wrote: Lamp and desk are two hard detectives with nothing to lose.....

The lamp would be a really good detective.
Sheds some light on every situation.


Example of my singing here

BBS Signature
Lemonardo
Lemonardo
  • Member since: Sep. 9, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Musician
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:05 PM Reply

My stove is like a chav; it never fucking works.


BBS Signature
FairSquare
FairSquare
  • Member since: Sep. 25, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Musician
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:10 PM Reply

At 3/4/13 05:07 PM, Provoke wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:05 PM, FairSquare wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:03 PM, Provoke wrote: Lamp and desk are two hard detectives with nothing to lose.....
The lamp would be a really good detective.
Sheds some light on every situation.
Desk is the bad cop, he was picked up in the getto so he knows how life is.

Then needle would be the good cop, always trying to mend everything.


Example of my singing here

BBS Signature
BumFodder
BumFodder
  • Member since: Jan. 14, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 36
Melancholy
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:10 PM Reply

At 3/4/13 05:07 PM, Provoke wrote: Desk is the bad cop, he was picked up in the getto so he knows how life is.

Youd be a fan, cool.

Cyberdevil
Cyberdevil
  • Member since: Jan. 17, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 50
Writer
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:15 PM Reply

My closet just won't shut up.

The doorknobs always get turned down.

The freezer ice me.

FairSquare
FairSquare
  • Member since: Sep. 25, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Musician
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:15 PM Reply

At 3/4/13 05:10 PM, BumFodder wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:07 PM, Provoke wrote: Desk is the bad cop, he was picked up in the getto so he knows how life is.
Youd be a fan, cool.

I'm guessing she has some stomach issues too then, since she's always windy


Example of my singing here

BBS Signature
BumFodder
BumFodder
  • Member since: Jan. 14, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 36
Melancholy
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:16 PM Reply

At 3/4/13 05:15 PM, FairSquare wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:10 PM, BumFodder wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:07 PM, Provoke wrote: Desk is the bad cop, he was picked up in the getto so he knows how life is.
Youd be a fan, cool.
I'm guessing she has some stomach issues too then, since she's always windy

She always finds things a breeze though

Mussirus
Mussirus
  • Member since: Nov. 9, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 02
Blank Slate
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:22 PM Reply

At 3/4/13 05:16 PM, Provoke wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:10 PM, FairSquare wrote: Then needle would be the good cop, always trying to mend everything.
Camera's the police chief, always watching to make sure nothing goes wrong.

Vacuum cleaner would be his assistant.. but he's such a suck up

Mussirus
Mussirus
  • Member since: Nov. 9, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 02
Blank Slate
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:31 PM Reply

At 3/4/13 05:24 PM, Provoke wrote:
Camera's the police chief, always watching to make sure nothing goes wrong.
Vacuum cleaner would be his assistant.. but he's such a suck up
I'm outta ideas :/

Photo camera would be the trigger-happy cop, always shooting everybody

KatMaestro
KatMaestro
  • Member since: Dec. 9, 2012
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 10
Blank Slate
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:51 PM Reply

My pillow is the slutsy bitch.

My laptop is a dirty hoho.

My file server computer is like my angry mom.

My toilet is an annoying jerk.

My chair is like someone names Fairsquare.

Cyberdevil
Cyberdevil
  • Member since: Jan. 17, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 50
Writer
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:57 PM Reply

My vacuum cleaner sucks.

Viper
Viper
  • Member since: Jun. 18, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 34
Musician
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 4th, 2013 @ 05:58 PM Reply

My chair gets a lot of ass ._.

and that was literally the only thing I could think of when i saw this thread ._.

Formally known as Viper50
When life gives you lemons...squirt juice in your enemy's eyes!
Not very important but my lastfm. I guess you can click on it if you want.

BBS Signature
Swag-in-a-Bag
Swag-in-a-Bag
  • Member since: Nov. 11, 2011
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 12
Writer
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 5th, 2013 @ 03:39 AM Reply

I want to watch The Brave Little toaster now for nostalgia


Believe what thou Wilt

BBS Signature
Dry-Ice
Dry-Ice
  • Member since: Apr. 9, 2003
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 16
Blank Slate
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 5th, 2013 @ 03:43 AM Reply

At 3/4/13 05:58 PM, Viper50 wrote: My chair gets a lot of ass ._.

Fucking. Best post of 2013

thus far.

BBS Mod, PM me if you have something to report.

BBS Signature
Ejit
Ejit
  • Member since: Feb. 17, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 27
Blank Slate
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 5th, 2013 @ 06:50 AM Reply

Would have preferred this without the puns

I love this


I'm a survivor. We're a dying breed.

BBS Signature
Cyberdevil
Cyberdevil
  • Member since: Jan. 17, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Supporter
Level 50
Writer
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 5th, 2013 @ 07:11 AM Reply

The toast is toast.

The screws get screwed.

The nails get nailed.

The stairs are high.

And you can see right through the window.

Entice
Entice
  • Member since: Jun. 30, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Blank Slate
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 5th, 2013 @ 09:47 AM Reply

My computer is such a lonely nerd, all he does is show me porn and Newgrounds posts all day.

HighWay
HighWay
  • Member since: Aug. 23, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 23
Melancholy
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 5th, 2013 @ 09:50 AM Reply

my window lets me see things from another point of view.

i honestly don't know what i'm doing. I haven't slept in 4 days.


The work, which becomes a new genre itself, will be called...

BBS Signature
MidoriKatsu
MidoriKatsu
  • Member since: Aug. 28, 2011
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 05
Melancholy
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 5th, 2013 @ 10:18 AM Reply

My mop is a slut because it's wet all the time.


I have cancer on my anus. Should I see my gynecologist?

BBS Signature
FairSquare
FairSquare
  • Member since: Sep. 25, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 13
Musician
Response to Household objects' personalities Mar. 5th, 2013 @ 10:19 AM Reply

My calculator is an unfunny, cynical douchebag. But at least i can count on him.


Example of my singing here

BBS Signature