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I got a girl pregnant

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SmartyPants
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:00:42

Your problem, not ours. Maybe if you just kept that dick in your pants, you wouldn't be in this situation. Cheating on her also proves that you are a scumbag. You don't need advice here, you deserve to suffer for your idiotic actions.


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Spedmallet
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:12:29

At 3/4/13 06:09 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote: If i was in his shoes i'd be more worried about the well being of the kid.

I know I am, that's why I'm trying to convince her to abort it


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:13:56

At 3/4/13 06:12 PM, Spedmallet wrote:
I know I am, that's why I'm trying to convince her to abort it

it would be better if you chose adoption otherwise DNA test, also how old are you and whats your income?

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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:38:59

At 3/4/13 04:37 PM, Spedmallet wrote: And as I have said before, I'm looking for suggestions, not hindsight.

I still think what you did was pretty awful, but fine, fair enough.

You're asking for advice but you haven't given a whole lot of information for us to go on. This might be a shot in the dark, but are you sure the girl isn't just flat-out lying? What was her angle when she called you? Was she just notifying you that she was pregnant? Asking for support? Trying to rope you into a relationship/marriage/whatever? I don't know, this kind of thing is unlikely but not unheard of.

Also, what's the timeframe here? How long ago did you have sex? How far along is she claiming to be? Assuming she is actually pregnant, could you reasonably assume that somebody else is the father? Do you know her well enough that you know who those potential fathers might be?

If you suspect that she's lying, then call her bluff, she can't keep it going forever. I still think it's wrong to be keeping secrets like this from your girlfriend, but I don't know the particulars of how your relationship works, so whatever.

If she actually is pregnant and you actually are the father, then there is no hiding this from your girlfriend. You should tell her immediately; the longer you wait, the worse it will get. She will find out one way or another, and you're much better off being honest with her than waiting for her to catch you lying. If she stays with you, you are a very lucky man. If she leaves, well, frankly, who can blame her?

And then, difficult as it is, you kind of have to man up and be supportive. This girl is probably scared shitless, and I know that you are too, but it's worse for her because at the end of the day she can't just cut and run like you can. By all means, keep trying to convince her that abortion or adoption would be better solutions (because they would be), but if she does ultimately keep it, you should be prepared to deal with that, rather than trying to find a way out. Because at that point, there isn't one, and it's not just yourself you need to worry about anymore.

But at this early stage, I'd mostly recommend just meeting with her in person to talk shit out, and to calmly explain to her why you think abortion or adoption are the ways to go. Take it from there.


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Stereocrisis
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:43:15

At 3/4/13 05:25 PM, Zachary wrote: Have you read his other posts?

No.

It ISN'T out of character at all.

Oh.

The rest of your post isn't even worth addressing...

Okay. Sounds good.

RacistBassist
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:45:27

At 3/4/13 04:20 PM, Spedmallet wrote: Well this is where I disagree, it's a dick move I agree but
1. I was drunk
2. There's no ring on it yet. Look, I know this may come off a brash, and it's certainly fucked me over, but until there's a ring on it there's no solid rule of law that says I can't mess around a bit before I settle down. You can disagree if you want but entering a commitment without really experimenting can leave you with an unhappy union; as the high divorce rate nowadays will show you.

But that's besides the point... I'm looking for suggestions not critique.

You're fucking scum. You deserve all the critique you get. Unless you are explicitly in an open relationship or only dating and not "official" there is absolutely zero getting around cheating. Being drunk doesn't make it ok, it only makes you an asshole. Man up, pay the child support.


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:48:09

Don't fuck random bitches especially ones you don't know. Go fuck your girlfriend. Personally, I believe you don't deserve her. You messed up and you deserve whatever is coming. Good luck. Hopefully you learn from this.


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RacistBassist
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:51:41

At 3/4/13 05:38 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: abort or adoption if they are both no's Lawyer up and threaten to sign away your rights and see if you don't have to pay child support, if you are in school with loans and no job you have a pretty good chance.

Uh, that's not what signing away parental rights is. It means you get no custody and all of that shit. You still have to pay child support, it is an entirely separate thing from parental rights. Best case scenario, you can lawyer up and end up paying a smaller amount.


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:57:15

At 3/4/13 06:51 PM, RacistBassist wrote: Uh, that's not what signing away parental rights is. It means you get no custody and all of that shit. You still have to pay child support, it is an entirely separate thing from parental rights. Best case scenario, you can lawyer up and end up paying a smaller amount.

no you can but its the judges decision, if he the father doesn't have the income and signs away his rights he doesn't have to pay.

RacistBassist
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:04:50

At 3/4/13 06:57 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: no you can but its the judges decision, if he the father doesn't have the income and signs away his rights he doesn't have to pay.

That's because they can only take up to a certain percentage of income, at least in my and several other states. His options are either pay up, or to go unemployed forever


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Saen
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:21:15

Buy a coke

Gramiscus
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:27:07

Rejoice, all of you beta boys. Today is your day of vindication.

And so the journey of BroDad begins. Raising a chirrun with the fury of a thousand bassists!!


I go to school to study how high frequency sound waves can heal, ...or KILL.

Gramiscus
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:29:19

P.S.
Excessive prenatal ultrasounds can lead to birth defects. Too many of them can induce spontaneous abortion.

Tell the girl to get an ultrasound scrapbook of your baby. Like a hundred pictures.


I go to school to study how high frequency sound waves can heal, ...or KILL.

Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:32:29

At 3/4/13 07:04 PM, RacistBassist wrote: That's because they can only take up to a certain percentage of income, at least in my and several other states. His options are either pay up, or to go unemployed forever

or go the legal route in the court. have you ever heard of Child support horror stories where they up up to $5-700 a month when the bare minimum is $250-$400, and the bitch just splooges on it on trivial shit. and if he doesn't have the minimum income he shouldn't have to pay otherwise he just goes into debt or doesn't have enough for proper living.

Piemix
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:32:34

All the posts that are saying "You fucked up" or "You're on your own" really aren't helping. Yes, we know, he made a mistake, but all you people are talking about is how much of an asshole he is instead of actually contributing.

I mean, I'll shoot out an idea: ask her if she would want to deal with a child right now and tell her all of this, this nightmare, this crazy dream would go away if she aborts it. If she chooses not to abort it, set it up for adoption and that'll be that and the kid will be in loving owners' hands.

Just really talk with her about that stuff and ask her to keep it a private thing and quiet

T3XT
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:36:59

At 3/4/13 04:52 PM, Lemonardo wrote: I'm listening.

Is that guy in the picture the love child of Daniel Craig and Neil Patrick Harris?

illicit
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:37:10

What can I do to hide this from my girlfriend, and what can I do to possibly convince the other girl to abort the fetus?

you can't and you should'nt

Zachary
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:37:20

At 3/4/13 07:32 PM, Piemix wrote: Just really talk with her about that stuff and ask her to keep it a private thing and quiet

Why should she have to? Why is she not allowed to be excited to have a child? Because the dad had a girlfriend that he (most likely considering what kind of person he seems to be) didn't tell her about? That's not her problem, that's his.

I hope he ends up paying child support because he needs the reality check it seems.


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:43:54

go to the Child Support Enforcement Administrationand all you have to do is apply for a modification and pay next to nothing on Child support if you have to pay.

stick it to the bitch.

RacistBassist
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:47:19

At 3/4/13 07:43 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: stick it to the bitch.

Yeah! Why bother honing up to your mistakes when we can be petty and ruin two peoples lives?


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Luke
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:49:18

At 3/4/13 04:04 PM, Spedmallet wrote: I have been going steady with my girlfriend for roughly two years now; I love her with all my heart

Stop lying to your girlfriend and yourself. If you loved your girlfriend you wouldn't be hooking up with other girls, and if you loved her you wouldn't be able to hide the fact that you cheated on her from her.

Man up about the situation. If you have the balls to knock a girl up, have the balls to face the consequences. Tell your girlfriend you cheated, tell your girlfriend that this other girl is pregnant. If you loved her, you'd realize that she deserves better than to be cheated on and lied to.


Yeah, whatever.
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HomicidialFrog
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:49:21

10/10, the situation OP is in made my day.


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Ignorance is Strength.

Zachary
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:53:24

At 3/4/13 07:43 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: go to the Child Support Enforcement Administrationand all you have to do is apply for a modification and pay next to nothing on Child support if you have to pay.

stick it to the bitch.

What you don't seem to understand is that's not how it works at all. He will have to suffer for "sticking" something to her in the first place.
Also, i've come to the conclusion that this thread is bullshit anyway. Judging by this post he made 2 months back. Everyone can now laugh at the OP for making up a story where he actually interacts with a female.


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SmartyPants
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:57:38

At 3/4/13 07:49 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote: 10/10, the situation OP is in made my day.

Yeah, he banged a girl. Something you will never do. OH SNAP!


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:59:02

At 3/4/13 07:47 PM, RacistBassist wrote:
At 3/4/13 07:43 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: stick it to the bitch.
Yeah! Why bother honing up to your mistakes when we can be petty and ruin two peoples lives?

wouldn't be a problem if they find a great home for the kid if they went through adoption. but she wanted to be a bitch about it.

my friend did this to my her ex. he makes minimum wage and 6K in debt because child support and he she expects $600 a month which is absurdly high when the bare minimum is $250.

HomicidialFrog
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 19:59:33

At 3/4/13 07:57 PM, SmartyPants wrote:
At 3/4/13 07:49 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote:
Yeah, he banged a girl. Something you will never do. OH SNAP!

Oh, you.


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 20:14:10

Kill yourself.
Dumb enough to cheat on gf.
Dumb enough to not use protection.
Dumb enough to not man up and come clean after being caught.

You're a useless waste of space piece of shit.


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Gramiscus
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 20:16:17

At 3/4/13 08:14 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Kill yourself.
Dumb enough to cheat on gf.
Dumb enough to not use protection.
Dumb enough to not man up and come clean after being caught.

You're a useless waste of space piece of shit.

Whoawhoawhoa
are you suggesting that he performs a

POST-NATAL ABORTION?

I got a girl pregnant


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Spedmallet
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 20:23:28

At 3/4/13 06:38 PM, Dr-Worm wrote: You're asking for advice but you haven't given a whole lot of information for us to go on. This might be a shot in the dark, but are you sure the girl isn't just flat-out lying?

You know that shit isn't out of the question

If she actually is pregnant and you actually are the father, then there is no hiding this from your girlfriend. You should tell her immediately; the longer you wait, the worse it will get. She will find out one way or another, and you're much better off being honest with her than waiting for her to catch you lying. If she stays with you, you are a very lucky man. If she leaves, well, frankly, who can blame her?

Well for one I'm definitely waiting to clear the 'is it mine?/is she lying?' scenario before I so much as say anything. But even so I'm really just looking for an alternative other than flat out confessing.

But at this early stage, I'd mostly recommend just meeting with her in person to talk shit out, and to calmly explain to her why you think abortion or adoption are the ways to go. Take it from there.

Thats what I've been thinking with the other girl. I think her family is christian (god another reason I can't be with that girl) which is why she's obstinate about abortion, but I really think the adoption answer is a good choice.

At 3/4/13 07:02 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote: I like how serious you have been so far, and despite it you still manage to make a wise crack in bad taste. This whole thing is like an act to you.

I don't see what you're getting at with 'wise crack', aborting an unwanted child is a much better alternative that say, having it live with a single mother who has a heroin addiction.

At 3/4/13 07:53 PM, Zachary wrote: Also, i've come to the conclusion that this thread is bullshit anyway. Judging by this post he made 2 months back. Everyone can now laugh at the OP for making up a story where he actually interacts with a female.

yeah, admittedly looking online for random hook-ups doesn't end well for guys


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Luke
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 20:46:14

This thread is pointless, what more can you gather from it?
Deal with your shit like a man, we can't fix your problem.


Yeah, whatever.
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