Okay bored person.
I have for you a series of meaningless tasks that will help you out.
I want you to first paint every wall in your house black.
Next, I want you to draw a sexy spider giving birth to millions of eggs.
Now, I want you to get on the phone with the police and order a coffee and a dozen donuts.
Lastly, I need for you to scratch the center of my back. The itch is just out of reach, and soon I fear I might have to start beating myself in the spine with a rusty ice skate just to keep away Mr. Itchy.
Ah, Mr. Itchy. A good man.