When the ear says it's right then it is. Mixing by ear is the best way to go I think.
It helps to compare your mix to other songs when you're done with your mix, to see if it's up to par. If not you'll have to make some adaptations.
When I mix drums in a dance, rock or pop song they too are louder than the other instruments. That's the way to go. But it's just the attack that's louder, and mainly or only the attacks of the accents. That's where the pulse and rhythm of your song comes from. The trails of the percussion instruments should be less loud to not interfere with other important instruments.
What I do is I put a compressor with a slow to medium slow attack on the drum track, and a rather low threshold. This is to keep the attacks of the drums loud, but decrease the volume of the trails.
Because your drums are so loud, much of the higher volume peaks in the song come from the drums. You want to get rid of exeptional high peaks because they bring down the total volume of your song. So after the first compressor I often place a second compressor with a fast attack but a high threshold. This compressor won't do anything unless your drum attack peaks are exceptionally high.