Celestial Bodies

[TheInnerScience]

(Here is a poem I posted for a writing contest a couple months back. Let me know what you think. Also stop by my Writing Portal Petition forum.)

I can see Saturns rings in your eyes,
I can feel the Suns warmth on your thighs.
Sweet, loving stars sparkle upon your brow.
You paralyze me with a smile, and I dont know how.

I can feel your lovely breath blow against my lips.
My heart is a wellspring which fills your sips.
As your soft hand slowly caresses my cheek,
My perception of time becomes so very week.

Does it matter where we are?
Does it really matter how far?

As long as I have you pressed to my chest,
I know at night I will always be able to find rest.
God may make the skies tremble and fall,
But I know you will be my roof and walls.

As our hands intertwine in the absence of light,
My sense of reality has now taken flight.
As we join in this final embrace,
Our souls together sour through space.

[Regularman]

i think this is a poem to a lover expressing his undying love by using the planets as examples. A great poem indeed

[TheInnerScience]

Your pretty much right on the dot. Thank you