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Controlling Girlfriend?

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TomTheJuggler111
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Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 02:37 PM Reply

Yes i am turning to the world of NG for advice....
When in a committed relationship, do you believe it is improper or wrong to have friends of the opposite gender?
In this case, my girlfriend of 5 months who I am very serious with is saying she doesnt feel comfortable with me having female friends, even though they are just friends. I told her I do not feel the need to make new female friends, only to retain the ones I already have that i met before her. Specifically, one of my closest most trusted friends in the world who i have known for 5 years. I see her as a completely non-dateable option, she is like a sister to me, she has never and will never be more than a friend and she feels the same way towards me. Do you think my girlfriend is justified in asking me to cut ties with my friend or is she simply being paranoid?


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BasedBubbus
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 02:44 PM Reply

I can't stand when people cut ties with opposite/same gender friends just because their partner doesn't like it.
Are you seriously that desperate for sex that you would cut contact with a close friend you knew before you met them?


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TomTheJuggler111
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 02:45 PM Reply

At 1/19/13 02:39 PM, Amaranthus wrote: I'm no expert but I wouldn't stop being friends because your girlfriend tells you too.
She's probably paranoid, just tell her that you two are just friends, nothing more.

I have told her that many times, but her reply is "if you're in a committed relationship you shouldn't feel the need to speak to any other girls" she also claims that she would stop speaking to all her male friends if i did this. but i find that hard to believe considering 60% of her friends are male


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Kittykylie
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 02:48 PM Reply

In all honestly id tell her to fuck off bout cutting ties.

She has no right and if shes that paraniod she shouldnt be in a relationship till shes figured why shes like that.(im saying like an ex cheated on her alot, leaving her warey, or that she just likes controling people!)

And this advice is coming from a women, who had been cheated on in past! DOnt let her tell you who you can and cant see!

The day i ever said that to my husband i hope he slaps me.


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TomTheJuggler111
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 02:53 PM Reply

At 1/19/13 02:48 PM, Kittykylie wrote:
She has no right and if shes that paraniod she shouldnt be in a relationship till shes figured why shes like that.(im saying like an ex cheated on her alot, leaving her warey, or that she just likes controling people!)

Her reason for this so she claims is that she was severely bullied in high school by a group of girls and many of her female friends in the past have stabbed her in the back. so she is naturally untrusting of women


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 02:56 PM Reply

Every time that situation arises in a romance/chick flick, the guy realizes his feelings for his female best friend and they end up together. Blame media on her insecurity.


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Kittykylie
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 02:57 PM Reply

At 1/19/13 02:53 PM, TomTheJuggler111 wrote:
At 1/19/13 02:48 PM, Kittykylie wrote:
She has no right and if shes that paraniod she shouldnt be in a relationship till shes figured why shes like that.(im saying like an ex cheated on her alot, leaving her warey, or that she just likes controling people!)
Her reason for this so she claims is that she was severely bullied in high school by a group of girls and many of her female friends in the past have stabbed her in the back. so she is naturally untrusting of women

Im untrusting of women too, my so called ex best friend slept with my ex when i was with him a pregnant with his child.
But i dont tell my husband who he can talk to. ANd i was bullied too. You just rise above it.

Seroiusly dude, she sounds like shes got an excuse for anything you say.

Lets look at it this way :- you break off contact with your best friend, and then weeks/months later this girl dumps you or whatever. Now you have no friends as your best mate wont trust you anymore.

Or you get this gf of yours to meet up with your pal with you and see how she reacts, if she bes a total cow, tell her to go and mature.


I want to kill everybody in the world!
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BasedBubbus
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:02 PM Reply

At 1/19/13 02:56 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Every time that situation arises in a romance/chick flick, the guy realizes his feelings for his female best friend and they end up together. Blame media on her insecurity.

Same thing with every girl who has a friend zoned guy friend.


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HipnikDragomir
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:07 PM Reply

At 1/19/13 02:37 PM, TomTheJuggler111 wrote: When in a committed relationship, do you believe it is improper or wrong to have friends of the opposite gender?

Why the hell not? It's called "friends". if you girlfriend doesn't like it, she has a problem. Convince her that you're not the player type and that she's your fuck-buddy.


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:13 PM Reply

Psychostick - My Clingy Girlfriend

Just play this for her, and have her read the lyrics too. Should put her in her place, trust me works every time.


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BasedBubbus
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:14 PM Reply

At 1/19/13 03:13 PM, Chemich wrote: Psychostick - My Clingy Girlfriend

Just play this for her, and have her read the lyrics too. Should put her in her place, trust me works every time.

whats up with you and these obvious irl situation songs


I'm a single father and a multimillionaire.

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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:16 PM Reply

At 1/19/13 02:37 PM, TomTheJuggler111 wrote: Yes i am turning to the world of NG for advice....
When in a committed relationship, do you believe it is improper or wrong to have friends of the opposite gender?
In this case, my girlfriend of 5 months who I am very serious with is saying she doesnt feel comfortable with me having female friends, even though they are just friends. I told her I do not feel the need to make new female friends, only to retain the ones I already have that i met before her. Specifically, one of my closest most trusted friends in the world who i have known for 5 years. I see her as a completely non-dateable option, she is like a sister to me, she has never and will never be more than a friend and she feels the same way towards me. Do you think my girlfriend is justified in asking me to cut ties with my friend or is she simply being paranoid?

she is being paranoid, redicules, if you truely have feelings for her she should be able to see that and be at ease, if she is tyring to control you, the raltionship isnt worth the energy.

DarkMatter
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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:16 PM Reply

Have the girl dress up as one of your guy friends, she'll never know.


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:25 PM Reply

I love how all the girlfriendless guys are like "Durrrr I wouldn't take that shit from her."

Anyways man if you ask me you guys should really just talk about it. Maybe try explaining that you care about your friends and simply like hanging out in a platonic way. Maybe try encouraging her you are completely committed to dating just her; that you wish she'd just trust you to behave yourself. Maybe try explaining that you're ok with her having male friends because you trust her around them.

If she absolutely won't have it you might just have to pick which one is more important.


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:45 PM Reply

I have some close friends while in a relationship. It is perfectly fine. I'm not about to turn around and have sex with them behind my partner's back, well not unless we invite them for a threeway of course in which case having such friends is a good thing!


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:49 PM Reply

Tell her that she can't prevent you from seeing your friends unless she were to tie you down.

If she really loves you, she'll tie you down and have kinky bondage sex

Profit

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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 03:52 PM Reply

Um....asking you to cut ties? What a bitch. Don't let a 5 month relationship ruin one that has lasted 5 years. Tell her that's a non debatable issue.


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 05:39 PM Reply

She is just paranoid. If she is that uncomfortable to the point that she asks you to cut ties with your friends that happen to be girls, then what kind of trust does she have in you that she doesn't trust the idea of you having friends that are girls? That sort of relationship would be horrible and you should tell your girlfriend how you feel about her and that you should confront her on her trust issues. If she says something like, "Of course I trust you," you should say back, "Obviously you do not if you don't like the fact that I happen to have friends that are girls." Then hopefully she will see how you feel that you feel hurt by the fact she doesn't trust you or your willpower in the commitment of the relationship and understand. If she acts like a bitch and says "It's either me or your friends" then dump the bitch because she is not worth it.

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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 06:11 PM Reply

At 1/19/13 02:37 PM, TomTheJuggler111 wrote: When in a committed relationship, do you believe it is improper or wrong to have friends of the opposite gender?

Of course it is - during my last relationship, I became good friends with my then-girlfriend's best friend. We are still great friends, perhaps even being closer, since my relationship ended, but if I were to start a new relationship, I'd be only too happy to introduce her to my good friends (since I am close friends with both her and her fiancée)

In this case, my girlfriend of 5 months who I am very serious with is saying she doesnt feel comfortable with me having female friends, even though they are just friends.

It's paranoia, but understandably so. Is your close female friend single? Have you considered getting the two of them together and allowing them to talk, without you in the room? If your girlfriend tells your friend to stay the hell away from you, be prepared to make a choice - friend or girlfriend. If I get into a new relationship and was told / asked to stop seeing some of my friends, because she was paranoid about me perhaps cheating on her, I'd say that I've been close friends with her for years and while being single. If anything were likely to happen between us, it would have happened when I were single, but since she wasn't, nothing did.

I told her I do not feel the need to make new female friends, only to retain the ones I already have that i met before her.

That should be enough for her. If not, the meet (I'd suggest neutral ground - invite out for a drink and both of them can enjoy your company... hopefully.

Specifically, one of my closest most trusted friends in the world who i have known for 5 years. I see her as a completely non-dateable option, she is like a sister to me, she has never and will never be more than a friend and she feels the same way towards me.

Nice to have friends like that, isn't it?

Do you think my girlfriend is justified in asking me to cut ties with my friend or is she simply being paranoid?

Paranoid, but it's a salvageable thing. Take it slow, you'll get there.


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 06:13 PM Reply

There's nothing wrong with being friends with the opposite sex.

She's just being insecure and a moron. Tell her to back down and learn to trust you otherwise the relationship won't work.


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 06:19 PM Reply

is your girlfriend seriously that stupid and insecure?

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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 08:12 PM Reply

Yeah, that's stupid. Monopolizing someone's love life is something you do to someone you hate, certainly not someone you care about. You should get cozy with another girl and likewise encourage her to branch out with other guys, too.


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 08:25 PM Reply

Let her get all those emotions out during sex. With a strap on. Then she shouldn't bother you with them anymore.


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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 08:37 PM Reply

All girls are like that. Basically she feels so attached to you and doesn't want to lose you so bad that she views every girl as a slight threat of taking you away from her. She doesn't want to take any chances. My ex was like that and I basically had to tell her to shut the fuck up and let me be friends with who I want, just like I let her have her own guy friends (who she ended up cheating on me with).

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Response to Controlling Girlfriend? Jan. 19th, 2013 @ 10:15 PM Reply

Scopolamine, the shit that Colombians made living on. Good to control anyone, not just your slut.