Okay, so for 12 years, I have been a steady on and off smoker. Eventually in those later years I became a pack a day smoker. Plus I smoked weed and occasionally cigars.
If you don't smoke, I'm happy for you, and you should be proud. Never do it.
Anyway, I was starting to feel like shit. I couldn't go a day without having my daily pack of smokes. I would sit in my bathroom and just chain smoke. I would go outside and light up a cigarette.
When you're a smoker, plus you smoke weed, you have dumb little tricks that don't even work. After you smoke a blunt, joint, bowl, or whatever, you light up a cigarette. It was bad. I couldn't NOT smoke. This has bothered me most of my life. It's probably the biggest thing I have ever overcome.
I'm proud to say that I vowed to quit and with using the patch, and eating beef jerky, I was able to make a pack of cigarettes last 13 days. Plus I gave a couple away to friends. It is successfully my last time smoking. Ever.
My self-esteem is up. My health is returning, along with my sense of taste and smell. I don't stink like an ashtray.
If anyone could not stop, it was me. That's the way the addiction makes you feel.
I am so much happier now. I don't feel like I'm just killing myself everyday anymore. You see, it wasn't about the cigarettes. It was about my self-esteem. I felt like such a depressed piece of crap for so long, I would just keep smoking, not caring the damage it was doing to my body.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this. Something positive. I never thought I would be telling this story. I just figured cancer was my future, and that was that. Could be it still is. I did lots of years worth of damage. But I'm not sick now. The best thing I ever did was just stop.
I'm trying to get in shape now. I exercise everyday and I have breath in my lungs. I feel energized. It's like waking up from a long, long nightmare.
Thanks for reading. I just want to give others hope. It is not impossible. I really did think it was. It's all about state of mind, and really not wanting to feel like crap everyday.