I demand a nerf!

[jhypsyshah]

I Demand a Nerf!

**Demand a Plan - Fantasy MMO Parody Style - Bow Control**

(Market Square)

DWARF:

My people's corpses are buried weekly because of these volatile projectiles. Is there no law and order here anymore?! I demand a nerf!

ELF wearing quiver sits there with a raised eyebrow, frowning.

( Forest )

DRUID:

countless magical creatures are illegal poached by kiters every day, often just for sport and the experience of slaying..

RANGER:

uhhhhhh...

DRUID:

looking to ranger: ..and SOME people have no qualms about poaching SACRED GROVES for their arrows!

RANGER:

Hey we planted those! We did!

( Hospital - int )

HEALER:

19 paladins from our humble order were slaughtered last month by brigands with assault bows.

( Library - int )

WIZARD:

some gifted apprentices never live to complete their first task because of an arrow or bolt sealing their fate. I see no reason for the council not to nerf these devices.

INSANE GAME DEV CONSULTANT:

2,000,000 young noobs were felled last year by just 1 repeating crossbow. , it's just a matter of time..there are kiters as young as 5 years old are equipping their toons with repeating xbows. It's really sad..it's making me look really sad, isn't it?

(Market Sqare)

DWARF:

..and some of these kiters don't like ya going 'round their arrow stockpile that a sane person would call a forest. Try finding a nice axe handle in there and they would just as soon fire a volley on ya and keep it to themselves.

ELF:

just shut up...

DWARF:

bows don't kill people! cowardly little yellow fairies with bows kill people! Demand a nerf!

ELF sighs angrily and notches a bow:

that does it, stumpy.

DWARF hiding behind shield:

Help! I'm being assassinated by a bow nut!

( Forest )

DRUID filled with arrows:

I demand a nerf!

( Market )

DWARF filled with arrows:

I demand a nerf!!

( Castle - ext )

Knight:

I demand a nerf!

( Dungeon )

GOBLIN filled with arrows:

nerf! nerrrf!

( field )

DONKEY running off, filled with arrows:

nerf! nerf!

( last scene )

TEXT: Demand a Nerf!

[YomToxic]

At 1/1/13 05:57 AM, jhypsyshah wrote:

TEXT: Demand a Nerf!

That was hilarious! Now I want to go play a round of dwarf fortress...

[jhypsyshah]

At 1/3/13 10:12 AM, YomToxic wrote:

At 1/1/13 05:57 AM, jhypsyshah wrote:

TEXT: Demand a Nerf!

That was hilarious! Now I want to go play a round of dwarf fortress...

Thank ya. XD

It came out a little rough and short but I tried to leave it so it could kinda apply universally to some different gaming enviornments.

I'm not familiar with Dwarf Fortress but that's interesting. I wiki'd it a while ago and it appears to be rogue-like? I didn't expect that..though I did think it could be a funny background story theme for text-based MUDs, some of which ironically seem to lack ranged combat. I also had the ranger class from DDO in mind.

Maybe 'Bow Control' could make for an amusing (themed) anthology? There's no telling what ya guys would come up with and banning ranged weapons seems like a popular tag these days, I would think there's plenty of room for satyr, nerd rage and other insanity. XD

Feel free to tinker with it or run with the idea, I wouldn't mind seeing what ya come up with.

fun stuff,

-J