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I remember last year I was pretty depressed, felt pretty useless. Then I got another job, and another car, and kind of started rebuilding while trying to maintain my presence at college.
Once I had the job I felt pretty good, and after I had it for awhile things felt normal.
I think it's strange that suicide is such a taboo topic of conversation. Everyone's alive, and everyone's going to die. What difference does it make if it's in 50 minutes or 50 years? None, really. You either enjoy what you have on this planet or you don't.
Personally I've considered suicide before (who hasn't?) but somehow it just doesn't seem like it would solve anything. What really creeps me out is the whole suicide watch thing, though. It's comparable to torture, really. Mild torture, but still comparable.
I was ... put on eyeball status, stripped of belongings, clothing, placed naked in a room with nothing but a plastic mattress on the floor. Watched 24 hours a day by a man or woman. I was on my period but because of my status not allowed to have tampons or underwear. I was very humiliated, degraded. Being on eyeball status with male officers, my depression intensified. I didn't want to be violated any more than I already was, so I put the mattress up against the window. When I did that I was in violation because they couldn't see me. The door was forced open, I was physically restrained in four point restraints - arms, legs spreadeagled, tied to the floor, naked, helmet on head, men and women in the room.
I wonder how many kids have killed themselves because the looming threat of suicide watch prevented them from reaching out to anyone. The instant you bring up suicide, the world turns upside down. Your loved ones are your greatest threats and constantly you live in fear of being stalked and 'protected'.
This is a weird subject for me.
I'm so familiar with it by now, I literally THINK about everyday... However, it's been years since I last CONSIDERED it as a course of action for myself.
I tell mysel that no matter how miserable I am, there are at least a few people alive who would miss me, and those people I can't let down. Because of that, I can't commit suicide.
However, I can never forget the people out there that are miserable enough to try that course of action. I know that it even one person dies, someone, somewhere would grieve for them. No matter how awful a person may seem, there's always someone who cares about them.
Suicide is a huge issue that I can never really forget since I considered it. Even if I know I'm safe, I'm worried for the people who aren't.
Do what you want to your own life, but please, please don't take it.
When you're younger your hormones are going fucking crazy and tend to stabalize as you reach maturity (21). Around the time I turned 19/20 I pretty much snapped out of years of depression.
You've got to look for purpose. If you keep moving and aim even to make the next year 1% better your life will eventually improve.
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At 12/26/12 08:14 PM, Ononymous wrote: I DON'T WANT JESUS TO THROW ME TO THE HELLFIRE LOL
If you don't take anyone with you, he won't.
You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!
On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.
Sig by Decky.
At 12/27/12 01:19 PM, Piggler wrote: We need to conduct a mass suicide for Newgrounds patrons.
Then Newgrounds will be famous!
ok you go first then i'll go next i promise
At 12/27/12 02:22 PM, notYert wrote:At 12/27/12 01:19 PM, Piggler wrote: We need to conduct a mass suicide for Newgrounds patrons.ok you go first then i'll go next i promise
Then Newgrounds will be famous!
aight dawg imma drown myslef in tha toilet an then ill hit u up