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Need some "It was so cold..." jokes

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theamazingjamez
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Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 5th, 2012 @ 11:39 PM Reply

Hey, I just need some clean jokes that generally go "It was so cold, the dog was stuck to the fire hydrant." Try and keep it as clean as possible, and thanks for the help!

Phobotech
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:21 AM Reply

Whenever I'm on the motorcycle and I'm insufficiently dressed for the cold, I heavily breathe this song from inside my helmet.

Might not be a joke, but it's clean, and it's a game I play to keep my mind preoccupied for the ride.


"I sail through a golden nexus. By tanks with armor that glisten. I watch and I play with creations, and what I'm not reading, I listen." <-

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yurgenburgen
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:24 AM Reply

it was so cold she miscarriaged

tox
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:35 AM Reply

it was so cold off he had to have his balls removed from frostbite and hit arm amputated shortly after


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saqwert
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:37 AM Reply

It was so cold he caught hypothermia and died

Boomstick
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:45 AM Reply

It was so cold that Hitler added another Jew to the fire.


I HДVЗИ'T ЭДTЗЙ SLICЭD ЬЯЗДD SIИCЭ I ШДS TЩЗLVЭ

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Phobotech
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:45 AM Reply

My dick is as big as a field mouse in a blizzard.


"I sail through a golden nexus. By tanks with armor that glisten. I watch and I play with creations, and what I'm not reading, I listen." <-

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PonRaulTrollSwag420
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:46 AM Reply

think of ur own jokes u moron


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Phobotech
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:47 AM Reply

At 12/6/12 12:45 AM, Phobotech wrote: My dick is as big as a field mouse in a blizzard.

Wait, I fucked it up...

...Oh well. Am I cool yet, NG? I hopped on the bandwagon of unclean cold jokes, when can I be in the cool club, guys?


"I sail through a golden nexus. By tanks with armor that glisten. I watch and I play with creations, and what I'm not reading, I listen." <-

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funnyman46
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:49 AM Reply

I know it doesn't exactly fit the whole structure of the joke, but I bet you could fit it in.

The Outkast line "colder than a polar bear's toenails"


Yay, more jokes!

GodOfVideoGames
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 12:49 AM Reply

It was so cold that if you asked someone if it were cold they would say "Yeah, it's cold".

Jeffyx
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 02:50 AM Reply

At 12/6/12 12:45 AM, Phobotech wrote: My dick is as big as a field mouse in a blizzard.

You said this same thing in a different thread yesterday. Shame on you.


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Madjasper1
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 10:27 AM Reply

I was so cold my breath turned into snowman.

Super unfunny jokes FTW.


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naronic
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 11:18 AM Reply

Superman is finding it difficult to get his underwear above the bottom of his 3 layers of protective coats


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BucketOfSand
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 11:22 AM Reply

you can't make a funny clean joke


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IronicMaiden
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 04:18 PM Reply

It was so cold that pop music became good. Something that wouldn't happen until hell froze over.


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T3XT
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 05:37 PM Reply

It was so cold, my balls went through reverse puberty.

Scintillating
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 06:06 PM Reply

It was so cold, my nipples were picking up FM radio.

Phobotech
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 06:36 PM Reply

At 12/6/12 02:50 AM, Jeffyx wrote:
At 12/6/12 12:45 AM, Phobotech wrote: My dick is as big as a field mouse in a blizzard.
You said this same thing in a different thread yesterday. Shame on you.

D'oho, that's where you're wrong. The former post was "I'm hung like a field mouse in a blizzard."

...that's why the latter post was followed up with "I messed that one up"


"I sail through a golden nexus. By tanks with armor that glisten. I watch and I play with creations, and what I'm not reading, I listen." <-

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Tremulos
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 07:01 PM Reply

It was so cold that the sun got frozen but the sun made a sick recovery and melted all the ice in the universe but then the melted ice took on the form of a giant melted ice monster that could shoot liquid nitrogen from its mouth which it started shooting everywhere and eventually because of all the liquid nitrogen it became so cold that the sun got frozen but the sun made a sick recovery and melted all the ice in the universe but then the melted ice took on the form of a giant melted ice monster

Shall I continue?


It made more sense in my head.

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vannila-guerilla
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 07:10 PM Reply

It was so cold that Frosty jumped in a furnace.


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froggerfreak
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 07:25 PM Reply

It was so cold I caught on fire.


Valar Morghulis []

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homor
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 07:56 PM Reply

At 12/6/12 12:24 AM, yurgenburgen wrote: it was so cold she miscarriaged

Tim Buckley? Is that you?

Need some &quot;It was so cold...&quot; jokes


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CrazySquirrel124
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 08:04 PM Reply

it was so cold out that i lit a cat on fire


Don't bitch about me greentexting.

Ragnarokia
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 08:09 PM Reply

It was so cold that I didn't do anything productive as my fingers were unable to flex correctly.


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TheHumanNugget
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 08:16 PM Reply

It was so cold the small children began to feel the cold seep away. They felt warm. Perhaps everything was fine, for once everything was...Okay. As the small match flickered, the life left their bodies.


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Lost-Chances
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 08:43 PM Reply

It was so cold I had to murder five homeless people to make a fire to warm myself.


This too will pass.
Memento mori

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MusicalWonders
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 08:44 PM Reply

People actually find these jokes to be funny?

AcetheSuperVillain
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 11:37 PM Reply

At 12/6/12 08:44 PM, MusicalWonders wrote: People actually find these jokes to be funny?

It's so cold that people starting thinking bad jokes were funny.


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MrTaquito
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Response to Need some "It was so cold..." jokes Dec. 6th, 2012 @ 11:44 PM Reply

it was so cold that the mongoose closed the door and said nothing more

wait what?

shut up david schwimmer

cluck 4 fr33 1nternetz pr0n lolzz

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