Need some "It was so cold..." jokes

[theamazingjamez]

Hey, I just need some clean jokes that generally go "It was so cold, the dog was stuck to the fire hydrant." Try and keep it as clean as possible, and thanks for the help!

[Phobotech]

Whenever I'm on the motorcycle and I'm insufficiently dressed for the cold, I heavily breathe this song from inside my helmet.

Might not be a joke, but it's clean, and it's a game I play to keep my mind preoccupied for the ride.

[yurgenburgen]

it was so cold she miscarriaged

[tox]

it was so cold off he had to have his balls removed from frostbite and hit arm amputated shortly after

[saqwert]

It was so cold he caught hypothermia and died

[Boomstick]

It was so cold that Hitler added another Jew to the fire.

[Phobotech]

My dick is as big as a field mouse in a blizzard.

[PonRaulTrollSwag420]

think of ur own jokes u moron

[Phobotech]

At 12/6/12 12:45 AM, Phobotech wrote: My dick is as big as a field mouse in a blizzard.

Wait, I fucked it up...

...Oh well. Am I cool yet, NG? I hopped on the bandwagon of unclean cold jokes, when can I be in the cool club, guys?

[funnyman46]

I know it doesn't exactly fit the whole structure of the joke, but I bet you could fit it in.

The Outkast line "colder than a polar bear's toenails"

[GodOfVideoGames]

It was so cold that if you asked someone if it were cold they would say "Yeah, it's cold".

[Jeffyx]

At 12/6/12 12:45 AM, Phobotech wrote: My dick is as big as a field mouse in a blizzard.

You said this same thing in a different thread yesterday. Shame on you.

[Madjasper1]

I was so cold my breath turned into snowman.

Super unfunny jokes FTW.

[naronic]

Superman is finding it difficult to get his underwear above the bottom of his 3 layers of protective coats

[BucketOfSand]

you can't make a funny clean joke

[Cherry]

It's so cold that I'm having trouble breathing

oh shit i'm going numb

help me

this isn't a joke i'm reHELP ME

AAA

kkkhhhkkkhh

phptpbtpb

bleh

[IronicMaiden]

It was so cold that pop music became good. Something that wouldn't happen until hell froze over.

[T3XT]

It was so cold, my balls went through reverse puberty.

[Scintillating]

It was so cold, my nipples were picking up FM radio.

[Phobotech]

At 12/6/12 02:50 AM, Jeffyx wrote:

At 12/6/12 12:45 AM, Phobotech wrote: My dick is as big as a field mouse in a blizzard.

You said this same thing in a different thread yesterday. Shame on you.

D'oho, that's where you're wrong. The former post was "I'm hung like a field mouse in a blizzard."

...that's why the latter post was followed up with "I messed that one up"

[Tremulos]

It was so cold that the sun got frozen but the sun made a sick recovery and melted all the ice in the universe but then the melted ice took on the form of a giant melted ice monster that could shoot liquid nitrogen from its mouth which it started shooting everywhere and eventually because of all the liquid nitrogen it became so cold that the sun got frozen but the sun made a sick recovery and melted all the ice in the universe but then the melted ice took on the form of a giant melted ice monster

Shall I continue?

[vannila-guerilla]

It was so cold that Frosty jumped in a furnace.

[hecticjon]

it was so cold that my nipples froze off

[froggerfreak]

It was so cold I caught on fire.

[homor]

At 12/6/12 12:24 AM, yurgenburgen wrote: it was so cold she miscarriaged

Tim Buckley? Is that you?

[CrazySquirrel124]

it was so cold out that i lit a cat on fire

[Ragnarokia]

It was so cold that I didn't do anything productive as my fingers were unable to flex correctly.

[TheHumanNugget]

It was so cold the small children began to feel the cold seep away. They felt warm. Perhaps everything was fine, for once everything was...Okay. As the small match flickered, the life left their bodies.

[Lost-Chances]

It was so cold I had to murder five homeless people to make a fire to warm myself.

[MusicalWonders]

People actually find these jokes to be funny?