Mitt Romney's Descent into Madness

[JMHX]

I will be compiling a photojournal of Mitt Romney's gradual descent into madness, and you're welcome to contribute.

Here is a perfect photo to start the series. Here we see the former Republican presidential candidate riding a roller coaster at Disney Land. His eyes are empty, concerned. Is he wondering whether a recount might have worked in Florida? Is he thinking about ways he might have appeared more human to the working class?

Did Mitt take this moment of solitude to reflect on his earliest memories of Disney Land, the sweet moments with his father racking his brain until, driven to madness, he lets out a bestial roar?

[JMHX]

Here we see Mitt Romney challenging Big Thunder Mountain. Does the endless loop of the roller coaster make him think about Colorado and New Mexico? Does the very westernness of the ride harken back to a time of light government regulation, when men wore hats and stood up for what was right? A time before Obamacare and dependence on government?

Does the train make him think of the role government has played in partnering with private industry to construct the truly grand projects of American history? As the roller coaster turns the corner, does Mitt introduce himself anew to each family that sits near him, riding day and night, hours on end, staring blankly into the darkness of his soul and wondering if, perhaps, this is the way to Galt's Gulch?

[JMHX]

And here we have Willard M. Romney at CostCo, purchasing a basket of entropy. Towels and toilet paper, peanuts, assorted sundry snacks and massive pallets of bottled water, all at a grand discount, saving as much as possible for his next presidential campaign.

Why does he hide behind the stylish sunglasses and that slightly-too-small baseball cap? Did he imagine this made him look natural, incognito, a ghost among the CostCo shoppers? Does he think he's blending in? As Mitt descends into insanity he picks up a toy car and throws it into the cart, tears welling in his eyes. Made in China, the box says. China. His eternal and unflinching enemy. Mitt pulls down the bill of his cap until it cuts off circulation to his brain. Underneath, his hair is unaffected.

What is Mitt going to do with all those towels?

[JMHX]

Does Mitt get hungry? YES. And when he gets hungry, Willard puts on his best khaki shorts and wanders to the Wal Mart to procure his favorite snack - two boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios. Does he think about how his choice of breakfast cereal parallels the favorite food of The Wire's Omar Little, a homosexual gangster who nevertheless remains one of television's most popular anti-heroes?

When Mitt goes to the checkout with his two boxes of cereal, does he offer to pay with a no-longer-circulating $500 bill, bearing the face of President Grover Cleveland, another man unappreciated in his day? Does Mitt Romney only go to the store to purchase Honey Nut Cheerios? Does Mitt wonder as he stands in line whether Barack Obama is also, at that very moment, eating Honey Nut Cheerios in the White House?

[adrshepard]

Post that shit in General, yo.

[JMHX]

At 12/4/12 03:48 PM, adrshepard wrote: Post that shit in General, yo.

THIS IS POLITICAL AS FUCK BRO.

Here is Mitt Romney in a full suit dining on some fine McDonalds. Look at his face. What is he thinking? He remembers the days when a man dressed in a suit to get his McFlurry. God, Mitt must wonder, it's been so long since I had the chance to enjoy some beef particulate matter and strained, mechanically-separated chicken. I hope the checkout lady doesn't ask me to shake hands or anything. I wonder what Obama's eating right now.

Mitt is keeping his thoughts inside, though. He shares with no man. He requests no onions on his double cheeseburger. Also, no meat, cheese, or bun. He'll have nothing, thanks. Just a cup of water, no ice. This is how it should be, Mitt thinks to himself. We should all be wearing suits to McDonalds. Forever.

[adrshepard]

At 12/4/12 04:10 PM, JMHX wrote:

At 12/4/12 03:48 PM, adrshepard wrote: Post that shit in General, yo.

THIS IS POLITICAL AS FUCK BRO.

Yea, but it's ignorant, tho. All it is's you running your mouth, thinkin you is all clevs and shit, yet you got nothin to say.

[JMHX]

At 12/4/12 04:55 PM, adrshepard wrote:

At 12/4/12 04:10 PM, JMHX wrote:

At 12/4/12 03:48 PM, adrshepard wrote: Post that shit in General, yo.

THIS IS POLITICAL AS FUCK BRO.

Yea, but it's ignorant, tho. All it is's you running your mouth, thinkin you is all clevs and shit, yet you got nothin to say.

This is the news America needs.

[Warforger]

I was watching an interview of Romney back in 2006 when he was finishing his last year as governor of Mass. He was actually a really great guy, certainly someone who had gone through alot. Fastforward 6 more years and he's criticizing the President over an embassy attack before anything had even happened. Man campaigning really kills you. I'm just thankful he's not one of those Sarah Palin type Tea party Republicans who constantly complain about how the government sucks yet have never held a job outside of the government. Unfortunately his running mate was.

[Idiot-Finder]

The thread would have been much more popular in the General forum. Besides, I really don't think this thread fits in the political section, maybe in 2003-05 when it was really bad but still.