I'll list my top ten holiday destinations as the experienced globetrotter that I am. I'm surprised that you managed to miss so many of the most radical, in demand destination of TODAY.
10. The BEACH
As well as being a totally radical gigantic sandpit for those that bring a bucket and spade, the Beach also features some totally excellent attractions. Such as water, lots of water. It is salt water though, so don't forget to bring your own! A great destination for fun, SWIMMING, and breaking up with that sour bitch of a girlfriend Stephenie.
Woah, who could forget the residence of yourself? Perfect for a long day of relaxing after you broke up with Stephenie! Has videogames AND A- wait what the fuck is this door locked? I didn't lock this door... Oh that bitch. STEPHENIE DAMN IT LET ME IN. Fuckin...
8. The MALL
I know what you're thinking - "The Mall? I go there everyday! Why is this on the list?", well, you two-bit Internet surfing motherfucker, this particular mall has something special; a PAWN shop, which is absolutely perfect for acts of petty revenge. Let's see how much we can manage to get for Stephenie's dead grandmother's prized ring. A cool 200 dollars, RADICAL.
7. The HARDWARE STORE
Why the fuck wasn't this in the Mall? I had to drive halfway across town just to fucking... Whatever I want a metal pipe and that's it. Thanks. Fucker.
6. STEPHENIE'S HOUSE
STEPHENIE YOU BITCH I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO LOCKED MY DOOR- oh who's this? Your new mantoy? Jesus Christ, Stephenie, it's been 6 hours! No fuck YOU! You can't even keep your legs closed for that - oh, you wanna go, huh? No, no, you don't GET to back down, I'm going to kick your ass! Uh! Argh, stay still! Oh, fuck, shit, Mary's tucked balls on a Sunday afternoon.
Is he... Is he gonna be alright? That's a lot of blood... From his head. Someone... Someone call 000? Wait, what do you mean he was your brother?
5 - 3 The JUDICIAL SYSTEM
I... I don't really want to talk about it.
2. A HIDDEN TUNNEL
Holy crap, you mean this was under here the whole time? Nah man, I'm not gonna rat you out, I can't stand another minute in this place. I really fucking hope they're ain't no pigs waiting for us on the other side of this tunnel. Oh, just your uncle, huh? And his brother? And they're both 250 pounds, that's interesting.
Okay, the suspense is killing me, what am I going to have to... Oh. Well, I'm gonna need a lot of Vaseline.