Congress explores haunted house

[politicaljenkin]

LAUREL, MARYLAND -- Sources confirmed last Friday, while the entire United States Congress was heading towards D.C to conduct a hearing on Medicare vouchers, the bus broke down in a spooky forest in an undisclosed rural area. Senator Coats (R-GA) reportedly walked a mile up the deserted road looking for help while the rest of Congress stayed with the bus. After a few minutes, he came running back down the road claiming there was a house that "looked abandoned and we should use it."

"It was a good idea at the time," said Rep. Berkley (D-Nev), "it was starting to rain so we weren't left with much choices except a crowded bus!"

Speaker of the House John Boehner led the 112th Congress to the haunted house, whom all reported feeling a weird "vibe." After entering the run-down, beat up house, the Senate agreed to stay upstairs and the House of Representatives offered to sleep downstairs. There were some disputes over who got which room, but they were quickly settled.

While Sen. Boxer (D-Cali) was showering, she claimed of feeling like she was being watched, "I was the only one in the bathroom but this whole time, I was too nervous to look into the bathroom mirror across from me, I just get freaked out over things like that."

After Sen. Boxer returned to her bedroom with roommates Senator Snowe (R-Maine) and Senator Collins (R-Maine), they claimed to have seen a "man" standing in the corner.

"We all squealed when we saw it, we just felt vulnerable," said Senator Snowe, who was shaking.

Downstairs, the House of Representatives did not have much pleasant experiences either. Sources said that Rep. McKinley (R-WV) was in the kitchen when he heard footsteps approach him from behind. He turned around only to see nothing there. Representatives Welch (D-Vermont) and Carter (R-Texas) claimed to have heard voices telling them "Death is coming."

The straw broke the Camel's back when former House speaker, Nancy Pelosi and Vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan claimed to have saw a little pale girl crawling on all four legs to them, with her shin sticking out of her left leg.

"When they [Pelosi and Ryan] came back, they were shaking terribly and told us we had to get the hell out," said Rep. Barney Frank, former homosexual and Chairman of the Financial Services Committee.

The U.S Congress ran out of the haunted house as the paranormal events picked up, with pots and pans being thrown around and voices becoming louder.

"I don't care if we had to sleep outside, as long as we are not in that dreaded house!" said a relieved Chuck Schumer.

Afterwards, journalists claim the U.S Congress was in a deadlock, with Republicans wanting to burn the house down and Democrats wanting to keep it up.

[Crazywill]

This sounds like an Onion Article.

[Fluttershy]

I actually believed it all though until Ryan was mentioned.

[Complete]

riveting...

[Ganon-Dorf]

At 10/12/12 05:03 PM, Crazywill wrote: This sounds like an Onion Article.

This.

[Jeffyx]

Seems legit. You're first post and no link.