At 10/4/12 05:49 PM, Artist-Lost wrote:
Since the posting style was changed, the entire chapter is posted so please feel free to comment. For those of you who downloaded within the first 2-3 minutes you may have received an extra 50 some odd pages of a previous draft that was written in 3rd person which will be changed dramatically in the rewrite.
One thing i noticed is you really lay the history on pretty thick right away. It's also very psychoanalytical, in the sense that you focus on this soldier's thoughts a lot. I want to read what others think so I wont "color the waters."
But, not sure if you care about the paper as far as editing ( i realize it can be annoying if ppl focus on grammar) but I did see quite a few errors as I read it that would need to be fixed if you were to publish this seriously.
anyway, I'd like to read more. btw, I'm not sure if the first person approach works for me also.