Wrote a sonnet about romantic inaction. Not sure why I wrote it except that I'm in this weird funk where, while I can pick up a woman fairly easily, I'm wallowing in my loneliness. I'm not sure what it is. I have a lot on my plate, a lot of things I want to do for myself. Despite meeting a couple of interesting women dating isn't a priority right now. I think I might be having a commitment issue or some such and am sabotaging myself to avoid having to face it. That sounds kind o' right. I'm very selfish, and I've already lost three long term relationships, I don't know that I want to go through that again. It's so much more important I remain focused considering I'm trying to write a novel and I'm already 10k+ words behind my goal.
Anyway, it feels nice to try to get that feeling written down. I chose a sonnet because that's my default poem-mode, but the form is pretty flawed. The meter and rhyme are off. I'm trying something a bit different than what I'm used to. I cut out a lot of conjunctions and meaningless language, and used meter and partial rhymes to supplement shortcomings in structure.
I recognize my faults.
I know right now I'm not enough;
I cannot help my thoughts.
After we met I knew
I'd never be so cool.
I saw fire in your eyes that day;
I struggled like a fool.
I fell too hard.
You must have heard my beating heart.
You must have felt the ground shiver.
You must have seen the spark.
But I won't try, I won't plead, silence is my means.
And you'll pretend you don't see, always beyond reach.
I spent the last two days tinkering with this. The first stanza feels the most powerful, the most real. I tried to repeat the feat for the rest but I don't feel it's quite as expressive. The last couplet, and the last three words, I like too. Any advice, critique, recommendations; much appreciated. I've never really seen myself as a poet, but every so often I find myself writing something. I still can't figure out why.