Most (I think all, including mine) of the stories suffered from lack of development and narrative structure. A lot of them had great writing and strong language, but I felt no one capitalized on it.
MWC'12 October: Horrorween
1. XXxFIRELORDzXz: "DAKOTA"
Very weak and undeveloped. Lacking in almost all areas with ineffective narration. The entire story is told to the readerâEU¦
2. Celx-Requin: "Petite Mort"
Very strong, descriptive, cringe-worthy language (compliment). Suffers from undeveloped narrative structure and pacing issues. Little characterization and plot .
3. nbomb: "Forsaken hopes: The City of the Dead"
Development, development, development. Too short and undeveloped to the point where it lacks any literary merit.
4. jennaskook: "White Doves"
A lot of imagery and colorful language. Unfortunately there is very little action and pacing to advance the plot. Nothing too bad, or good.
5. HiryuGouki: "The House that Belongs to Him"
I'm not a fan of creepy pasta. That being said, there are no complaints on my end. It's unnerving at times but mostly it is silly and even inane. Consistent in its mediocre quality, but I think that's a result of creepy pasta as a genre.
6. depes7448: Untitled
Very strong language, and very descriptive. But, it is never put to use. What's the point of everything? There is a dark atmosphere throughout, with a feeling of helplessness, but you never capitalize on the tension or suspense. This is called torture porn, I think. Porn can be artistic, but I've never seen one that was. Ha ha?
7. RapeMuffin: Untitled
Easily the most "finished" and presentable of the entries. However, it is horribly cliched. I don't consider myself a huge fan of zombie narratives, but I've seen everything here; it's very "28 Days Later" and "I Am Legend." I've always been a stalwart against cliches, so I am being a little unfair, but the rest comes down to the rest of the narrative, which I felt I had to dig to find. There is an attempt at a romance, but it is never explained, other than they are both researchers (I am a fan of refrains, and "Honey..." worked quite well). I feel that too much time was divvied towards the exposition/flashback, and the rest of the narrative feels incomplete, despite the pretty solid description and action.
8. starwarsjunkie: Untitled
Again, a lot of good description and imagery. Also, a very creative depiction of the Reaper. Again, not much capitalization. It's not really my cup of tea, so it felt like it was dragging on; I felt like the Reaper was lecturing Oswyn. Does he really have time to explain all of that to Oswyn? Also, I think he made the Reaper too badass and overplayed the fatalistic thematic idea, because it doesn't leave any more room for plot to advance. Other than that, super solid throughout.
9. Labaraxadores: "Long live the Klan!"
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that the lack of development was because of time factors. I think you know what you need to work on.
10. 4urentertainment: "Kitty"
Again, solid throughout. Very nice description and good pacing. I thought this story had the most suspense, but I felt the ending was too abrupt, like part 2 was going to follow immediately. So, I felt like not all of the suspense was cashed in at the end; I think because the narration is too casual. Also, where did he run? Was it not completely dark?
11. Zombie445: "Ornithophobia"
Why did I enjoy this story so much? Too much clumsy dialogue that really interrupted the narrative, as well as too much telling. The plot doesn't really make sense but I liked the absurdity. I did not like the characters; they felt too one-dimensional, although they were pretty funny. Part 3, I thought, was pretty damn good. If only the entire story was written like that.
12. Roxxar: "Untitled"
Again, I will give him the benefit of the doubt regarding the word count as to why this story was so haphazard. The three main problems are narrative structure, presentation, and plot. You have to give reasons for the plot to continue. You have the MacGuffin, I guess (cop+case) but there was no exposition or development. Then again, you have to deal with characterization and conflict, but again, I will give the benefit of the doubt. Also, the part when that guy's chest exploded was so crazy! If you could have made it significant, that would have been sweet.