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Buying my 1st hooker

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DevinArcane
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Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 19:03:18 Reply

What's up, NG. Well, it seems next Wednesday is my big day. I will receive my paycheck, cash it, and then proceed to spend a chunk of it on prostitution. I've never done this before, I'm quite excited would really wish not to screw this up, as pay-per-sex is a venture I hope to embark on for the (un)forseeable future. Are there any tips and tricks that you guys can help me out with to make sure this goes as swimmingly as possible?


My power is the only power.

wreckr
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 19:05:24 Reply

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool!

No glove, no love!.

Cover your stump before you hump!

Don't be silly, protect your willy!

Don't be a loner, cover your boner!

Don't make a mistake, cover your snake!

That's all I got.

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DevinArcane
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 19:08:43 Reply

At 9/21/12 07:07 PM, TheCrimsonWidow wrote: I know a perfectly good male prostitute for you, they call him the tower of power.....

Only hetero sex for me, man.


My power is the only power.

Painbringer
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 19:18:34 Reply

You can only rent hookers.

Unless you're a pimp who can own hookers and get paid for it.
DevinArcane
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 19:25:16 Reply

At 9/21/12 07:18 PM, Painbringer wrote: You can only rent hookers.

Unless you're a pimp who can own hookers and get paid for it.

Truth.


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JosephStarr
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 21:24:33 Reply

At 9/21/12 07:03 PM, DevinArcane wrote: What's up, NG. Well, it seems next Wednesday is my big day. I will receive my paycheck, cash it, and then proceed.........

Let's just say that the hotter the hooker is means the more she gets screwed thus multiplying the chances of her having an std, or in other words just go for the ugly one thats not the most ugly and bring a large paper bag.


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Slint
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 21:35:03 Reply

Enjoy your AIDS, gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, etc.


Pretend not to care about anything, but be bothered by everything.
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JosephStarr
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 22:06:34 Reply

At 9/21/12 09:35 PM, Slint wrote: Enjoy your AIDS, gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, etc.

also this.


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koopahermit
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 22:12:25 Reply

I would never get a hooker. It's like wearing a pair of underwear that's been used by 15 other guys.


I am hilarious and you will quote everything I say.
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TheTrueZippy
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 22:45:48 Reply

I would never be this desperate.

If you're around 18 years old, either fuck an older woman willing to cheat on her husband or who is divorced or a younger girl from high school.

LittleWashu
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-21 22:59:00 Reply

So you are going to buy a hooker? Wow dude I hope you have a good pay check, because you are going to have to feed it, clean after it, but it new clothes, and lord forbid she is a high maintenance hooker.

ClearlyConfused
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 04:35:37 Reply

I'd use a condom, first of all.

Second, here is a list of all the things not to do:
Eat the pussy, eat the ass hole, kiss, drink any kind of bodily fluid from said whore, share drink, share any food, share anything, suck toes, suck tits (only if you have properly inspected them for abrasions is it ok), leave wallet in a hidden place, don't try kinky shit. Also, make sure you don't have any cuts or wounds... Some fluid or blood (depending on how you fuck) may get into your wound/cut and you are now a proud member of the HIV/AIDs club.

She knows that all she is, is a walking house for dick; treat it as that. Just fuck her and tell her to GTFO. Don't get all personal with her, shes a slut. She has had it beat into her that she is just a cock rest.

And last but not least: CUM ALL OVER HER!


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ICY-HURR
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 04:52:51 Reply

I would recommend you not go through with this. Supporting prostitution is disgusting but if I can't change your mind... Have fun and think with your brain not your dick head. Stay safe. She will most likely use the money on drugs.


Check me out!
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Sensationalism
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 11:59:47 Reply

At 9/22/12 04:35 AM, ClearlyConfused wrote: I'd use a condom, first of all.

Second, here is a list of all the things not to do:

How the heck is this better than doing a woman for free and getting to do anything/everything you want with her?


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wreckr
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 12:03:21 Reply

At 9/22/12 11:59 AM, Sensationalism wrote:
At 9/22/12 04:35 AM, ClearlyConfused wrote: I'd use a condom, first of all.

Second, here is a list of all the things not to do:
How the heck is this better than doing a woman for free and getting to do anything/everything you want with her?

It's not.


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DevinArcane
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 14:30:48 Reply

At 9/22/12 04:35 AM, ClearlyConfused wrote: I'd use a condom, first of all.

*claps* That was amazingly informative.


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Ragnarokia
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 14:38:29 Reply

If you are going to hire a prostitutes services go to a state where it is legal and they have legit brothels. Illegal prostitutes tend to be treated like shit, are disease ridden, have a crap life and you will find very little enjoyment with them. Now legal prostitues on the other hand are very good quality, they are free of all STDs, they are their own boss, they work in a nice place, they have a good quality life and they truly enjoy their job and can be very pleasurable.

Go get a legal prostitute in a legit high class brothel and you are in for a good experience.


When this post hits 88 mph, you're going to see some serious friendship.
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II2none
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 14:56:02 Reply

At 9/22/12 02:30 PM, DevinArcane wrote:
At 9/22/12 04:35 AM, ClearlyConfused wrote: I'd use a condom, first of all.
*claps* That was amazingly informative.

you know you can do this online/ over the phone and the best part is it's legal. But the deed is done so I'd find a way to make this look sexy.

Buying my 1st hooker


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Razz
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 15:55:31 Reply

There are a lot more cops on the internet than an average man (or woman, for that matter) would realize. Everywhere. And yes, they're most of the "hookers" you would find on the internet. If you're going to make a stupid decision, watch out for yourself.


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Entice
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 16:17:40 Reply

Lol are you a virgin?

Centurion-Ryan
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 16:22:06 Reply

Cop here, my superiors have been informed. Everyone please leave the thread.

I hope you like jail, OP.


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kanef
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 16:33:55 Reply

ugly bitches mmh yeah back it up on those ugly bitches.

so FUCKING ugly. what ARe you..... DOINF?

ńęwgróuńdśęś ręśidęńt pątrićiąń

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Timmy
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 17:05:32 Reply

That's....a shame.

Also illegal (unless you're in Vegas or some other country that allows it).


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Razz
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 18:28:30 Reply

At 9/22/12 05:05 PM, Timmy wrote: That's....a shame.

Also illegal (unless you're in Vegas or some other country that allows it).

Vegas hasn't allowed it for years. You, sir, need to watch TV more often.


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Suprememessage
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 20:36:19 Reply

I don't have any particular tips or tricks considering prositution is illegal here.

Elfer
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 21:00:30 Reply

At 9/21/12 07:18 PM, Painbringer wrote: You can only rent hookers.

Unless you're a pimp who can own hookers and get paid for it.

This is why people should start setting up some time share/co-op systems. Why let a bunch of pimps control the means of production?

Magical-Zorse
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Response to Buying my 1st hooker 2012-09-22 22:21:43 Reply

You should wait until they have a sale


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