At an Impasse Regarding Direction

[ThadanTheUnliving]

As the title suggests, the development of my fantasy series is going well, but once again there is a conflict between trying to keep the story I want to tell which would be easiest for me to tell (in arcs) and what I may turn it into (more of a single arc storyline with a variety of side plots). I feel the latter would be easiest for me since I can keep interest while still moving along the main story. However, the crucial aspect for this to work is something I cannot find a way to implement.

Before we begin, here's the summary for the prelude of the main story called "Awakening".

In âEUoeAwakeningâEU, Romau thought he knew the price of his own soul until it was taken from him. To achieve the coveted status amongst the Asdan Templars, Romau and his most trusted friends journey into a townâEUTMs famous mana crystal (âEUoeanyrâEU) mine which is possessed by a demon. Romau has long desired the position, having been born from nothing and worked to the bone to achieve his ideal of perfection and sees eradicating the demon as a means to prosperity. However, underestimating the power of the weakened demon costs them dearly as RomauâEUTMs friends die one by one to its godlike power. To save his best friend Alder, Romau willingly offers his mind as a vessel for the Archdemon Marasiel known as âEUoeThe DevilâEUTMs SwordâEU. With famed exorcist Enlen Druesttur coming with the famed Asdan Templars to investigate and kill him and the âEUoepossessedâEU townsfolk, Romau risks everything to purge the Archdemon: his success, the wellbeing of his lover, and even his very identity.

The main story ("Wrath of the Blood Prince") is still in development, but it focuses on Romau's path of vengeance against the seven targets responsible for the massacre, who are supposed to be modeled after the Seven Deadly Sins (the exorcist listed as acedia, an uncommon sin not listed in the official seven).

The problem is implementing that concept.

The immediate solution is having the remaining six targets be the Templars, though I desire them to be spread out the main continent. Another is some sort of council amongst the church which agrees to send a platoon to kill Romau. I was wondering if there was anyway you guys can think of to keep the "multiple arcs" story in place because it is something I feel most confident with. Your thoughts on the matter would be most helpful.

[ThadanTheUnliving]

I apologize for the double post, but I thought of something, though I have reservations.

There is one possibility I can think of, though it would kind of plunge Romau from kind of an anti-hero with redeemable qualities to him becoming a monster. There are nine planned characters for the prelude, and I was thinking the remaining seven become his targets, due to their perceived betrayal "confirmed" by a traitor to him and the exorcist himself.

Here is the character summaries for those interested. They are incomplete:
âEUoeAwakeningâEU and âEUoeWrath of the Blood PrinceâEU Character Summaries

Romau DrayâEUTMl:
The main character of âEUoeAwakeningâEU and âEUoeWrath of the Blood PrinceâEU. A close minded and petty perfectionist, who desires nothing more than to achieve a position amongst the Asdan Templars which he deems âEUoethe highest form of perfectionâEU. Loves Kayrra dearly.

Aldemos Kinkel:
RomauâEUTMs best friend who is a hyperactive and impulsive escapist who sees joining the Asdan Templars as a means to bring his ideal world into fruition. Bonded with Romau during childhood and saw each other as escapes from their tumultuous childhoods. Obsessively in love with Kayrra and views her as part of his ideal world.

Kayrra Rothio:
RomauâEUTMs half-elven lover and love interest of Aldemos, she is a giving and self-denying altruist. Desires to use her knowledge of the arcane, agriculture, and trade to bring a better world for those in poverty., a pain she knows all too well. Was drawn to Romau when she saw him practicing calligraphy and viewed it as âEUoeartisticâEU, fell in love when she saw the true Romau that was dormant inside his cold exterior. In exchange, Romau gives her the love she desires most.

Chani Engwar:
The academyâEUTMs weapon expert and strictest teacher. Teaches the main characters of âEUoeAwakeningâEU. A talented, intellectual truth-seeker, she desires to secure a living for her students by imparting them with the knowledge to succeed. Due to her misuse drugs, immaturity, and misguidance as a child, she lost touch with reality and doesnâEUTMt realize it. She may see herself as having lived up to her potential - but the rest of the world thinks she missed the boat.

EtâEUTMther Klein:
KayrraâEUTMs skeptic best friend, dependent, and sarcastic fanatic, she desires a relationship with Aldemos and be free from her forced position as a priestess and pursue her passion for the arcane. Lacks faith in herself, others, and the world. She's driven by the fear that she won't be able to handle all the dangers present in the universe and sees practicing the arcane as a way to combat this fear.

Iona Nalnorm:
A good friend of Aldemos, EtâEUTMther, and Kayrra, she is popular amongst the students and staff for being a talented peacemaker and her raw talent in the arcane craft. A peaceful and passive dreamer, she hides the incorrect belief that it's okay to put aside personal goals and priorities in order to have comfort. She avoids conflict and discomfort. Iona tends to let her dislike anyone who causes her mental tension, like Romau, and hides that dislike.

Enlen Druesttur
A self-indulgent and blaming artist, his god is his inspiration and exorcism is his art. Enlen is a profoundly unhealthy person and he has a soulless feeling about him. The abuse disallowed him from looking internally for his identity. He never discovered his true self - in effect, he has no identity. As a result, he has been lost, not sure who he is, all the while trying to keep the hatred of the abuser contained. At this point in his life, his dam's about to burst. He channels this hatred in his cruel exorcisms.

Adonna Angurnny
EnlenâEUTMs assistant, the is a driven, self-assured status seeker. Adonna is withdrawn, so she has concentrated on her career. Despite her initially being healthy, after a tragic event in her life it became increasingly hard to keep the building fury inside her under wraps. The stress adds to the internal aggressiveness machine, clicking her up one notch at a time until, finally, it's time to do something about it. If she succeeds on the covert plan of destruction, she will realize it didn't help anything and slip into a self-destructive depression. If she fails, the fury bursts out for the world to see in the form of irrationality and social inappropriateness, usually in front of the admired figure she wanted to impress in the first place.

[ThadanTheUnliving]

For easier reading, I opened a blog here where I posted the information:

The Blog of Thadan the Unliving

[Deathcon7]

Seems like you're putting the cart ahead of the horse. You want your hero/player to do all these things, and you continue to add obstacles, but you don't have a proper MacGuffin.

What you need to keep in mind is that you're trying to bring the story and the game too close together. In fact, it seems you're approaching them as one and the same; you can't do that. A reader is different from a player. If you want to have a multimedia experience, then each piece needs to be approached as such. You need to set objectives for each one based on a very loose idea of the story as a whole. I'd recommend the Snowflake method, and attribute each project to a particular flake seed. Then you expand each one according to the needs of the project.

This would probably require a strong grasp of the story as a whole. I would say that designing one will open up questions and avenues that could be explored through other media. But you'll want to maintain a singular focus if you want to ensure the story flows correctly.

[ThadanTheUnliving]

At 9/16/12 02:08 PM, Deathcon7 wrote: Seems like you're putting the cart ahead of the horse. You want your hero/player to do all these things, and you continue to add obstacles, but you don't have a proper MacGuffin.

What you need to keep in mind is that you're trying to bring the story and the game too close together. In fact, it seems you're approaching them as one and the same; you can't do that. A reader is different from a player. If you want to have a multimedia experience, then each piece needs to be approached as such. You need to set objectives for each one based on a very loose idea of the story as a whole. I'd recommend the Snowflake method, and attribute each project to a particular flake seed. Then you expand each one according to the needs of the project.

This would probably require a strong grasp of the story as a whole. I would say that designing one will open up questions and avenues that could be explored through other media. But you'll want to maintain a singular focus if you want to ensure the story flows correctly.

As of now, I am focused on writing the story itself as opposed to the game. When I have a strong foundation, I'll write the main story. The game is mostly focused on "what if" scenarios, at least to me so far. Maybe it's because I posted only certain bits of info, but I kind of already have MacGuffins for both the prelude and the main series.

In a way, I already have those MscGuffins...

In the prelude, all the characters I feel the search for a way to implement an idea would fit the story. In the main series, the exploration of events or occurrences in the past made necessary by someone's insistence in order to fulfill or meet the needs of the requirement.

In the prelude, Romau, to become part of the Asdan Templars, crafted a complicated plan to achieve it. When possessed, he pours all his energy into plans for exorcising Marasiel. Kayrra wants to better the lives of the serfs if she can discover a plant that can grow in inclimate weather (potatoes for instance, but potatoes don't grow in their region). That's just two examples.

For the main series, it's a bit more complex. I want to tie it regarding Romau's betrayal both perceived and actual, though I can't seem to put it in concrete words. Considering I am focused on the prelude, it's not a prevalent issue, but it's on my mind quite a bit.

[Deathcon7]

I have to be brutally honest here. While your story has a lot of guts, it's mostly fat. You have a lot of junk that you're posting that has nothing to do with the actual heart of the story and it's this misconception that's really blocking your path. The problem not being able to find a good way to shape the story is not an issue with the material, but with your perception.

First, a lot of your details are really inconsequential. For example, the two best friends love the same woman. While this is not entirely uncommon, there's no mention or focus on how this affects their relationship. When this happen with my best friend, and we've been friends for nearly a decade, our relationship came so strained we barely spoke. It wasn't due to anything overt, but the tension knowing that one of us was going to get her, the emotional and mental play especially if one is confident he's going to get her (or already has her) and the insecure one. Anyway, this plays no part in the way that the story seems to be developing.

Here's a suggestion: what if your MC bargains with the demon but the demon refuses? What if he refuses because he know's the MC's intentions and instead possess the best friend? In this way you're able to embody that best friend's jealousy, while also maintaining his anti-hero nature. He's not battling the demon for altruistic reasons, but to save his friend. That being said, when the demon attacks a village, he doesn't help to defend the village (and in fact most of it is destroyed), he helps because it's an opportunity to get close to his friend and try to do something, anything to help him.

What this is really getting at is the fact that there are no consequences in what you're explaining. I understand you can't explain it all without spoiling the story, but as it stands it seems you're pulling your punches to the detriment of the story. You have this really great situation that you could really exploit but you're hung up on the way *you* want it to play out, versus the way the story demands it to be played out. This creates a very stilled and forced plot.

The solution to that is to simply take a moment, consider the threads, and run with the aggregate outcome. This leads back to the point on the MacGuffin. The main character is not the only one with a drive. And the best way to create conflict in a story is to complicate it. In this case, the MC wants to be possessed by this demon. The only way to omplicate this is to not give the hero as much control (not a good idea if it's in his POV), or have the demon possess someone else. Keep in mind that the antagonist also has his/its own motives.

That's the best advice I can offer with the informati at hand. I'm sorry if I'm missing the mark again, but I can only go off of what I'm given. Note that you have my e-mail. For more directed help, send me an e-mail with what's going on in your head and I'll do what I can to help you direct that energy. This'll also avoid having to post so much detail in a public forum. Won't be very good if a google search spoils your plot.

Also, sorry if my post comes of disjointed. I'm multitasking at the moment.

[ThadanTheUnliving]

At 9/17/12 10:41 AM, Deathcon7 wrote: I have to be brutally honest here. While your story has a lot of guts, it's mostly fat. You have a lot of junk that you're posting that has nothing to do with the actual heart of the story and it's this misconception that's really blocking your path. The problem not being able to find a good way to shape the story is not an issue with the material, but with your perception.

First, a lot of your details are really inconsequential. For example, the two best friends love the same woman. While this is not entirely uncommon, there's no mention or focus on how this affects their relationship. When this happen with my best friend, and we've been friends for nearly a decade, our relationship came so strained we barely spoke. It wasn't due to anything overt, but the tension knowing that one of us was going to get her, the emotional and mental play especially if one is confident he's going to get her (or already has her) and the insecure one. Anyway, this plays no part in the way that the story seems to be developing.

Here's a suggestion: what if your MC bargains with the demon but the demon refuses? What if he refuses because he know's the MC's intentions and instead possess the best friend? In this way you're able to embody that best friend's jealousy, while also maintaining his anti-hero nature. He's not battling the demon for altruistic reasons, but to save his friend. That being said, when the demon attacks a village, he doesn't help to defend the village (and in fact most of it is destroyed), he helps because it's an opportunity to get close to his friend and try to do something, anything to help him.

What this is really getting at is the fact that there are no consequences in what you're explaining. I understand you can't explain it all without spoiling the story, but as it stands it seems you're pulling your punches to the detriment of the story. You have this really great situation that you could really exploit but you're hung up on the way *you* want it to play out, versus the way the story demands it to be played out. This creates a very stilled and forced plot.

The solution to that is to simply take a moment, consider the threads, and run with the aggregate outcome. This leads back to the point on the MacGuffin. The main character is not the only one with a drive. And the best way to create conflict in a story is to complicate it. In this case, the MC wants to be possessed by this demon. The only way to omplicate this is to not give the hero as much control (not a good idea if it's in his POV), or have the demon possess someone else. Keep in mind that the antagonist also has his/its own motives.

That's the best advice I can offer with the informati at hand. I'm sorry if I'm missing the mark again, but I can only go off of what I'm given. Note that you have my e-mail. For more directed help, send me an e-mail with what's going on in your head and I'll do what I can to help you direct that energy. This'll also avoid having to post so much detail in a public forum. Won't be very good if a google search spoils your plot.

Also, sorry if my post comes of disjointed. I'm multitasking at the moment.

Thank you for your honestly. It gave me a lot to think about, and I am currently working on my own "flake". I consider myself detail oriented and needed to get those details out first, but you are correct that, at this point, it's necessary fat.

Based on the food for thought you've given me, the relationship between Romau and Aldemos has always been a mutual respect, and little to do with actually caring for each other. When Romau won over Kayrra, Aldemos went from bad (believing Kayrra was part of his ideal world where suffering did not exist or would be mitigated with a woman's love) to worse (looking for ways to convince Romau is not for Kayrra, even if he has to lie and deceive.) One way to do it is Romau accepts the demon to find a way to rectify their relationship, and Aldemos sees it as a way to get him out of the picture.

Maybe the demon possesses the other victims first, and Romau, realizing what's going on, allows himself to be possessed at the cost of the control of his own mind. I want it to play off the antagonists (Marasiel) desire for the power to overthrow the devil himself, and uses the hapless knights as fuel for her rise to power.

You were correct I was trying to paint a house with no firm structure and I was rightly called out on it. It truly is an awful habit of mine.

Would you be interested in the progress I've made on the "flake" of the series?

[Deathcon7]

At 9/17/12 11:53 AM, ThadanTheUnliving wrote: Would you be interested in the progress I've made on the "flake" of the series?

Responded to your e-mail.