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An introvert's hidden thoughts

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dartosgamer
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An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 01:27:31 Reply

btw ima programmer.

Sometimes I walk through the halls of school thinking to myself. In my mind I have amazing thoughts and even more amazing ideas. Unfortunately when I try giving someone insight into my thoughts they either don't care or don't get it. This post is me trying to express what is in my mind.
Ever since I was a child I loved making things. I loved crafting things with my hands, bringing things from my mind into the real world in a tangible way. As I grew and matured my though became too complex to make in a little clay figure and Unfortunately I never developed a knack for art. After a few years of not being able to express myself in anyone other than speech (which most people just ignored anyway) I found this wonderful art called programming. At first I just saw it as a tool to make video games and I'm sure that some people (even programmers) see it this way but, after a year or two I realized that I could express my thoughts using code.
It has been so long since I had a way of making anything that I could use to bring my thoughts and ideas into reality and the feeling of it was just mind blowing. I started learning programming as though it was an art discipline like writing or painting. By that I mean that after looking at the technical aspects of some languages and algorithms I saw fantastic logic and style that lay just behind the code. I felt like one of the famous ancient Greek mathematicians creating, analyzing, understanding, and appreciating mathematic concepts. Programming forced me to see math in a new light. It forced me to see it as an astounding and expressive tool.
It's hard for me to explain why programming arouses these feelings of worth and creative ability but I'll try. When you are trying to create an algorithm for some small thing like making a grid you need to break down what a grid is to its most basic components; then take those components and find out how to make them self-generating. You could spend hours musing over these small problems and find out that a solution is so infinitely simple that you almost need to force yourself to forget about complex math concepts. To most people, I would think, this would enrage them; after spending so much time on something just to see that it is actually as simple as 2+2 or for every grid square multiply its X position value by two to get the X position on the square to the right of it. But to me that is the most amazing feeling. The feeling comes after the juxtaposition of the, at time, extremely complex art of programming and the simplicity of elementary math. It's an amazing splash of reality that brings me back to earth for the next problem that need tackling.
Basically what I'm saying is that programming is not just some boring/tedious (although it can be at times as with most things) means to and end but an art that gives people, like me, who like math and like making tangible (but are not really good with art) creations a way to express ourselves.


I gave it a shot and for some magical reason all is well. Thank you good sir.

the-goatman
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 02:18:00 Reply

Once when I was high I thought I found the meaning of life. I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget.

The next morning I found said paper and it read: hand and nose, not eyes.

Oh were you saying something?

Sekhem
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 02:19:41 Reply

program me some hentai


trakt|||| last.fm |||| recommend me hip-hop - G O D // B L E S S // A F R I C A

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4urentertainment
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 02:29:57 Reply

I'll be the first to give a serious response, so here goes.

Don't think of yourself as a hidden enigma that is tragically shunned away by society and forced to find joy in the art you create. It's a nice thought, but the truth is you're not all that different, and that's good thing!

I used to think like you as well. That no one could really fathom what I had in my head, because they weren't smart enough or whatever. But it wasn't until I actually started talking to people that I realized these mindless teens actually have some deep and profound insight of their own. Just because someone looks happy and goofy doesn't mean they think a lot as well.

Perhaps try to find someone who shares an interest in math or programming, or even art.

Your post reminds me of this as well:

http://blackhole12.newgrounds.com/news/post/748002

The important thing to remember is that, no matter how different or alone you may feel, there are people just like you somewhere out there. You just gotta find them!

Bolo
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 02:41:28 Reply

At 9/16/12 01:27 AM, dartosgamer wrote: In my mind I have amazing thoughts and even more amazing ideas.

Saying the words "I have amazing thoughts" unironically is pretty hilarious. I laughed.


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Lintire
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 02:48:04 Reply

You're not as special as you think you are.

I paint a lot, and here some variation of the following from people after seeing my works: "I have great ideas, and awesome scenes in my head too, I just can't get them down on paper". Everyone has "amazing ideas", especially these days where we're exposed to so much stimuli. Ideas don't matter, having amazing thoughts does not make you a beautiful mind that everyone is shunning. Everyone is trapped more or less inside their own heads.

Sorry if that seems harsh, I'm just getting the "I'm a misunderstood genius who's better then everyone else" vibe from your post.

Good on you for enjoying programming, though.

SKS
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 03:06:53 Reply

I'm getting the same vibe as Lintire. You're not as special as you think you are. Your hidden thoughts? They seemed so cliche as if I've read these so called hidden thoughts before multiple times someone thinks they're opening up about something special. You're not deep cause you're an introvert and it doesn't make you any more interesting that you think a lot. I think a lot, but I don't try and convey this vibe of being all special and intellectual, because I just know I'm an intellectual so I just be what I am and not try to make it seem as if I'm special.

I find it infuriating that you think you've got something so beautiful and awesome; when in reality it's only as beautiful as YOU perceive it to be. Besides; you've hardly revealed anything even so much as interesting. You basically said; I like to create things. Programming lets me make things. It can be complex and simple at the same time(Guess what, so can almost anything.) Yet all the filler was basically you saying; "I'm an ignored mastermind genius so you shall all heed my insight now for I shall not be shunned any longer!"

Yeah, fuck you dude.

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Halberd
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 03:41:11 Reply

kool thread but use paragraphs walls of text disencourage people from reading


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i-am-ghey
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 07:54:58 Reply

At 9/16/12 01:27 AM, dartosgamer wrote: Programming forced me to see math in a new light. It forced me to see it as an astounding and expressive tool.

indeed, computer algorithms sometimes give my new ideas to solve elementary math problems, especially those that are related to counting, and some areas in discrete math.

but there is a danger that one becomes to reliant on the tool. for instance, there are a lot of math problems that can be solved in just a few lines without using programming. (can't think of an example right now, but these problems are again usually related to counting and number theory and so on)

it is the safest to develop your skills in both areas, not just one.


I am just a random user from a set of measure zero and thus am negligible.

SeniorWolfy
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 08:59:17 Reply

Anyone feel like the plot of Weird Science is going to be his future?


You goina pet me or what? | My Animation Cave | Aren't I your favorite? |

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GiantDouche
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 11:20:18 Reply

you are not a beautiful and unique snowflake

II2none
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 11:30:42 Reply

The hard truth is, in this field socialization is what get these ideas of the ground. Unless your something else (can draw, animate and program) success in video games comes with team work. And even then the game may not turn out exactly how you in-vision so you'd have to be willing to compromise.


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How to review like your opinion matters

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GiantDouche
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 11:41:04 Reply

for real yall nigqers a bunch of ass holes

this dude is POURIN OUT HIS HART onto this GAY ASS BBS and all you can do is insult him and call him mean words and say that he is not unique and he is gay and stupid. even if all that is true, what do you gain from degrading your fellow newgrounds user? we need to stick together and get each other's back, it is the only way we can defeat 4chan.

An introvert's hidden thoughts

Urban-Champion
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Response to An introvert's hidden thoughts 2012-09-16 11:41:46 Reply

oh i guess doing those things makes you special huh