My Experience with God

[Marbl3z]

I have recently just had a re-awakening Christian experience. Now before you over-react, I am aware that the majority of this forum does not believe in, or have any relationship with god. But I am explaining this to you to tell you my personal experience, and a different way I have been shown life.

I have been taught a new way to live my life as a Christian. The Holy Spirit has influenced my pastor to study things not included in the bible and taught me something that I would've never thought existed in the Christian faith. And that is, the different ways you can get to heaven, and the different heavens that exist. Many Christians don't know this because only Christians that are truly close to the spirit will know, and my pastor is one of the people. My pastor has given me the keys to the door of knowledge in which I will share with you right now, and I feel very blessed and proud to have been taught this.

You see, many pastor's will tell you that there is there is only one heaven, but that is actually not true. In fact, there are five different heavens, each one higher than the other. Just to list them all, there is:

Heaven - the regular heaven that the majority of Christians will tell you about. Pretty much all you would have to do to get into heaven would be to make sure that repent and to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your savior, no matter what you have done in your life. In Heaven, you are equipped with a golden halo, small wings, and a harp, and are free to roam where ever you please, that is within the boundaries of heaven.

Super Heaven - the next level that is above heaven. To get into Super Heaven, you have to have had a no kill record, or else you cannot get into this level of heaven no matter what. You also have to have done something extra-ordinary in your lifetime, such as save someones life, and started a charity. In Super Heaven, you are equipped with a silver crown instead of a golden halo, and bigger harp, and a silky white tunic.

Extreme Heaven - this is the next level above Super Heaven. To get into Extreme Heaven, you have to have had a pure heart and followed all of the 10 commandments, never breaking a single rule, in other words, you have to have done no wrong. In Extreme Heaven, you are equipped with a Golden Crown, a Golden Tunic, and Bigger wings. Also, your age is set to when you were in the prime of your life, and you won't age for all of eternity.

Ultimate Heaven - this is the next Heaven that is above Extreme Heaven. To get into Ultimate Heaven, you have to have made the Ultimate sacrifice in order to have saved someone else's life, or make someone else's life better. Very few people are reported to have gotten into Ultimate Heaven, so not a whole lot is known. However, what is known is that you are equipped with a golden tunic woven with the smoothest silk and has a collar made of rubies, and diamonds of all colors. You are also equipped with doves and fly around you, golden wings, and you are made physically stronger than you were during your lifetime.

Heaven Unlimited - The next level above Ultimate Heaven, and Heaven Unlimited. Not much is known about Heaven Unlimited, because the about beings the inhabit Heaven Unlimited are Jesus Christ, and God himself. However, experts have heard from the Holy Spirit, is the in Heaven Unlimited, you have access to every single facet of life and structure that is in existence in the universe.

There also are different levels of Hell, but we won't get into that right now. Me and my Pastors goal is to get to Super Heaven when we die, because we already know we don't have the credentials to get into any of the above heavens.

My Pastor also taught me about the different Gods the rule over the Heavens. Many Christians are also wrong in the fact the Christianity is a mono-theistic religion, because it is not. Many Christians only know of one God because there is one God that we encounter, however there are many other Gods that only rule over the Heavens. You've got God that rules over the people and all the heavens, God Z that rules over Heaven and Super Heaven, and God GT that rules over Extreme Heaven and Ultimate Heaven. There's also been some speculation that there might be a God AF, that rules over all the heavens, Hell, and the universe. However, experts that are closest to the Holy Spirit say the God AF does not exist, never has, and never will exist.

So this is the journey that I have taken in the past couple days...

How was your day?

[Urban-Champion]

someone tell me if there was anything funny in this giant wall of text because it looks bleak

[DarkMatter]

MY EYES!!! MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS EYES!!!

[wreckr]

Wait, so you are telling me you don't have to suck the holy spirit out of a holy hose in the confession booth?

[Confucianism]

~Scans for humour~
ERROR: No humour detected
~Scans for plausability~
MALFUNCTION: God *fizz* Heaven *buzz* Holy Spirit *spark*

~Printing thread results~
----Utter bullshit of no moral or relative interest----

[Swag-in-a-Bag]

LOL I actually thought you were being serious at first until you got to the multiple heaven and God's part.

There is only ONE heaven and ONE God; and no human can begin to even fathom what the real heaven is like because the true God has not put into the minds of man what it truly is according to the Holy Bible; so all of our carnal misconceptions of heaven automatically go out the window into the gutter down the drain into the sewer

[Dr-Worm]

At 9/13/12 02:03 AM, Marbl3z wrote: You've got God that rules over the people and all the heavens, God Z that rules over Heaven and Super Heaven, and God GT that rules over Extreme Heaven and Ultimate Heaven.

I've always found God Z to be shallow and repetitive, plus he drags out all of his revelations forever before finally getting to the good stuff. Even as a kid I was never a fan. I never really worshipped the original God or God GT, so I can't really make an informed judgment about them, but I can only assume they're more of the same.

I know it's not technically a "real" God, but I vastly prefer God: The Last Airbender.

[desert116]

So is there a Supporter Heaven for people who give NG $25?

[Mownkey]

At 9/13/12 02:03 AM, Marbl3z wrote: How was your day?

Nothing, I've just finished my mems and stuff.

[Lintire]

Haha I love that your pastor came up with different fucking uniforms for each level.

[Strength]

God doesn't give a fuck about you or anyone in this thread

[Skaren]

At 9/13/12 09:06 AM, Strength wrote: God doesn't give a fuck about you or anyone in this thread

But Jesus does.

[Nebula]

This won't end well.