Developing First Act of a Series

[ThadanTheUnliving]

I arrived at a key point to the development of a fantasy series I am working on (prelude novella, novel series/RPG Maker VX Ace game of the main story, side stories). It involves the development of the main story.

The prelude is the main character Romau's unwitting supernatural transformation (succumbing to demonic forces), leading to his best friend betraying him (Aldemos) and the death of his human body and the villagers he was sent to protect from the demon. With the death of his body, Romau is revived by the demon, but is robbed of all knowledge of the demon within him, with only memories of officials unjustly killing the townsfolk of Lansdale for mana crystal deposits (known to the populace as the Cleansing of Lansdale) and the betrayal of Aldemos, who was key in the massacre. This is the basic premise of the prelude, dubbed "Rise of the Devil's Sword".

The main series (originally dubbed "Epoch of the Brotherhood") revolves around a revenge story of Romau trying to end the lives of seven targets modeled from the Seven Deadly Sins who were responsible for the deaths of the townsfolk and unwittingly becoming involved with a war between an ailing democracy and a puppet empire, and eventually a divine struggle as he harbors, according to lore, is the most vile demon known to man with characteristics across the many faiths of the world of Tia'Drais.

The goal of the story is a mix of a revenge tale and a story dealing with the politics and effects of a non-renewable magic source in which people's souls, due to the equivalent of God barring mortals from being welcome into Heaven, become crystallized in the mortal world and used as magic, killing them utterly and painfully in the process as they are conscious during the process of having their life force extracted.

The Ackad Confederacy and the Ghath Empire represent the factions one can join in the game, with three other factions within each main faction which dictate the order of the targets and change the story drastically.

I envision Romau getting captured and transported to a city for a public execution sponsored by Cardinal of Irileth Tean Ryali, one of the seven targets and the man who approved of the Cleansing of Lansdale and friend of one of the targets who was killed in the prelude, a demonologist named Iri Yaralnu who was sent by the Cardinal to investigate demonic influence in Lansdale and blew the possession and protection of Romau as full-scale demonic possession. With a talisman on his neck barring demonic energy (which Romau believes to be a divine gift), Romau awaits his execution on the ride to Irileth.

The problem is afterwards. The original had Romau having a chance meeting with a Nightblade named Varek and a half-elven spy named Ilene who bail him out in prison exchange for Romau joining the guild The Brotherhood. The problem is that it has no relevance to the revenge plot and can't seem to find a reasonable angle to go about it without having the story drag.

I could try to have a fallen angel who is trying to re-enter heaven by killing the most infamous of demons attacking the site of the execution unable to find the demon in Romau (due to the talisman barring demonic energy) though I feel it's a bit contrived (like the main villain dragon trying to kill the Dragonborn in Skyrim but failing) though it would introduce the conflict between the heaven and hell early on. I really want to implement the concept of Romau becoming part of Varek's guild.

I'm kind of conflicted and could use some direction here. If you desire more information to assist, I can supply it.

[Deathcon7]

First, thank you for your earnest request and your attention to detail. I want to wish you the best of luck because it sounds like you're really excited about this project. Let me tell you this: keep pushing. There are a number of abandoned RPGMVX files on my hard drive; I know first hand how daunting these types of passion projects can be.

Second, hone your focus. Your passion will be your undoing if it's the only driving force of this project. As soon as the passion wanes you'll be on to the next thing. That being said, take the time to fully develop your story, and imagine all the things you want to include within the full scope of your project. Whether you do go on to make an RPG, or a string of short stories, or a novel; make sure the foundation is there to support the project at hand.

Sorry, I don't mean to rhapsodize. To get to the crux of my post: make it worse.

"Make it worse" is like a magic potion for any story. It instantly makes it better, without fail. And it helps clear writer's block. Why? It's conflict. A story stalls when there's no conflict. Unless the writer knows what's next, if there's no conflict in a scene, there's no driving force. If there's no driving force, and the writer is writing blind, where does she go? Thus, make it worse.

So the character is captured, he's about to be executed, how the hell can things be worse? A) Kill him, B) attack what's left of him. You can't do much physically at this point (because he's already at the precipice of death), but you can attack him spiritually, or mentally. Why does he want to get free? What is he willing to do to free himself to achieve that end? Is he willing to sacrifice his morals? Is he desperate enough to make a "deal with the devil" to get free?

Within the scope of your story you can use these questions to help free the hero. But it'll have a cost, and that'll be one of the items you explore further in the second and third acts of the story. Remember that when you're plotting your hero has a main goal to achieve, and in trying to do so only makes things worse for himself (and, possibly, others).

The problem with introducing outside elements, such as The Brotherhood, is that they're a device. If they're skilled enough to free him, why do they need him? What can he do that they cannot? How is his freedom worth the resources put toward freeing him? What does The Brotherhood know about him that maybe he does not know? Why doesn't he know? How did they find out? If you can't come up with good answers, then externalizing the solution is not the way to go.

That being said, keep the problem internal. What if he's given the power to free himself, but only at the cost of taking someone's life? What if he kills another prisoner but finds that it's not enough? What if the only way he can build enough power is to take the life of an innocent?

What if he does have his memories, but they're slowly fading. What if his memories are the source of his power, and the more he uses his power, the more he loses his memory. What if the only memory that'll give him the strength to escape is that of his murdered wife? By saving himself, he'll forget her forever; a second, more thorough death. With this approach you could also create a fool's gold plot mechanic. With supernatural elements involved, what if they could possibly give him his memories back? Or what if his wife was killed for a reason, and he meets her ghost but doesn't know who she is. What if between the two of them they can solve the main problem, but before they do he must learn to trust her, love her, all over again. To make matters worse, you have the building emotional terror that, when the dust settles, he'll lose her a third time. Can he handle that?

This is the best part of stories you're in. It's the sandbox phase. There's so many directions you can take, so many different things you can do, but you just have to put the thought into it. Some ideas will be more original than others, some ideas will serve as better segue. You just have to keep asking yourself questions and exploring the answers, always keeping in mind "make it worse."

[starwarsjunkie]

I feel like there may be too much going on here. There are a billion names dropped in you synopsis, and I'm unclear as to how they all relate to each other. Is the Brotherhood that springs the protagonist somehow related to the one you mention earlier? Are they in fact the same thing? I admit that I was lost by the time I got to the end of your post.

As for your dilemma about how to move forward, I think Deathcon has a lot of good advice. Something else you could do, is instead of having someone bust him out or introducing a completely new character (the fallen angel) to move things along, just have the protagonist escape. He's imprisoned by one of the seven guys the player has to kill right? So have him escape from his cell and then go find the guy to kill him. Or something along those lines. This kinda makes the player feel a little more in control instead of at the mercy of contrived scenarios.

Just a thought.

[ThadanTheUnliving]

First off, I absolutely have to thank you Deathcon7 for the lovely response. I know it'll be a while before I start the project for the game: I need to write the prelude and the side stories to find my voice first. If I find my voice in the middle of writing these or after I write several, perhaps many, I will have to fight the urge to go back and write them again. I need to get the ground work for the novel series first as speculative fiction is something I've held dear to me ever since I read Ender's Game as a child.

But the tempered response is not the only reason I really enjoyed reading your post.

What I enjoyed most is how much food for the mind to chew on you provided, yet it didn't feel overwhelming or rhapsodizing at all. I always wanted to implement the concept of a character losing his memories, or his memories being lost within the memories of either his victims or something along those lines. I wanted the political struggles of a non-renewable magic source. I wanted a divine conflict in which the protagonist rushes head on into without thinking of the consequences, the realities of his mistakes crushing him. I want a lot for his story, and his memories will be key to the story, as well as the memories that are clouding his identity.

I wanted to keep The Brotherhood, but it's best to let the idea go. Keep the problem internal.

I sent you an invitation via MSN through my main hotmail account [e-mail]. I was wondering if we could carry on and discuss this more?

To starwarsjunkie, I apologize for how rushed this post was. The world has been something I've been developing for a while and these names are fairly ingrained in my mind. If you need clarification on anything, let me know.

As for what I was trying to get across, Romau is possessed by a demon and news of the possession reached the church from his jealous best friend Aldemos. The demonologist confirms the possession. The townsfolk tried to protect him because he was popular amongst the locals and try to exorcise the demon through their own means but fail, and the church deemed them possessed as well and had them killed outright.

This is probably the summary of the prelude in a nutshell, and probably what I'll focus on first. If you need clarification on anything else, please let me know.

[Deathcon7]

At 9/12/12 03:53 PM, ThadanTheUnliving wrote: First off, I absolutely have to thank you Deathcon7 for the lovely response. I know it'll be a while before I start the project for the game: I need to write the prelude and the side stories to find my voice first. If I find my voice in the middle of writing these or after I write several, perhaps many, I will have to fight the urge to go back and write them again. I need to get the ground work for the novel series first as speculative fiction is something I've held dear to me ever since I read Ender's Game as a child.

Voice is a lie. I say that with a casual shrug and wave of the hand. Your voice is the way that you write. So long as you're not trying to sound like someone else, and you're writing uninhibited, you're using your voice. If you're talking about tone, that's something entirely different and will only develop as your story does. It's very close to theme in that sense. My advise is to get your head wrapped around the story. Discovery is nice, but big projects need equivalently sized planning.

The myth of voice cropped up somewhere; not sure where. I fell under its spell for a bit. Once you let it go, though, you'll notice you flow a lot better.

What I enjoyed most is how much food for the mind to chew on you provided, yet it didn't feel overwhelming or rhapsodizing at all. I always wanted to implement the concept of a character losing his memories, or his memories being lost within the memories of either his victims or something along those lines. I wanted the political struggles of a non-renewable magic source. I wanted a divine conflict in which the protagonist rushes head on into without thinking of the consequences, the realities of his mistakes crushing him. I want a lot for his story, and his memories will be key to the story, as well as the memories that are clouding his identity.

Memories are non-renewable. Anyway, keep in mind I did nothing but ask questions based on your post. You can do it too, it's just a matter of asking the right questions to get those writerly juices flowing. Which really isn't a feat in and of itself; asking the right question is a lot easier than you'd think.

You'll also want to make sure you read up on your contemporaries. You'd be surprised how much of a hot topic non-renewable magic is in the genre. It's almost a fad.

I wanted to keep The Brotherhood, but it's best to let the idea go. Keep the problem internal.

Sometimes you have to kill your darlings for the sake of the story.

I sent you an invitation via MSN through my main hotmail account [e-mail]. I was wondering if we could carry on and discuss this more?

I'd love to help but you'd be better off e-mailing me. I've got a gmail account. My inbox is [geovanie.ruiz]. I'd be more than happy to e-mail as I can, but I'm going to be really busy soon working on my manuscript.

Also, do some footwork. Look up The Story Board. I linked to it in the forum. Listen to Writing Excuses. These types of things really get you inspired, and motivate you. Their advice is palatable and relevant. Do it!