Be a Supporter!

How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi

  • 536 Views
  • 20 Replies
New Topic Respond to this Topic
HomicidialFrog
HomicidialFrog
  • Member since: Mar. 28, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 08
Gamer
How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:35:33 Reply

How to get a girlfriend for Autistics!

Yes sir, you heard right! Finally YOU can get a girlfriend despite being a soulless mass of flesh. Just follow these 12 simple steps!

1. Pick the most attractive girl you know.
2. Steal her phone.
3. Find out her number with the phone.
4. Give her it back and claim she lost it but you found it.
5. Follow her home silently. Make sure to write down her address and camp outside her house in a bush, her shed or something where no one can see you.
6. Follow her with a notepad for a week and note all her usual locations.
7. Make notes of all the people she is friends with or related to or knows in any way.
8. Ask these people questions about her nonchalantly. Most important things are her workplace/school/college, her friends, her boyfriend/husband (Do not be discouraged because she has one of these, it'll just make her love you even more when she sees the great effort you put in to getting her.)
9. Figure out some way using the information you have gained to split her up with her boyfriend/husband, if she has one. Things like framing him or her of adultery usually works, but use your imagination! When you've broke them up, continue onto the next steps. If you feel like a bad person for doing this, don't worry. If they was meant to be together anyway, they wouldn't have broke up in the first place!
10. Call her alot, breathing heavily down the phone and saying nothing until she hangs up. Women for some reason find this really sexy. Scientists have been trying they're damned hardest to understand why. They're best theory is: "They're women."
11. Wait outside her house at night, making sure she knows you're there. Everytime she looks out the window, wave at her. This will show her you care about her.
12. Finally, break into her house at night and seduce her. If she looks scared or nervous in anyway, don't worry. She's just suprised and VERY turned on. Also, bear in mind that most women are into fantasy rape. If resists and screams while crying, she's just a very good roleplayer in bed. Continue making love while roleplaying a rapist! Remember, don't take "No" for an answer, women love men who assert themselves!

After all these steps are complete, you will have a girlfriend and will no longer be the lonely person you are, you will finally have someone to hold at night and have sexingz with 100% guaranteed!

Please post your testimonials here.


War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.

mandog
mandog
  • Member since: Jul. 13, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 22
Musician
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:37:39 Reply

Worst thread 2012

How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi


original I am.

BBS Signature
HomicidialFrog
HomicidialFrog
  • Member since: Mar. 28, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 08
Gamer
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:42:55 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012

Are you unhappy with the advice I gave you?


War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.

PeterM
PeterM
  • Member since: Aug. 3, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 34
Melancholy
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:44:45 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:42 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote:
At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012
Are you unhappy with the advice I gave you?

Don't worry, he's just so autistic he can't t understand what the original post meant.

JBK
JBK
  • Member since: Jun. 15, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 24
Gamer
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:48:24 Reply

This is my view.. If you are going to make fun of disabilities/skin colour/sexuality/gender you should at least be funny. If it is just a common cheap laugh, make yourself worth our time somehow.


"Even though you hate gays, believe in god, and dislike my posts, I still think you're cool"-FurryFox
"TarahlovesJBKscawk"-Tarah, "Those pants are just adorable"-Gagsy
Last.fm

BBS Signature
Jester
Jester
  • Member since: Aug. 29, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 04
Blank Slate
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:48:33 Reply

Alternate route for slackers: Roofies

JBK
JBK
  • Member since: Jun. 15, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 24
Gamer
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:50:09 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:48 PM, JBK wrote: This is my view.. If you are going to make fun of disabilities/skin colour/sexuality/gender you should at least be funny. If it is just a common cheap laugh, make yourself worth our time somehow.

Oh and keep it short.
forgot.


"Even though you hate gays, believe in god, and dislike my posts, I still think you're cool"-FurryFox
"TarahlovesJBKscawk"-Tarah, "Those pants are just adorable"-Gagsy
Last.fm

BBS Signature
mandog
mandog
  • Member since: Jul. 13, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 22
Musician
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:55:56 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:44 PM, PeterM wrote:
At 9/6/12 02:42 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote:
At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012
Are you unhappy with the advice I gave you?
Don't worry, he's just so autistic he can't t understand what the original post meant.

So autistic? does that mean that my autism is worse?
I never had it in the first place though.


original I am.

BBS Signature
PeterM
PeterM
  • Member since: Aug. 3, 2004
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 34
Melancholy
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 14:57:08 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:55 PM, mandog wrote:
So autistic? does that mean that my autism is worse?

Yes it means that your condition is particularly bad.

I never had it in the first place though.

Denial is the first stage of guilt. Good evening and good night.

JBK
JBK
  • Member since: Jun. 15, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 24
Gamer
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 15:05:08 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:57 PM, PeterM wrote:
At 9/6/12 02:55 PM, mandog wrote:
So autistic? does that mean that my autism is worse?
Yes it means that your condition is particularly bad.

If his fictional autism were that bad, he would not be using a computer right now.


"Even though you hate gays, believe in god, and dislike my posts, I still think you're cool"-FurryFox
"TarahlovesJBKscawk"-Tarah, "Those pants are just adorable"-Gagsy
Last.fm

BBS Signature
Qelaion
Qelaion
  • Member since: Jun. 15, 2011
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 02
Musician
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 15:11:48 Reply

I tried this on at least 7 different women and it worked! Thanks!


BC | SC | FB
Click the sig for my Youtube.

BBS Signature
HomicidialFrog
HomicidialFrog
  • Member since: Mar. 28, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 08
Gamer
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 15:13:56 Reply

At 9/6/12 03:11 PM, Qelaion wrote: I tried this on at least 7 different women and it worked! Thanks!

I'm glad it worked out for you! It's weird how women ball up into a crying heap after they've orgasmed...


War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.

Qelaion
Qelaion
  • Member since: Jun. 15, 2011
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 02
Musician
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 15:16:23 Reply

At 9/6/12 03:13 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote:
At 9/6/12 03:11 PM, Qelaion wrote: I tried this on at least 7 different women and it worked! Thanks!
I'm glad it worked out for you! It's weird how women ball up into a crying heap after they've orgasmed...

Some of them even called the police afterwards as a crude prank, it was funny because she played the whole "he hurt me emotionally and physically" stunt!


BC | SC | FB
Click the sig for my Youtube.

BBS Signature
Psycho666
Psycho666
  • Member since: Aug. 6, 2000
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 19
Melancholy
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 15:17:23 Reply

At 9/6/12 03:11 PM, Qelaion wrote: I tried this on at least 7 different women and it worked! Thanks!

In recent news, seven women in the neighborhood have reported incidences of theft, stalking, and rape by one autistic male. Witness report the suspect wearing a helmet shouting , "Humphmahumph Muph-Phum!" in a gruff, bassy, animalistic fashion before descending upon them.


BBS Signature
mandog
mandog
  • Member since: Jul. 13, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 22
Musician
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 16:00:59 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:57 PM, PeterM wrote:
At 9/6/12 02:55 PM, mandog wrote:
Yes it means that your condition is particularly bad.

Doesn't sound like that, so black means your very black?

Denial is the first stage of guilt. Good evening and good night.

Guilt because of a fictional disability?
Your like a tunnel of denial.


original I am.

BBS Signature
Schizo-Sephy
Schizo-Sephy
  • Member since: Jun. 5, 2006
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 11
Gamer
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 16:04:46 Reply

I'm autistic and I find this offensive.
Not really...
I just find the thread, fucking retarded.

naronic
naronic
  • Member since: Sep. 1, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 17
Game Developer
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 16:10:02 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012

QFT


BBS Signature
homsarrunner3
homsarrunner3
  • Member since: Dec. 16, 2009
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 11
Gamer
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 16:33:18 Reply

filler

How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi


"lol what the fuck that's the best grammar nazi I've ever seen"-Sause, referring to me
"learn to suck some good dick. itll come in handy." -Luis on living in San Francisco

Halberd
Halberd
  • Member since: Aug. 22, 2008
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 30
Movie Buff
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 23:54:02 Reply

this thread gave me aspergers


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NguTypiXqqY
ILLEGAL MARIJUANA RELATED ACTIVITIES
The hand I killed your children with masturbates to the memory of it

Xenomit
Xenomit
  • Member since: Jul. 13, 2010
  • Offline.
Forum Stats
Member
Level 12
Audiophile
Response to How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi 2012-09-06 23:55:52 Reply

At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012

Where's op's level and hp bar?


TAB
"FUCKING LIKE A NINJAAAAAAAA" ~ Yinping
"xenomit is well... xenomit" ~ General consensus

BBS Signature