How to get a girlfriend for Autistics!
Yes sir, you heard right! Finally YOU can get a girlfriend despite being a soulless mass of flesh. Just follow these 12 simple steps!
1. Pick the most attractive girl you know.
2. Steal her phone.
3. Find out her number with the phone.
4. Give her it back and claim she lost it but you found it.
5. Follow her home silently. Make sure to write down her address and camp outside her house in a bush, her shed or something where no one can see you.
6. Follow her with a notepad for a week and note all her usual locations.
7. Make notes of all the people she is friends with or related to or knows in any way.
8. Ask these people questions about her nonchalantly. Most important things are her workplace/school/college, her friends, her boyfriend/husband (Do not be discouraged because she has one of these, it'll just make her love you even more when she sees the great effort you put in to getting her.)
9. Figure out some way using the information you have gained to split her up with her boyfriend/husband, if she has one. Things like framing him or her of adultery usually works, but use your imagination! When you've broke them up, continue onto the next steps. If you feel like a bad person for doing this, don't worry. If they was meant to be together anyway, they wouldn't have broke up in the first place!
10. Call her alot, breathing heavily down the phone and saying nothing until she hangs up. Women for some reason find this really sexy. Scientists have been trying they're damned hardest to understand why. They're best theory is: "They're women."
11. Wait outside her house at night, making sure she knows you're there. Everytime she looks out the window, wave at her. This will show her you care about her.
12. Finally, break into her house at night and seduce her. If she looks scared or nervous in anyway, don't worry. She's just suprised and VERY turned on. Also, bear in mind that most women are into fantasy rape. If resists and screams while crying, she's just a very good roleplayer in bed. Continue making love while roleplaying a rapist! Remember, don't take "No" for an answer, women love men who assert themselves!
After all these steps are complete, you will have a girlfriend and will no longer be the lonely person you are, you will finally have someone to hold at night and have sexingz with 100% guaranteed!
Please post your testimonials here.
War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.
OBEY OBEY, YOU MUST OBEY, YOU CAN'T RESIST, DON'T BE THAT WAY, OBEY OBEY, WE'LL HAVE OUR WAY