How to get a girlfriend, for Autisi

[HomicidialFrog]

How to get a girlfriend for Autistics!

Yes sir, you heard right! Finally YOU can get a girlfriend despite being a soulless mass of flesh. Just follow these 12 simple steps!

1. Pick the most attractive girl you know.
2. Steal her phone.
3. Find out her number with the phone.
4. Give her it back and claim she lost it but you found it.
5. Follow her home silently. Make sure to write down her address and camp outside her house in a bush, her shed or something where no one can see you.
6. Follow her with a notepad for a week and note all her usual locations.
7. Make notes of all the people she is friends with or related to or knows in any way.
8. Ask these people questions about her nonchalantly. Most important things are her workplace/school/college, her friends, her boyfriend/husband (Do not be discouraged because she has one of these, it'll just make her love you even more when she sees the great effort you put in to getting her.)
9. Figure out some way using the information you have gained to split her up with her boyfriend/husband, if she has one. Things like framing him or her of adultery usually works, but use your imagination! When you've broke them up, continue onto the next steps. If you feel like a bad person for doing this, don't worry. If they was meant to be together anyway, they wouldn't have broke up in the first place!
10. Call her alot, breathing heavily down the phone and saying nothing until she hangs up. Women for some reason find this really sexy. Scientists have been trying they're damned hardest to understand why. They're best theory is: "They're women."
11. Wait outside her house at night, making sure she knows you're there. Everytime she looks out the window, wave at her. This will show her you care about her.
12. Finally, break into her house at night and seduce her. If she looks scared or nervous in anyway, don't worry. She's just suprised and VERY turned on. Also, bear in mind that most women are into fantasy rape. If resists and screams while crying, she's just a very good roleplayer in bed. Continue making love while roleplaying a rapist! Remember, don't take "No" for an answer, women love men who assert themselves!

After all these steps are complete, you will have a girlfriend and will no longer be the lonely person you are, you will finally have someone to hold at night and have sexingz with 100% guaranteed!

Please post your testimonials here.

[mandog]

Worst thread 2012

[HomicidialFrog]

At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012

Are you unhappy with the advice I gave you?

[PeterM]

At 9/6/12 02:42 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote:

At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012

Are you unhappy with the advice I gave you?

Don't worry, he's just so autistic he can't t understand what the original post meant.

[JBK]

This is my view.. If you are going to make fun of disabilities/skin colour/sexuality/gender you should at least be funny. If it is just a common cheap laugh, make yourself worth our time somehow.

[Jester]

Alternate route for slackers: Roofies

[JBK]

At 9/6/12 02:48 PM, JBK wrote: This is my view.. If you are going to make fun of disabilities/skin colour/sexuality/gender you should at least be funny. If it is just a common cheap laugh, make yourself worth our time somehow.

Oh and keep it short.
forgot.

[mandog]

At 9/6/12 02:44 PM, PeterM wrote:

At 9/6/12 02:42 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote:

At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012

Are you unhappy with the advice I gave you?

Don't worry, he's just so autistic he can't t understand what the original post meant.

So autistic? does that mean that my autism is worse?
I never had it in the first place though.

[PeterM]

At 9/6/12 02:55 PM, mandog wrote:

So autistic? does that mean that my autism is worse?

Yes it means that your condition is particularly bad.

I never had it in the first place though.

Denial is the first stage of guilt. Good evening and good night.

[JBK]

At 9/6/12 02:57 PM, PeterM wrote:

At 9/6/12 02:55 PM, mandog wrote:

So autistic? does that mean that my autism is worse?

Yes it means that your condition is particularly bad.

If his fictional autism were that bad, he would not be using a computer right now.

[Qelaion]

I tried this on at least 7 different women and it worked! Thanks!

[HomicidialFrog]

At 9/6/12 03:11 PM, Qelaion wrote: I tried this on at least 7 different women and it worked! Thanks!

I'm glad it worked out for you! It's weird how women ball up into a crying heap after they've orgasmed...

[Qelaion]

At 9/6/12 03:13 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote:

At 9/6/12 03:11 PM, Qelaion wrote: I tried this on at least 7 different women and it worked! Thanks!

I'm glad it worked out for you! It's weird how women ball up into a crying heap after they've orgasmed...

Some of them even called the police afterwards as a crude prank, it was funny because she played the whole "he hurt me emotionally and physically" stunt!

[Psycho666]

At 9/6/12 03:11 PM, Qelaion wrote: I tried this on at least 7 different women and it worked! Thanks!

In recent news, seven women in the neighborhood have reported incidences of theft, stalking, and rape by one autistic male. Witness report the suspect wearing a helmet shouting , "Humphmahumph Muph-Phum!" in a gruff, bassy, animalistic fashion before descending upon them.

[mandog]

At 9/6/12 02:57 PM, PeterM wrote:

At 9/6/12 02:55 PM, mandog wrote:

Yes it means that your condition is particularly bad.

Doesn't sound like that, so black means your very black?

Denial is the first stage of guilt. Good evening and good night.

Guilt because of a fictional disability?
Your like a tunnel of denial.

[Schizo-Sephy]

I'm autistic and I find this offensive.
Not really...
I just find the thread, fucking retarded.

[naronic]

At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012

QFT

[homsarrunner3]

filler

[Halberd]

this thread gave me aspergers

[hecticjon]

At 9/6/12 02:35 PM, HomicidialFrog wrote: Autistics!

ugh

why do people still think autism jokes are funny

[Xenomit]

At 9/6/12 02:37 PM, mandog wrote: Worst thread 2012

Where's op's level and hp bar?