A game about people and their reflections4.27 / 5.00 8,095 Views
Pure minimalist puzzle game about solving spatial issues3.92 / 5.00 7,837 Views
Short visual novel about a mysterious girl hiding a dark secret3.84 / 5.00 14,523 Views
Hello and welcome to the third ever Comic Jam!
Here you compete with others to create the best comic within three days based around a certain theme that you can.
A couple of weeks ago I posted a thread detailing the specifics of the comic jam, which can be seen here. But here's a brief rundown of the rules before I give you the theme:
Your mission if you should choose to accept it is to create a narrative comic of preferably a number of pages (though infinite canvas style comics are good too) within 3 days, ending on Sunday the 26th at 11:59pm EST. The comic can be any length you like. While I'm tasking my self to draw a 24 page comic (though I am not competing, due to being a judge), this is not necessary.
You CAN work with a partner.
For more details on the rules please see the Information Thread.
You can host the pages of your comic any way you like, be it in the art portal, in your NG dump, on a blog you have made especially. Anything.
But in submitting the comic to this thread, you must post the first page here using the 'Include Image?' function, and have links to the rest of the pages. Do not use more than one post. See how it was done last time here.
Once the comic jam is done the three judges will decide on the winners.
The judges in this competition will be:
The prizes this time around are in two forms. First, there is some Newgrounds store credit, donated by Newgrounds. Second, there is some actual money, generously donated by an anonymous sponsor, which will be given out through Paypal. The prizes will come from both of these pools.
1st: $30 USD, $40 NG Store Credit
2nd: $20 USD, $30 NG Store Credit
3rd: $10 USD, $20 NG Store Credit
Now without further ado:
The theme for this Comic Jam is:
You can interpret that any way you please.
Remember: This thread is for submissions only! Do not post anything other than your final submission in this thread! For WIPs, and discussion please use the Information Thread!
Welp this is as far as I'm gettingl, I cleaned up the roughs for the most part, still quite a few left and was gonna ink today but work stuff o_<
Full comic in multiple page PDF
and the individual pages and script are in the same folder too. ( www.spikescomic.com/flight/) If you actually finish reading the 31 pages you deserve a cookie XD Still not bad for 2 and a half days worth of work
Here's my submission. I've been reading the other comics that have been submitted so far and, woah. Those are awesome! I thought the art on flight of the eggnapper was especially keen.
I tried to host mine on the art section, turns out it's more then four million pixels big. Whoops. Definitely 'infinite canvas' style. I just have it up on the newgrounds dump currently.
You can read my comic here.
Yay. Good luck everyone.
This is mine and Test-Object's submission.
I did some stuff.
He did some stuff.
This is mine and Test-Object's collaborative Comic Jam entry for the topic "Flight". I came up with the idea, and the shoddy...
Just a minute or so late! At least the comic itself was submitted before the deadline (if barely). Here it is, all the pages in one easy image. Wish I had more time to work on it (in terms of real life obligations taking up space, not to mention Ludum Dare. I am insane.).
This is extremely late, but then again I'm not competing. I might have been able to finish on time if I hadn't decided to go to sleep at 5am instead of powering through to the end of the jam, but at that point I was tired enough that I wasn't enjoying drawing the comic at all.
Anyway here's my comic, Weather To Fly. It ended up being 24 pages (woo!) and 85 panels.
Check out part 2 here: http://www.newgrounds.com /art/view/aigis/weather-t o-fly-part-2 For more comics, check out my webcom...
Check out part one here: http://www.newgrounds.com /art/view/aigis/weather-t o-fly-part-1 For more comics, check out my webc...
I thought IâEUTMd express my feelings and opinions on the works presented. IâEUTMm by no means the best comic creator in the world, I did work for 4 years in the industry but only as a colorist professionally. DonâEUTMt take my crits too hard, IâEUTMm just jotting down my thoughts as I read them in hopes that it helps you guys out in some way. I'm in no way suggesting that I am deserving of a position to judge anyone's work. That said, I am a judge. :P Thanks.
I liked your designs, they had a consistent shape to them and were immediately easy to read at any distance. The color choices too were fantastic, very good. The punchline was well executed and it made me smile. Fantastic. The edging felt unpolished, but that is to be a little bit expected. Making comics for a compo with a deadline are monster, I know this all too well. It very much feels speed painted, but it reads and that is what is most important.
I immediately loved what I was seeing. You took control of your pallette and established the world first thing. Right out of the box I felt familiar with what I was seeing and was eager to learn more. Love the way you handle the text, itâEUTMs really cute. With those super glassy eyes. It reminds me of the old cartoons I watched as a child were all the wrong animals get blamed for what happens. Of course you canâEUTMt blame someone being baited for going right for the sweet spot and ignoring the trap. Great work, I really enjoyed it.
Adorable and clean. Such clean lines and every figure and shape are easy to read. You look confident in your execution. You leap into the project without using a single dialogue bubble, always a good sign and an excellent exercise. One of the chief things as a comic creator that you have to be able to do is tell a story without the reliance on dialogue of any kind. A reader should be able to read your book without the text. I feel like this could have benefited from some color, some pastels, something light. But it isnâEUTMt needed. Good stuff, a great entry.
Haha, this thing is a heartbreaker man. I feel like yours was a bit rushed, maybe more so than some of the other entries. The themes was dark, and it does give that vibe, the scribbled lines and the jarring colors. One thing that really stands out to me is that the strip is suffering heavily from âEU~floating head syndromeâEUTM All of the heads and faces are seen from one or two angles at most. Try to mix it up, check out this fantastic sheet done by the late Wally Wood.
Good luck and stick with it!
I feel like maybe I just had some kind of drug induced experience. :D Man... haha. Pros right out the door are color and panels execution. A few times I did have trouble knowing which panel to read next, but you painted the character from every angle possible. You werenâEUTMt lazy there. Every angle you could ever want to see a pink naked rich airplane manâEUTMs cock. Ultimately I think it all works really well, it could certainly use a good once over. It needs some heavy editing to make it flow, and I feel that maybe some of the panels could have been planned a tiny bit better to lead into one another, to guide the viewerâEUTMs eye. But all in all, it was easy to read, had a concept and it executed it. Good work sir.
To me these felt almost more like storyboards rather than a comic. Storyboards with words. I can tell youâEUTMre a good cartoonist right off the bat just by how you build your figures. And I can tell by the attention to the characters and not to the backgrounds that you perhaps are far more interested in animation than comic creation or painting. I of course might be wrong, but this is how I feel after having read your comic. You certainly win the page count aware so far as well, haha. Great work man, very cool and I can tell you worked hard. With some color and line weights this coul dbe out of a MAD magazine. At least the ones I read as a kid.
Wow, what a wall of text. But I can tell that it was SO intentional. ItâEUTMs pretty neat, the beginning and ending could have benefited from some borders I think. Took my brain a second to bust them apart. A big wall of text is always a turn off in comics and strips though. Even if it is to make a point. I feel like this should have been narrated, like in a cartoon, rather than having to read it. I didnâEUTMt mind, but your average viewer is not going to invest in that. If they pick up a comic, they want to essentially âEU~watchâEUTM the story. They want to experience the message as they would in a tv show. Otherwise they would likely just read a book. Very amusing though. :D
TurkeyOnAStick and Test-Object
I got to admit, I knew what was going to happen before panel 2. :P This might be because IâEUTMm familiar with you guys, lol, but I knew. Still totally executed in a great way. The last image is so jarring and the crowâEUTMs change look fantastic. Pretty cool concept too on the way cartoons twist reality. Good stuff. I donâEUTMt have a lot else to sa
IâEUTMm going to take a break, and come back to the rest in a little bit. I have some errands to run.
I always love mad science. And mad science for a reason is even better. The rough crayon look is also very cool. I like that you took the time to give your characters names and histories/backstories.
Reminds me of the story of the frog and the scorpion. If your an exotic bird you shouldnt allow exotic bird eating spiders to ride on your back.
Haha, I didnâEUTMt expect anyone to take the mobster/drug dealer/addict route. A real surprise. I enjoyed it though! Even if it was kind of messed up. :D I would have really liked to see some color, or maybe a dirty texture or stain applied to this considering the nature of the material. Very good work though.
I donâEUTMt have a clue what is going on here man. Some chicks were fighting, and some demons attack and then they stopped fighting. ThatâEUTMs some crazy smack man. :D IâEUm just jerking your chain, good job getting it done! Stay cool man. :P
digsBot and Austin
Dark :O Everyone was so dark for this! ItâEUTMs FLIGHT man! That is something we humans use to attribute to the gods! FLying USED to be a super power! Haha, man... so much darkness. ItâEUTMs like weâEUTMre all jaded by it now or something. Well good work regardless! :D Easy to read and easy to follow, good story telling.
Again dark, no surprise there. But, well dude, your story telling was actually really good. The illustration could use some work, but like, this was SUPER easy to read and I actually really enjoyed it. The hat was a great addition to keep it from being too boring and yet it is something we all can relate to. I would REALLY like to see this redone and polished up. Fantastic work. I really enjoyed it.
Nice work, itâEUTMs like an anime/manga version of a cool steampunk story to something, or like like The Rocketeer. I like that being able to fly is still worthy of wonderment. Feels like the beginning of something bigger. I think the story telling and figure strength could use some work, all you can do if keep drawing and studying though. ItâEUTMll all fall into place. Good stuff, glad you finished! Keep it up!
Fantastic work as always man. I love the art, itâEUTMs simple and solid. And from panel one you established inspiration for the character. It is really neat and touching how youâEUTMve expanded the concept of a young bird learning to fly, to that of us humans ourselves leaving the next. So to speak. I can tell you really thought about it, good work. ItâEUTMs touching. Each of the characters seem to have a personality and the ending is sweet. Very cool work man.
At 8/30/12 08:21 AM, Hyptosis wrote: I thought IÃ¢EUTMd express my feelings and opinions on the works presented. IÃ¢EUTMm by no means the best comic creator in the world, I did work for 4 years in the industry but only as a colorist professionally. DonÃ¢EUTMt take my crits too hard, IÃ¢EUTMm just jotting down my thoughts as I read them in hopes that it helps you guys out in some way. I'm in no way suggesting that I am deserving of a position to judge anyone's work. That said, I am a judge. :P Thanks.
Thanks for the reviews Hyptosis, it's always helpful getting critiques from someone with industry experience.
I definitely appreciate that you took the time to review everyone's submissions, I'm sure you made a lot of people's day.
Thanks a lot for the feedback and advice Hyptosis. Also the Wally Wood sheet was very interesting to read, thanks for sharing that.
I'm gonna follow Hyptosis's example here. He has more experience with comics than me (all I've done is my webcomic, and my comics for these comic jams), but I'll see if I can give good critique since unfortunately there isn't that much opportunity for exposure with the comic jam. I won't go too into critiques of artistic ability, since you'd probably be better served getting critique on things you've spent more time on.
I understand you didn't have a lot of time to do this comic (having submitted it some 12 hours after the start of the Jam), which shows, really. The blank expressions and very direct dialogue give everything quite a surreal atmosphere, helped by what I thought was quite a bizarre punchline. Given the simplicity of the characters I thought it could have been improved by a bit more comedic exaggeration in the characters' movements, particularly in the page where one of the birdbats crashes into a tree, which had a bit too much of a stiffness to it, I thought. But then you did do it all very quickly, so I'm not sure if that was an issue related to the time you had to make it.
I enjoyed this comic quite a lot. I found the punchline a bit trite, but it was saved by some very pretty artwork with a lot of movement. Panels 4 and 5 were a little confusing to me, since they seemed like they should be the other way around, I don't know. Given panel 7 is one of the main components of the punchline, it was a little disappointing to see it drawn so sketchily. It doesn't take that much time to give more detail to a silhouette. But overall it was a good comic and I enjoyed it.
Cute character design, simple story. This is quite a fun little comic. You said that you were thinking about putting in dialogue, but I think that would have been detrimental. It's good as it is. Maybe it could have been fun to have the daydream expanded a little, to show what she imagines herself doing when riding the giant pigeon. Really that could lead to anything. But it's cute as it is.
I enjoyed the exchange between the main character and Dan the Cutter. I thought that was fun. I have to agree with Hyptosis that the panel composition/posing was rather dull. It's mostly looking at the same panel over and over. The fact that so many young artists use a 'sketchy style' as an excuse not to learn how to draw anything properly (just gotta get the general shape of everything right) makes the sketchiness of the whole thing look a little bit lazy. I may be being a bit presumptive here, but I hope you do go to the effort of learning how to draw without using sketchiness as a crutch.
I quite enjoyed this. It had some very nice colours going on. The final page made me laugh. Maybe I could have done without so many panels of a naked dude taking a piss, but that's just a personal thing I've got going on. You might need to learn how to properly guide people's eyes between non-standard panels, since at times it wasn't clear to me which panel I was supposed to move to next. It takes a lot to break people's natural inclination towards reading left to right.
Maybe it's the sketchiness of everything but I found it quite hard to tell what was going on in a number of pages. You might need to learn how to put a bit more detail in a panel to allow people to get a grip on where it's supposed to be and what's going on in it. It was very hard for me to work out what was happening in the clothes stealing story part of it, because you hadn't shown the guy who was stealing the clothes before he turned up in the guard's uniform. I just assumed he was a guard. The dialogue was good but felt a bit unpolished. A couple more edits and this could have been a decent Saturday morning cartoon (with some censoring, of course). Ed's character was maybe a bit too cliche in his one-note-ness. Overall it was fun though, once I got what was going on.
I liked the opening and closing sequences, but in general this felt a bit too much like vague nihilistic philosophical meandering. But then you go kind of optimistic at the end of it? I don't know. The actual comic aspects of it seemed a bit superfluous. The stick figures didn't really add anything to the monologue. If you took this format, and had some actual time to write structure a philosophical rumination on the nature of flight in a way that gave it a point, maybe it could be good. This felt a bit too much like "here's a bunch of nihilistic anecdotes" to me. Definitely very unique in the jam, though, so good on you for trying something different.
TurkeyOnAStick and Test-Object
Good art, though I didn't have any doubt about that. I am getting a little sick of seeing things where the joke is simply taking away the sincerity of something meant for children. "Dumbo's a film about believing in yourself, and accepting the things that make you different from others, but what if it wasn't that and actually Dumbo just died when he tried to fly? Ha ha." There's not really anything to it, for me.
This was kind of fun. A couple of bits made me chuckle. You're clearly trying to have interesting panel compositions, which is good. It might have done good for you to have a couple more detailed establishing shots before everyone started sitting in a brown void so that the reader could get more of an idea of what sort of location everything is. It should probably be 'empathy' at the end rather than 'sympathy'.
This all seemed kind of weirdly racist and made me feel bad for reading it.
This felt a bit too 'edgy' without proper justification (lots of violence, swears), maybe, but the speed at which everything went to shit made me enjoy it. Probably needed more jokes though. Art felt appropriate. It was easy to follow.
This is... Um... Wait I think... Huh? I don't even...
I really don't think invoking real life tragedy is a substitute for a well thought out story. Felt a little tasteless to me. I don't know. I've seen the whole listening to an answering machine message of a dead loved one thing maybe a bit too much, maybe. The art looked a little rushed. It is a simple of character design, but it managed to look different in every panel.
I've already given you my critique of your comic.
I enjoyed this but it finished before it went anywhere. A bit disappointing. The lack of detail made it a little hard to tell what was happening in a few panels. Could have used a drawing of the place where the mechanic/not seamstress was working to give it some context. Maybe you didn't have enough time, I don't know. That sort of thing is important though. It's harder to read through a scene when you don't know where everything is.
Thanks for your comments Aigis. I do quite like the look of a rough and sketchy style but I also definitely have a lot of learning to do. Do you have any good methods for improving my technique or any helpful books or DVDs, something to get me started?
At 8/31/12 07:46 AM, LegBanger wrote: Thanks for your comments Aigis. I do quite like the look of a rough and sketchy style but I also definitely have a lot of learning to do. Do you have any good methods for improving my technique or any helpful books or DVDs, something to get me started?
Practice practice practice.
As basically everyone will tell you, the first thing to do in art is to learn the fundamentals. Which is, you know, obvious. That's why they're called fundamentals. Learn how to draw real human anatomy before you go off cartooning everything. Learn that from drawing from life (real people, etc.), photos, read anatomy books, etc. Then learn how to simplify everything for whatever purpose you want. It makes everything easier. I find Andrew Loomis's books good for learning how to draw people. Though perhaps I'm not the best person to get advice on that from, since I'm not really very good at it.
Also don't force yourself to find a style. That's limiting in a lot of ways. If you practice a lot of different things eventually stylistic elements will come to you.
But since this is a comics thread, more important is advice about making comics. I don't REALLY have a lot of advice to give about comics. But I'll try to give some poorly thought out tips. I'm still learning myself so try not to take anything I say as gospel.
Based on this comic jam it seems a bunch of people haven't really been going to too much trouble to set up the location of a scene. I mentioned this in a couple of critiques I think. If you open a scene with some people standing in a featureless void people aren't going to know exactly where the characters are supposed to be. You still might be able to follow the comic just fine, as chances are the location isn't that important, but there's still going to be something of a disconnect between the audience and the characters if they don't know bits of information like that. A good idea generally is if you're moving to a new location in a comic to show an exterior shot of wherever it is, or at least an interior shot that gives you an idea that you're in a new location. You could just have some text saying "Location: XXXXX" but that's pretty lazy. If your script makes it awkward to have any of these sorts of panels, it's at the least a good idea to draw in a background before jumping to a featureless void.
Maybe I should also say that having characters talking around a featureless void is generally functional in a dialogue driven scene, but is kind of boring and lazy, in my opinion. In my own comic I generally take out the background only to punctuate certain things the character's doing or saying.
Try to keep the action within the panels interesting. If it's an action filled scene this will be easy, because everyone will be constantly moving around. But even if it's a scene of a couple of people talking you should make these attempts. If it's just a dialogue focused scene, where what they say is important, and all they have to do is stand around, why not have them perform an action? Maybe they can walk up to a vending machine and buy a drink and then drink that drink, I don't know. It's not going to affect the dialogue much but it's going to make it more interesting to look at. If that's not possible, at least vary up the composition of the panels and the posing of the characters. People generally move around while talking. They don't just stand with their arms at their sides. Even if they're sitting a table there are a lot of ways to move around. Don't fall prey to what Hyptosis called Floating Head Syndrome above.
I should probably note that posing is extremely important in comics. Since, unlike film or animation, comics are still, the pose of a character has to say a whole lot about them. There's too much about what poses say about a person for me to list quickly here while I procrastinate from my own comic, so look that stuff up.
The TVTropes article about floating head syndrome is about bad movie posters. That's a completely different thing.
I'm not going to say much about it here since there's far too much to say about it, but if you're doing a comic series making sure your characters are distinguishable by silhouette is very important so that the audience can instantly know who a character is. Different haircuts is not a substitute for this. I'm looking at you, generic anime. Here's a good blog post about that: Silhouettes: The Silent Killer. That's by the guy who makes the webcomic Dresden Codak. He did some other good blog articles about elements of comics before his blog just started being about whatever he's doing with his own comic, so check those out maybe.
I'm not sure how I can compress this into a short paragraph, but guiding people's eye around a page is a key element of comics. In general in Western society, people are conditioned to read everything left to right, before going down, including comics. Unless they've been reading a bunch of manga lately, in which case they might find them reading comics backwards. Generally the way you set up your panels should reflect this. If, all of a sudden, your comic expects people to move from right to left, then you need to set up everything to force them to do that. Maybe your panel borders can be diagonal in that direction. That's an easy way. Maybe all the lines in your panel can point towards that panel. Maybe your characters are looking towards the direction of that panel. I don't know. There are a million ways to do this.
I found the book Making Comics by Scott McCloud useful, since he's a guy who's clearly done a lot of research on comics. He also made the series Zot! which is fun if you're looking for a silly silver-age style comic. That's not advice, really. If you're interested in theory, his other books Understanding Comics and Reinventing Comics are also great reads.
I found the book Drawn to Life, a collection of lectures by Walt Stanchfield, to be quite useful for me. It's actually about animation, so some of it's irrelevant to comics, but all the principles of squash and stretch, perspective,exaggeration, whatever are all applicable.
For writing I tried reading some books on that some time, but I got bored very quickly. Most books on writing are by people who aren't very good writers. Maybe that doesn't matter. You don't need to be able to do a thing to know how to do it. If you can't do teach. But it still doesn't give me confidence in them. Am I being unfair to them? I don't know. I read a bit of a book by Orson Scott Card but man, I didn't even like Ender's Game.
Anyway that's all a bunch of stuff I wrote. Lots of words. Maybe it's useful? Maybe not?? You decide. The power is yours, man/woman.
Thanks for all of this Aigis, I wasn't expecting such an in-depth reply and I really appreciate it. This has given me a lot to look into and work on. The book Drawn To Life looks great as I am also interested in animation. I hadn't thought much about drawing human anatomy/figure drawing as the things I am interested in making (comics and animations) are cartoon based, but now you've said it it seems obvious to start with real life drawings. Thanks again, I found your post very helpful. Oh and I'm a man by the way.
At 8/30/12 11:57 PM, Aigis wrote: MiddleFingerRings
This felt a bit too 'edgy' without proper justification (lots of violence, swears), maybe, but the speed at which everything went to shit made me enjoy it. Probably needed more jokes though. Art felt appropriate. It was easy to follow.
Indeed, I can see how that could be the case. I find it easier to write longer things, so the swearwords and violence are usually more spaced out lul. I'll have to practice my short story writing some more.
Thanks for the critique, Aigis and Hyptosis!
Hey thanks for the critique guys, it means a lot to me and next time I'll add a bit of colour and see where it goes.