So nostalgic that it hurts.

[luigipwnsmario]

This may ramble a bit, and it will not be interesting.

Hey there, everyone. It's been a while. A few years, actually, since I've frequented this forum with all the passion that a stupid, somewhat autistic 12-13 year old could have put forth. I don't think any of you people will remember me... Come to think of it, I have no way of knowing whether or not the people that used these forums at that time still come here. But anyways.

As a wee young one (my first post here was at 11 years of age... wow), I would frequently come to this site to play games and watch movies (and even sneak over to the mature section from time to time). I didn't make an account and get serious about coming until I was 11. Even then, it took me a while to find the forums. And that is when it really got good...

I was voting 5 times a day to get that precious vote weight; I was using the content for the majority of my days, when I noticed that there was a section unbeknownst to me: the forums. Being a little kid, I wondered just what those were. Of course, I go in, and it was amazing. Follow me here for a bit. You're a small child, surely no older than 6, but no younger than 4. Everything in your house amazes you. Existence is a bloody wonder. The whole world existed in wherever you lived. You have to examine absolutely everything, holding it before you, taking in every single piece of information that your developing grey matter could process. Now, with that mindset, imagine walking outside, at a zoo, an airport, a museum. It seems so large to you; an unbreakable fortress of knowledge. Jaw on the floor, arms flopping, brain racing; the works. It is the most exciting thing you could imagine.

That was my first experience with the forums.

I added posting daily to my routine. If you feel like looking back, it was what you'd expect from a little kid. No grammar, stupid comments, unrelated pictures, because "lolsorandumb xD" was the shit back then. Not a care in the world, just a young boy, amazed by the reach of the internet. I would post in every topic, solely to post. I had a huge grin every time I posted. It was surreal to me then.

Then, I began to feel change. Not in the community, but in me. I had just entered middle school; I knew change was a-comin' at some point. I weaned myself off the randomness. I cleaned up the grammar a bit. I vividly remember the moment when I began using capital letters to start a sentence (There was a post here; something along the lines of "I can't live without my capital letters." Sir or madam, you changed my posting style forever in saying that. Thank you). I was becoming something, and it was exciting. Good, yes?

No.

Surely, you remember middle school. Everyone is changing, growing, and subsequently, forming pack mentality. There was a caste system. There was a food chain. Do you remember that one kid at the bottom of the barrel? The easy prey for the predator? I was that kid. I became that kid. Willingly. I decided to fit in with the emo subculture that I thought was cool. I grew my hair, bought skinnies, listened to shitty metal/death/post-hardcore music... I thought I was cool. I became broody and sad for no reason. I wanted so badly to be original, that I secluded myself from everyone, even those nice people that tried to become my friends. But who needed those anyways? I was an individual! I couldn't relate to the sheeple masses! I was a special snowflake! Give me attention! Waaaahhhhh!

So I came here. I wanted to be one of those popular users that everyone loved. Why? Attention. How? By (here was my mistake) being my usual, broody, woe-is-me self. I would post many times a day, I made a Stickam account so I could hang out with the cool kids in the chatroom, I replied to all of them... But with hindsight as my guide, I realize that I was stupid and annoying and immature. So, to all of you whom I idolized for some reason, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pestering you in the chat and on the forums.

And so, that went on through the 7th and 8th grades. I thought I was funny, but I wasn't. But what really matters to me? I had fun. I had so much fun here. This place was such an IMMENSE part of my growing up. The zoo, the airport, the museum became manageable to me. It became home, to a degree. It was fun, it was comforting, it was a place I could go and feel like a part of something. I loved it. A second home; a new place to explore endlessly.

Then, I hit high school, grew up, and lost time for it. The zoo, the airport, the museum had grown tired over the years, and there was a shiny new one just outside the gates. I left and never thought to look back, until right now.

Every letter I typed, every stupid sprite animation I watched, every joke I laughed at, every time I fantasized about being an animator, every game I played, every time I felt rebellious for going to the mature section, every song I heard on the audio portal, every single microcosm of a nanosecond I spent in this zoo, airport, museum, home. I cherish it all close to my heart.

I know I'll never get the same enjoyment out of it, though. The shiny new place called life is really nice.

I miss this zoo, airport, museum, home. Somewhere inside my heart, there is a 13 year old, somewhat autistic boy, that wants to go home.

I'm so nostalgic that it hurts.

I don't know why I posted this. I just felt a need to write it down somewhere. Closure for something, maybe? I don't know. But it felt good to type that.

[platypuspwn]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFZrzg62Zj0

[luigipwnsmario]

At 7/25/12 10:26 PM, platypuspwn wrote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFZrzg62Zj0

>>>/b/

[luigipwnsmario]

Woah. It's my 5th NG birthday in a couple days. A lot has changed in the last 4 years, for sure.

[TecNoir]

This would have been much better as a newspost. There is nothing to discuss here.

/Thread

[luigipwnsmario]

At 7/25/12 10:41 PM, TecNoir wrote: This would have been much better as a newspost. There is nothing to discuss here.

/Thread

Look, newfriend. That would imply that any discussing ever takes place here, ever. Stop white-knighting while you still can.

[DarkShadowblade]

I completely understand where you're coming from, this video was the first video I watched when I joined Newgrounds

[TecNoir]

At 7/25/12 10:42 PM, luigipwnsmario wrote:

At 7/25/12 10:41 PM, TecNoir wrote: This would have been much better as a newspost. There is nothing to discuss here.

/Thread

Look, newfriend. That would imply that any discussing ever takes place here, ever. Stop white-knighting while you still can.

Because maxninja234 totally isn't my alt. Also, white knighting? That doesn't even make sense.

[Kwing]

I can't believe I read that whole thing and at the end of it there's still nothing to talk about. Next time, blog it.

Maybe you miss being an ignorant twat of a pre-teen, but as you said in your own post, we don't.

[luigipwnsmario]

At 7/25/12 10:56 PM, Kwing wrote: I can't believe I read that whole thing and at the end of it there's still nothing to talk about. Next time, blog it.

Maybe you miss being an ignorant twat of a pre-teen, but as you said in your own post, we don't.

You could always make something to say. Perhaps share experiences from old times on Newgrounds? Stories? Something of the sort?

[Boomstick]

At 7/25/12 10:47 PM, DarkShadowblade wrote: I completely understand where you're coming from, this video was the first video I watched when I joined Newgrounds

ha, I like that one.

[Sword-of-Kings]

TL;DR?

notallcaps

[beardkiller]

ok since i saw the letter b heres alot of strawberry clocks favorite letter bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

[luigipwnsmario]

At 7/25/12 11:10 PM, ZeldaFan64DS wrote: TL;DR?

notallcaps

TL;DR: I had a great time here, and I miss it. Please share stories of good times on Newgrounds. :)

[argile]

Not to be rude what's with the odd use of zoo, airport, museum, home as the means of metaphors to use in your story for maybe 7 times but Yes I remember having such similar emotions when I was younger it was so neat at the time yet as with anything else there are somethings there was that turd that seemed interesting at the but really wasn't

[luigipwnsmario]

At 7/26/12 01:29 AM, argile wrote: Not to be rude what's with the odd use of zoo, airport, museum, home as the means of metaphors to use in your story for maybe 7 times but Yes I remember having such similar emotions when I was younger it was so neat at the time yet as with anything else there are somethings there was that turd that seemed interesting at the but really wasn't

To answer your question, It was to equate the sense of wonder I felt when I discovered the board to the sense of wonder a child feels in those places.
I don't exactly understand the second part of your statement, though.

[argile]

At 7/26/12 01:35 AM, luigipwnsmario wrote:

At 7/26/12 01:29 AM, argile wrote: Not to be rude what's with the odd use of zoo, airport, museum, home as the means of metaphors to use in your story for maybe 7 times but Yes I remember having such similar emotions when I was younger it was so neat at the time yet as with anything else there are somethings there was that turd that seemed interesting at the but really wasn't

To answer your question, It was to equate the sense of wonder I felt when I discovered the board to the sense of wonder a child feels in those places.
I don't exactly understand the second part of your statement, though.

it is to relate that under that sense of wonder and wanting to fit with other peers by even trying some of those cliches or trends ,you sort of realize it isn't quite what it was made out to be if you have to be something you're not.

[theguy313]

im reading this on my first time on this forum o_O

[Sword-of-Kings]

At 7/26/12 01:44 AM, theguy313 wrote: im reading this on my first time on this forum o_O

Nobody cares.

[Combatd]

At 7/25/12 10:23 PM, luigipwnsmario wrote: I miss this zoo, airport, museum, home. Somewhere inside my heart, there is a 13 year old, somewhat autistic boy, that wants to go home.

I'm so nostalgic that it hurts.

I don't know why I posted this. I just felt a need to write it down somewhere. Closure for something, maybe? I don't know. But it felt good to type that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzSR_TFMirs