Final Report

[Jackdabomb]

Something beautiful could be said about that bloodied man stumbling in a last ditch effort to get out of the complex. Something poetic perhaps, something about humanityâEUTMs desperate need of freedom. But in the end it is just another statistic, a case report being documented as I speak, to be filed away into the organizations vast collection of insignificant events that are deemed worthy of a few paragraphs. So why should I care? Why do I sit here and write about somebody who I hardly knew? Why care about a man who through my few interactions via intercom deemed me inhuman?
I write because I think he may have been right, I write because I think of what I did to him and I start to wonder if I ever had the right. This power of determining a manâEUTMs life or death, when had I acquired this? Why does no one stop me when I slaughter a hundred men, and why canâEUTMt I stop myself? So many questions, questions IâEUTMve yet to write and questions IâEUTMll never receive answers to. All of these questions brought to my mind by a dead man who has seen me only once. ThatâEUTMs all it took though, that drainage of life from his eyes, to make me remember. When I first started this, it was an organization of protecting, of containing that which hides in the dark, for the people of this earth. But look what itâEUTMs turned into, a mindless slaughterhouse, a place for endless experiments and limitless casualties.
IâEUTMve opened Containment Chamber #1, around here I'd say, "May God have mercy on our souls", but I've seen too much to be able to say that.
-The Administrator

[mhzinski]

I don't mind the writing but your premise seems kind of unrealistic that one person in a history of plenty of deaths decides to move your main character. It seems like if you had added a story before to explain the events it would be more enlightening and interesting to read than just a conclusion of a story. This whole "glimpse of a scene" thing doesn't work if it's not the most interesting part of the story or doesn't shed any light on it.

7.5/10 writing. Has me interested but I wish there were context on the part of the story that is difficult to write. The engaging long meaty center of the story arc isn't there. If it were, or even if some detail went into explaining it I would say it's 8-9 worthy.