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Cyberpunk/Superna tural Story Idea

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Sahariel
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Cyberpunk/Superna tural Story Idea 2012-07-05 06:40:21 Reply

I've been working on some concepts for a story that is, in essence, cyberpunk infused with supernatural elements. I've considered having the world become so artificial to the point where augmented reality could simulate walking through the zoo with animal behaviors and patterns as well as the touch of their fur and breath able to be simulated perfectly by super-computers.

Which ties into my main concept: it includes Heaven becoming materialized through virtual reality. People who are about to die that fear whether or not Heaven or Hell exists implant their conscious and subconscious into the system, which enables them to take on a form they desire (such as an elderly person taking the form of his younger self free of aching joints and medical issues) in a simulated Heaven. Despite massive outcries from Christians and citizens from other religions, it's proven popular amongst those who can afford it, even those who are about to die. It, however, begins to merge with the real Heaven, where real angels in Heaven abuse to recruit angels into their army and rob the citizens of VR Heaven of their free will for power and to "become closer to God". The demons of Hell believes this shatters the millennium long treaty which forbids Heaven and Hell from interfering with the living which prompts a "corruption of VR Heaven", which then leads to a major political assassination. I feel like I am on to something here, but your thoughts would be appreciated, especially tying this to the assassination (the original idea has an rogue angel assassinating the President of the United States, though something far less grandiose and more frightening would be more fitting).

I was wondering what your thoughts were. I welcome criticism however harsh, though I really do appreciate civility. Does it feel derivative? If so, what would you change?

Sahariel
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Response to Cyberpunk/Superna tural Story Idea 2012-07-05 06:41:44 Reply

are not about to die*

Bloody hell, not thinking straight here...:P

Sahariel
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Response to Cyberpunk/Superna tural Story Idea 2012-07-05 07:33:39 Reply

Considering a significant alteration: the demons of Hell hack it (not the angels) in retaliation for breaking a treaty (a rogue angel has killed a major political figure who's son exposed a vulnerability in VR programs using the engine VR Heaven is built upon, allowing it to be hacked).

mhzinski
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Response to Cyberpunk/Superna tural Story Idea 2012-07-05 16:30:43 Reply

The Virtual Reality Heaven thing seems cool in the Vanilla Sky type of way but I feel as though filling it with political intrigue and assassination of real world targets draw attention away from the VR Heaven which is what you should be trying to develop and immerse your reader in.

Also, it doesn't make sense that denizens or heaver/hell would only begin meddling in the real world because of some virtual heaven and you don't seem to explain why that only becomes feasible because of the virtual heaven. I think you should just stick to keeping the events set out of real world context and make it more fantasy driven sci-fi instead of sci-fi driven fantasy. That would make it more exciting interesting and unique in my opinion.