Hey. After a rather lengthy hiatus, I tried capturing a scene I wanted to write for the beginning of a fantasy novel I have been planning called "Epoch of the Brotherhood". Here's the synopsis:
"Mana, the crystalized essence of magic, has become ingrained in the lives and economy of the Tia'draian world. Mankind relies on it, elfkind worship it, and the enigmatic beast men who once feared it are now enslaved by it. With the power to augment the body and bend primal and elemental forces to the userâEUTMs will, the crystal's detrimental effects are ignored, and all three races plunder their continents, mining the crystal, refining it, and becoming addicted to it.
The crystals are exhaustible but the demand is endless. The Ackad Confederacy, an ailing democracy united by war, and the Kingdom of Ghath, a puppet regime of the Lodia Dominion, are in a bitter war for the remaining scraps of mana scattered throughout the continent of Theranir. Thousands dies each day, elves are enslaved as status symbols, and the Great War of Mana rages on.
Romau, an amnesiac sentenced to death for killing an entire Confederate ambush party, is rescued by two members of the mercenary band âEUoeThe BrotherhoodâEU and recruited into their fold, but not before exposing his terrifying power during the prison break: the ability to summon and utilize mana without crystals.
After his initiation, Romau is assigned to the tutelage of the fame-seeking leader of the band, a former Knight of Lodia named Chesmarn. However, the Confederacy is on the hunt for Romau, the Empire and the Dominion closing in on the rumors of the mysterious âEUoeOldrait KeldradâEU prophesized by the EmperorâEUTMs seer, and a cult called the Order of Xanartias demands their prophet for the resurrection of their pagan gods. The Gods are watching them. Where will the Wheel of Fate stop?"
The beginning of the story begins with him in prison trying to remember his life, but failing. All he remembers is when he woke up in a snowstorm. This was my first attempt to capture the whole "amnesiac in a snowstorm" scene which I feel sets up the character of Romau nicely. Any comments or suggestions for improvement would benefit me greatly.
I huddled on the grimy stone floor motionless, sweat seeping into the fiery marks on my back as the light peered through the beads as if they were miniature magnifying glasses. The chain bit into my ankle like the fangs of a snake, robbing me the feeling of my right foot.
Attempting to swim through my consciousness for fragments of who I was, in hopes for even a memory, I drowned beneath the raging currents. All I was now was some manslayer, enemy of freedom, spy for someone or something I don't even know.
All I remember before I had slain my fellow âEUoehumansâEU was waking to the howling of the wind, short of breath and feeling the cold wind cut through me to the bone.
I remember that I shot up in the middle of the storm. Questions like âEU~Where was I? What is going on?âEUTM pounded my heart and mind with furor as I shook uncontrollably as I jerked backwards in short steps. I fell into the snow. Gasping for air, the snow rushed into my teary eyes. I was going to âEUoedieâEU.
Yet, why do I know what death was? I knew nothing about myself, where I was, or anything, yet I knew this was snow, this was cold, and I was dying. Was I alone? Were there people here? I couldnâEUTMt die alone, not without knowing what I am.
The word âEUoehumanâEU came to me. Was this what I was? Where are other âEUoehumansâEU? I needed answers. I wanted to die, to end of the numbness in my body, but I was afraid. I couldnâEUTMt dieâEU¦not yetâEU¦not without knowing why. Dying alone with no purposeâEU¦an empty lifeâEU¦I couldnâEUTMt do it.
That was the first time I knew fearâEU¦that I felt âEUoehumanâEU. So alien, yet so familiar. So comforting, yet soâEU¦frightening.
Beyond the snowy veil I saw nothing but an endlessly flat landscape with snow-capped mountains seemingly miles away. As I shivered with every crunch of snow beneath my blue feet, the endless stream of clouds above trapped the life giving rays of the sun. Streaks on the crests of the hills formed patterns from the gusting winds as flocks of birds scavenged the corpses of mice, sneezing, sniffling, and coughing from their inflamed lungs as they braved the cold for their morning breakfast.
With nothing but the salty taste of sweat on my lips, I carried on as my legs wobbled uncontrollably until I fell to the snow. I felt as if a beast was clawing its way from the inside of my stomach, my throat so dry that it hurt to cough. I wanted warmth. I wanted life. Most importantly, I needed food.