So bringing up homebrew, my ex friend (as of right now) recommended I try to brew some kombucha.
Being a decent and civilized person, I of course had no idea what an vile stagnant concoction it was, so I looked it up.
Basically, kombucha is literally rancid tea. It's green or black sweetened tea with a disgusting layer of bacteria growing out of it.
I could not possibly be making this up. The layer of rot is called a SCOBY, because it has begun to evolve intelligence and needs a name. Little maggoty tendrils of rot connect the bottom of a stank jar of rancid tea to the lump of festering pus on top.
How the hell could people possibly drink this shit? It has 1% alcohol tops, and is half vinegar.
Needless to say, my ex friend (now just an acquaintance for suggesting I drink this shit) just moved to California, so now I know that all Californians eat rotten shit they find in the back of the fridge and call it macrobiotics. GOOD JOB YOU DIRT EATING HIPPIES.