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Kombucha is disgusting

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FUNKbrs
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Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 02:30 AM Reply

So bringing up homebrew, my ex friend (as of right now) recommended I try to brew some kombucha.

Being a decent and civilized person, I of course had no idea what an vile stagnant concoction it was, so I looked it up.

Basically, kombucha is literally rancid tea. It's green or black sweetened tea with a disgusting layer of bacteria growing out of it.

I could not possibly be making this up. The layer of rot is called a SCOBY, because it has begun to evolve intelligence and needs a name. Little maggoty tendrils of rot connect the bottom of a stank jar of rancid tea to the lump of festering pus on top.

How the hell could people possibly drink this shit? It has 1% alcohol tops, and is half vinegar.

Needless to say, my ex friend (now just an acquaintance for suggesting I drink this shit) just moved to California, so now I know that all Californians eat rotten shit they find in the back of the fridge and call it macrobiotics. GOOD JOB YOU DIRT EATING HIPPIES.


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Knights
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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 02:35 AM Reply

When looking it up on Wikipedia, it instantly reminded me of the kind of water that has guinea worms in it. Also, the fact that it's described as a "functional food" is hilarious to me for some reason.


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HipnikDragomir
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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 03:33 AM Reply

At 6/13/12 02:30 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: my ex friend

Your what?


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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 04:12 AM Reply

Let's eat garbage for fun!


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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 06:56 AM Reply

Fermented shit owns.


wolf piss

FUNKbrs
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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 07:14 PM Reply

At 6/13/12 03:33 AM, jjjkuk wrote:
At 6/13/12 02:30 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: my ex friend
Your what?

My ex friend.

He was my friend. He he suggested I brew up a pot of rancid bacteria and fungus and drink it.

No true friend does that.


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Knights
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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 07:20 PM Reply

At 6/13/12 07:14 PM, FUNKbrs wrote:
At 6/13/12 03:33 AM, jjjkuk wrote:
At 6/13/12 02:30 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: my ex friend
Your what?
My ex friend.

He was my friend. He he suggested I brew up a pot of rancid bacteria and fungus and drink it.

No true friend does that.

What do you think cheese, penicillin and yogurt's made of? In fact, a lot of what we eat is fermented for long period's of time.


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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 07:22 PM Reply

Drive to California and slap him with the layer of bacteria and filth.

FUNKbrs
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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 07:33 PM Reply

At 6/13/12 07:20 PM, knightsofthecircle wrote:
What do you think cheese,

Does not contain bacteria

penicillin

Does not contain bacteria

and yogurt's made of?

Does not contain fungus

In fact, a lot of what we eat is fermented for long period's of time.

True, but it's fermented by a SINGLE culture of microbe, not a disgusting grab bag mix of them! Things fermented with yeast like bread? Fine.

Things fermented with bactera like vinegar? Disgusting, yes, but understandable.

Things fermented with something so sickly rotten and indiscriminate it has evolved to have it's own name and is an organism unto itself named SCOBY?

No. No.

When the bacteria/fungus living in something has a first name like a human baby, the fucking line has been goddamn crossed.


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Response to Kombucha is disgusting Jun. 13th, 2012 @ 07:38 PM Reply

In my opinion, Kombucha just tastes like beer (only infinitely less revolting)

I'm certainly not the biggest advocate for the drink, but I enjoy it every now and then.


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