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I just killed a spider

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Alphabetetical
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I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:05 AM Reply

It's currently 1:00 A.M. I just killed a spider by squishing it with a golf score card. It was soon after this I realized something was wrong. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw another one disappear into the small space between the door and wall of my computer stand. It knows. It fucking knows what I just did. As I type this, I continuously see it poking out from between that space. Every time I look over, it disappears again. Mother of God help me guys.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:08 AM Reply

enjoy this thought

I just killed a spider


call me toxie 0.~
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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:08 AM Reply

At 5/6/12 03:05 AM, Alphabetetical wrote: It knows. It fucking knows what I just did.

Lie on the floor and act like a spider. Tell the one hiding it was a private dispute and you have no quarry with it. It will invite you to its web for a couple beers. Humour it, speak briefly and leave on peaceful terms.


I'll probably read this in ten minutes and facepalm. - RageVI

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:09 AM Reply

I hope he eats your brain for killing his friend.

RIP Mr Spider


[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:12 AM Reply

It's becoming more brave. Coming further and further out of that black, empty, demon holstering space between to door and wall. I would use the score card to squish this one as well, but that would simply be in bad taste. Even spider killing has its own Geneva Convention. I have run out of weapons. Time is running out.


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VJF
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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:13 AM Reply

Stop taking LSD and you won't have that problem.

Seriously tho, get a can of bug spray, a shoe, your mom or dad, anything to kill it. I hate those things. I don't care what people say, they kill bugs, and household pests, blah, blah, blah, they are still creepy as shit and of course poisonous (some not all; but that's still enough to make me kill any I see).

You'd be creeped out by them too if you had to grow up in Oklahoma, and every night when you had the urge to piss, you went to your bathroom (this was between ages of 8-12 mind you) and after turning on the light you find yourself staring at 8-12 daddy longleg spiders surrounding your toilet, and having to piss around them because you were too afraid to kill them because you thought the others would seek revenge.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:15 AM Reply

Stop being paranoid, kill the other one, and get over it. Problem solved. Thinking rationally can get you somewhere, you know.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:17 AM Reply

At 5/6/12 03:13 AM, VJF wrote: You'd be creeped out by them too if every night when you had the urge to piss, you went to your bathroom (this was between ages of 8-12 mind you) and after turning on the light you find yourself staring at 8-12 daddy longleg spiders surrounding your toilet, and having to piss around them because you were too afraid to kill them because you thought the others would seek revenge.

Daddy long legs are like flies... barely worth a thought. I would have imagined having that much exposure to them would have desensitized you but apparently not...


I'll probably read this in ten minutes and facepalm. - RageVI

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:20 AM Reply

Spiderman will not be pleased to hear about this.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:21 AM Reply

At 5/6/12 03:08 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote: Lie on the floor and act like a spider. Tell the one hiding it was a private dispute and you have no quarry with it. It will invite you to its web for a couple beers. Humour it, speak briefly and leave on peaceful terms.

That only appears to have made it more aggressive. It is becoming more unreasonable, and I fear all out war is at stake if we cannot mutually come to terms. The spider has the advantage of guerrilla warfare, though.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:25 AM Reply

It appears I must take the chance of sleeping with the fiend alive and lurking in the abyss. I will post back tomorrow if nothing has killed me. If you do not hear from me tomorrow, please, take this as a lesson to never fuck with spiders. I bid you adieu, fellow Newgrounders.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:27 AM Reply

At 5/6/12 03:17 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote: Daddy long legs are like flies... barely worth a thought. I would have imagined having that much exposure to them would have desensitized you but apparently not...

Nope. It's not the fact that they are spiders, but the fact that they have more than 4 legs. Really don't like anything with more than 4 legs. Don't know why, bugs and spiders just creep me the fuck out.


"I await the sweet release of Death. And I plan to take my enemies with me."---Unknown source.
"You're a bit of a ghoul - aren't you?"---ZeroAsALimit.

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:31 AM Reply

Heh. Give it a fly and then it'll hopefully accept it as a ceasefire treaty. With any luck, you'll not be hunted down by the spider and your eyes won't be used as a crawling space.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 03:57 AM Reply

You weirdos. I always enjoy spiders and name any in my room and keep them safe. They get rid of icky bugs. I don't think I've ever had a bite, either. There's really no reason to kill them unless you see a brown recluse or black widow.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 05:00 AM Reply

At 5/6/12 03:08 AM, FIGMENTUM wrote:
At 5/6/12 03:05 AM, Alphabetetical wrote: It knows. It fucking knows what I just did.
Lie on the floor and act like a spider. Tell the one hiding it was a private dispute and you have no quarry with it. It will invite you to its web for a couple beers. Humour it, speak briefly and leave on peaceful terms.

Yes. Then mate with their females.

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 05:15 AM Reply

Spiderbros thread!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NguTypiXqqY
ILLEGAL MARIJUANA RELATED ACTIVITIES
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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 06:41 AM Reply

You follow these instructions:
1. Block the hole for the spider hole
If the spider gets out:
2. SQUASH IT
If you can't:
3. Commit Suicide (problem solved)
If thousands of spiders begin swarming around you:
3. Wake up, loser.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 06:44 PM Reply

I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you of my safety sooner. As soon as I woke up this morning, the spider had left me a note telling me that it had made me breakfast in bed. I ate the three eggs and pieces of bacon it left me, but there are no signs of the spider. I would love to inform it of my appreciation, but how?


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 06:56 PM Reply

Don't forget to lock your windows tonight!

I just killed a spider

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 07:28 PM Reply

At 5/6/12 06:44 PM, Alphabetetical wrote: I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you of my safety sooner. As soon as I woke up this morning, the spider had left me a note telling me that it had made me breakfast in bed.

Be carefull, this spider is trying to lure you into something.

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 07:35 PM Reply

That spider is going lay eggs in your mouth while you sleep.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 07:38 PM Reply

I had a pretty epic squabble with a spider some months ago. It was past 1a.m., I believe, and I managed to kill it. What a triumph.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 08:48 PM Reply

You need to set up a spider shrine for the spider, to show your gratitude. Include presents and fine cuisine.

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 09:07 PM Reply

The breakfast in bed was most certainly a set-up. I stepped outside to grab the newspaper, and a crossbow arrow flew by my head with a note attached saying, "I'm not mad." While I typically never question the honesty of a post-it stuck to an arrow, I believe I'll start now. Well played, Mister Spider. Well played. This marks the beginning of war.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 09:53 PM Reply

At 5/6/12 09:07 PM, Alphabetetical wrote: The breakfast in bed was most certainly a set-up. I stepped outside to grab the newspaper, and a crossbow arrow flew by my head with a note attached saying, "I'm not mad."

I'd be careful if I were you. I've learned never to trust those bastards.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 09:57 PM Reply

At 5/6/12 09:53 PM, Kunera wrote:
At 5/6/12 09:07 PM, Alphabetetical wrote: The breakfast in bed was most certainly a set-up. I stepped outside to grab the newspaper, and a crossbow arrow flew by my head with a note attached saying, "I'm not mad."
I'd be careful if I were you. I've learned never to trust those bastards.

And bastards they are. Sneaky ones too. I fear it may come down to chemical warfare soon enough. There may be an impending Raid strike on the horizon.


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 10:00 PM Reply

At 5/6/12 09:57 PM, Alphabetetical wrote: And bastards they are. Sneaky ones too. I fear it may come down to chemical warfare soon enough. There may be an impending Raid strike on the horizon.

Use Mortein motherfucker!

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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 10:17 PM Reply

At 5/6/12 10:00 PM, WhaleSnail wrote: Use Mortein motherfucker!

By that, do you mean that you bash the spiders with the can or spray them with the Mortein?


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Response to I just killed a spider May. 6th, 2012 @ 10:19 PM Reply

At 5/6/12 10:17 PM, Gimmick wrote:
At 5/6/12 10:00 PM, WhaleSnail wrote: Use Mortein motherfucker!
By that, do you mean that you bash the spiders with the can or spray them with the Mortein?

YOU JUST BLEW MY FUCKIN' MIND