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A wizard breaks in your house.

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Peony
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A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 04:33 PM Reply

A wizard breaks into your house and steals every valuable possession you own. You report this crime to the local guards, and after 5 or 6 days of searching, you eventually uncover the address of this Wizard.

The Wizard, in his sweet seniority, reveals that he has used a magic spell to transform your possessiosn into solid gold, gold that will be used to feed starving orphans in a nearby village.

What do you do?


I would punch him in the face.

DJ-Chilvan
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 04:35 PM Reply

At 4/29/12 04:33 PM, Peony wrote: A wizard breaks into your house and steals every valuable possession you own. You report this crime to the local guards, and after 5 or 6 days of searching, you eventually uncover the address of this Wizard.

The Wizard, in his sweet seniority, reveals that he has used a magic spell to transform your possessiosn into solid gold, gold that will be used to feed starving orphans in a nearby village.

What do you do?

cut off his magical balls, kill him, take the gold, sell it, and buy all my valuables back THEN use the leftover cash to feed starving orphans in a nearby village


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VJF
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 04:38 PM Reply

Put down the book and burn it because it has a ridiculous premise. Wizards wouldn't be that nice to orphans.


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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 04:40 PM Reply

Shoot him in the head. Take my possessions back, gold or otherwise.

Lemonardo
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 04:47 PM Reply

I will tell the wizard that while gold is non-toxic, it doesn't taste very nice.


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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 04:49 PM Reply

I'd pull out my wand, use an Avada kedavra and take all my gold. I'd use the gold to buy better stuff than I had and eat the rest of the gold.


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 04:49 PM Reply

give me 1/4 of my stuff back (the gold) so I can buy new stuff so he can turn it into gold again and get rich while feeding more orphans!

great way you keep karma and get rich!

Pokemonpoeguygcn
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 05:00 PM Reply

At 4/29/12 04:33 PM, Peony wrote: The Wizard, in his sweet seniority, reveals that he has used a magic spell to transform your possessiosn into solid gold, gold that will be used to feed starving orphans in a nearby village.

What do you do?

I don't give a flying fuck about starving orphans or gold. I would just kill him and take back all of my stuff and all of his possessions.

Dawnslayer
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 05:24 PM Reply

Patiently explain to the wizard that creating more gold only lessens its monetary value, and the laptop probably would have sold for more than its weight in gold anyway.

Wizards. Not a scrap of logic in them.

Gramiscus
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 05:40 PM Reply

Obviously this wizard isself-serving, insane and already knows that I think he is insane.

I guess we're all fucked.


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HipnikDragomir
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 05:45 PM Reply

Tell him that instead of messing with my things, he should mess with the things of assholes or rich people.


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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 08:56 PM Reply

I choke him to death and watch the life fade from his eyes as I maliciously wrap my hands tighter and tighter around his neck.


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Wagggs
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 09:44 PM Reply

Where the fuck do I live that has a village full of starving people?


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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 09:46 PM Reply

Bend over. Take it in the ass. Go home. Make peanut butter sandwich with strawberry jam. Sleep.

SigmaNoob
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 29th, 2012 @ 09:48 PM Reply

You must be really high, ask something else.


Hey man, hows it goin?

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Lionelion
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 12:17 AM Reply

Force that SOB to turn my things back from being gold to whatever they were through any means possible, violent or otherwise, then turn him over to the cops, but not before learning all his wizardry secrets

Rallard
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 12:56 AM Reply

At 4/29/12 04:33 PM, Peony wrote: What do you do?

I'd fap.


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SpazzmuhTazzmuhRazz
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 01:57 AM Reply

At 4/29/12 04:33 PM, Peony wrote: What do you do?

First of all, Peony- your sig fits...you must have done this on purpose and I commend you for the commitment to the post.
Second, I would probably be very angry and then decide to not care because I don't really own anything of extreme monetary value.


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BlubbOnly
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 02:37 AM Reply

I would get my gold back and give some to the orphans.


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Gimmick
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 04:59 AM Reply

I'd then realize I don't have any "valuable" items, just that I have "a little less than valuable" items


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Shauna
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 05:01 AM Reply

Where the fuck am I living in, fable?


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Lucy
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 01:06 PM Reply

Attempt to gain justice by being granted access to the wizarding community.


Release your inner crazy.

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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 05:03 PM Reply

At 4/29/12 04:33 PM, Peony wrote: What do you do?

Make him change my stuff back to what it was, get it all back, and tell him if he wants to help starving orphans he can do it by magically creating food for them instead of stealing my gear.

Boomstick
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 05:03 PM Reply

steal all his stuff and keep it for your own use.
Hammurabi's code mang


I HДVЗИ'T ЭДTЗЙ SLICЭD ЬЯЗДD SIИCЭ I ШДS TЩЗLVЭ

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Gagsy
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 05:05 PM Reply

Why care about my stuff? I've just met a wizard! I ask him to be my best friend forever.


[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]

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Wegra
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. Apr. 30th, 2012 @ 05:35 PM Reply

You can't eat gold you sell it and THEN give it to the orphans.

Dumbass


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Halberd
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. May. 1st, 2012 @ 07:42 AM Reply

Plead with him to give me some of the gold back because you don't just steal a persons possessions like that even if you gonna turn it into gold for the starving


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Makakaov
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. May. 1st, 2012 @ 07:49 AM Reply

At 4/29/12 04:33 PM, Peony wrote: The Wizard, in his sweet seniority, reveals that he has used a magic spell to transform your possessiosn into solid gold, gold that will be used to feed starving orphans in a nearby village.

What do you do?

Take out my wand and yell "Avada Kadabra".

Doctor-Pepper
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Response to A wizard breaks in your house. May. 1st, 2012 @ 08:15 AM Reply

Report him to the magic embassy. It is a known fact that when a wizard donates anything to the poor, it is never really free and he expect sexual favors in return while molesting the children.