Growing Up In Your Family

[The-Great-One]

When it comes to many people in the world, we are raised by adults. Whether they be our parents, grandparents, one parent, or foster parents. We all come from someplace, somewhere, something, and are raised by someone. Those who do raise us, have their own beliefs that they themselves had required from those who raised them, and thus they were molded to either be better than that of those who raised them or to shun those beliefs in place of others that they themselves see to be healthier or with better morality for the child that they are raising.

It is not uncommon for one who has life that they want this life to become better, to be all it can be, many who raise their young want this. For your child to live a long and happy life, this either follows in the form of traditions set down through out the cycle of life from those who raised you to your own child. This makes sense, therefore to many it is common sense.

Many will tell you that there is no guide on raising your child, there is no manual, and they are right. For the human species is too complex to follow the same patterns that other species do when raising their young. There are signs though, because although we are all too complex we are all also still animals and therefore we have the inner workings of animals.

Children learn from observing their adult parents, the ones raising them. They follow their guidelines, beliefs, and much more. They are very impressionable at this young of an age... so what is said to them will usually stick, until the teenage years and that is when they truly begin to develop through puberty and thus different conflicting feelings become a part of them. The question is though, what should fill the minds of children? What usually does?

In my family I was raised to be a Christian, to reject many different things in the world as false. Part of my family are racists. A majority of my family are Republican conservatives, and most of them don't even know what those terms really mean anymore. I was taught that many different people in this world was evil, either by their skin color, where they came from, what their beliefs were, or how they voted. I was taught to reject evolution and believe straight forward in creationism and all the stories of the bible. That's pretty much where it would all come back to is and was always the bible. I was a child though, I didn't necessarily need any evidence for something my parents told me, because I believed it completely. As I got older though, I started to question more and more... I became agnostic over time and stayed this way for many years.

Now for those of you who have read this far (or at least looked for hot button words through skimming) know that this is a religion thread for the most part. Well you see that is where I am intrigued. I was raised in a way by my father and was told things by some members of my family that if I took it all in I would be a different person from what I am today. However my mother and another part of my family taught me to be kind and caring to people and be open minded. Throughout the years I was open to many different ideas and people and I still am today. I went through a lot to get there though, questioning who I was as a person, my religion, and those within it as well.

I want to know other people's stories though. If you are an atheist, I want to know your story of whether or not you were brought up into a religious household and/or community and how you came to be an atheist. Also if you are a religious individual and you too were brought up in a religious household and/or community, why are you still religious and have you given the side of the atheists a fair shot and done the research yourself?

I wonder if raising children in a religious household is harmful to them. By teaching them one thing, but not teaching them another? We know that religion can and has been harmful in the world, but within one's own household, what effects do they have on that of the children? Is it brainwashing or is it merely tradition that is not brought into question?

[Emma]

I was raised in a Christian household as well, went through a period of Agnosticism, spent a year in Deism, and then came back to Christianity after I actually educated myself and weighed out all the other possibilities. I'm probably what you would call a faithless Christian. I need to rely on as little blind faith as possible - ideally the only thing I should need to believe without proof is the existence of God. Logic allows all other claims I have found after that.

Honestly, if people would just follow the teachings, we wouldn't have so much hatred towards Christianty/religion in general. People on the outside see racism, stereotypes, and discrimination and automatically assume that the faith warrants any of that.

[SirFinland]

My parents raised me to be a regular law abiding citizen.

[gamejunkie]

I never forced my beliefs or lack of them on my daughter. When the time came and she started asking questions I explained where I stood on the whole religious thing and told her she must make her own decision. I hate people who try and push their religious beliefs on other people.

[Wurfel-Waffles]

I went to a Wiccan foster family when I was 3 and a half. i grew up in an unstable family. Dad was a drunk. Mom had drug. I love Wiccan and Norse mythology but I do not worship them. At the age of 16 I was completely out of the family belief and officially become an atheist.

The reason why I choose to become atheist because it is reasonable for me to actually have solid knowledge on what I'm receiving of future uses. I don't like to follow ideas of other.

[Shade]

My parents are divorced, my dad's pretty Right-wing and thinks that I should be his subservient. My mom is pretty much the opposite. My dad took me to Church every other Sunday and my mom just let me chill at home. I had no clue what to believe in and I still don't. I figure that I'll figure it out eventually.

[The-Great-One]

At 4/17/12 08:45 PM, Shade wrote: My parents are divorced, my dad's pretty Right-wing and thinks that I should be his subservient. My mom is pretty much the opposite. My dad took me to Church every other Sunday and my mom just let me chill at home. I had no clue what to believe in and I still don't. I figure that I'll figure it out eventually.

That sounds similar to that of how my family worked, however we never went to church. You do not know what to believe in, the question is though what would you pass down to your children after being raised the way you have been? This is what makes me wonder on how things are passed down and taught from generation to generation.

[SKHM]

my mother is a celtic reconstructionist who told me when i was about 12 that i could believe anything i wanted

she wasn't too concerned with turning me into her

although i did have to endure her crappy new age music and smells

my father is just a capitalist/jew (and white collar felon)

he has no religion, unless getting money by any means possible is a religion

growing up i never went to any religious institution, my parents never cared what i watched/played/listened to, and i grew up in a very libertine household

[Swag-in-a-Bag]

I was raised a Christian from the birth, and found a love for God at a very young age; even before I could fully grasp or understand the concept, I just knew something out there was greater than me, my family, and everything else there is.

It's hard to explain and fully comprehend with a carnal mind, but everything in the Universe is just too perfect and self-sufficient for there not to be something that design it all.

I also study many religions, but none come close to Jesus and his teachings, and the Bible still holds relevancy even till this day; and it will be that way until Christ returns.

[Zippy-MyMusic]

My parents are agnostic. I told them I wanted to become a Buddhist, and they had no problem with it. I have Christian relatives that hate any religion that doesn't worship Jesus though. It's kind of annoying.

[dlxrevolution]

Moms a traditional Baptist Christian. Dads a pretty open minded guy who started out as a Christian but ended up becoming Agnostic. I took after my Dad.

[SpaceWhale]

Both of my parents are atheists.

[Wurfel-Waffles]

At 4/17/12 10:12 PM, SpaceWhale wrote: Both of my parents are atheists.

You lucky chap.

[The-Great-One]

At 4/17/12 10:12 PM, SpaceWhale wrote: Both of my parents are atheists.

This was the one I was sort of waiting for actually. Because it does intrigue me. Your parents are both atheists, did they have relatives who were atheists or were they brought up in religious households and then they themselves became atheists? Also were you raised with the absence of religion? Were you shown both and left to decide? How were you yourself raised? What were you taught and told by your parents?

[SpaceWhale]

At 4/17/12 10:15 PM, The-Great-One wrote: This was the one I was sort of waiting for actually. Because it does intrigue me. Your parents are both atheists, did they have relatives who were atheists or were they brought up in religious households and then they themselves became atheists?

All of their parents were Christians, and my parents were raised Christian, but both of them converted to atheism. I'm fairly sure none of their parents mind, since my mom and dad are very open about it around them.

Also were you raised with the absence of religion?

Not that I can remember. She kinda told me about it once or twice, but I'd never thought seriously about religion until a year or so ago.

Were you shown both and left to decide?

I guess you could say that. My mom said stuff along the lines of "you can grow up however you want", but they talked about atheism and Christianity so much that I never found the logic in converting to Christianity.

How were you yourself raised? What were you taught and told by your parents?

My parents basically told me "Don't be a dick, and don't get in trouble". They were really firm in my younger years, too. Not abusive, but they kept a fairly tight grip on me to make sure I didn't turn out to be an asshole (which I like to think was successful).

Hope I answered your questions well enough.

[The-Great-One]

At 4/17/12 10:21 PM, SpaceWhale wrote: Hope I answered your questions well enough.

You have. So your parents were raised Christian, they converted. So I guess you yourself are an atheist. What made you come to this decision and how do you intend on raising your own children?

[BumFodder]

At 4/17/12 08:17 PM, The-Great-One wrote: I wonder if raising children in a religious household is harmful to them. By teaching them one thing, but not teaching them another? We know that religion can and has been harmful in the world, but within one's own household, what effects do they have on that of the children? Is it brainwashing or is it merely tradition that is not brought into question?

Well, my family isnt religious at all like most people in the country, but I guess I did believe in god at first. It was more like believing in santa or something rather than truly believing. Since my mum was late getting me into a school for whatever reason, I had to go to the only one with spaces which was a religious school. It was a really poor quality school, and I was forced to go to their church on thursdays.

I would just sit there bored and not listening, and as in the same ways I had stopped believing in santa and such, I was just thinking about stuff and started thinking about how stupid it is that everyone was going on about this guy who obviously didnt exist. I suppose that was when I really started thinking over things properly aswell and stopped acting a stupid little shit since I was thinking about things for once and got my mum to make me go to another school since I hated it so much.

[SpaceWhale]

At 4/17/12 10:25 PM, The-Great-One wrote: You have. So your parents were raised Christian, they converted. So I guess you yourself are an atheist. What made you come to this decision and how do you intend on raising your own children?

I never really came to the decision of being an atheist, it was more of me just never thinking about religion, and then it just coming to me that I was an atheist. When I was younger, I never really understood religion. I knew there was god, but... it just never made actual sense to me like it would to a Christian who knows what they're believing. Since I couldn't comprehend it, I just chose more to put it off. And when I finally did learn (and fully understand) what atheism and Christianity really were and what they were about, atheism had just kind of clicked in my mind. I will attribute a lot of that (or all of it) to my parents. If I was raised in a Christian household, there's no doubt that I'd have been raised Christian.

[The-Great-One]

At 4/17/12 10:06 PM, dlxrevolution wrote: Moms a traditional Baptist Christian. Dads a pretty open minded guy who started out as a Christian but ended up becoming Agnostic. I took after my Dad.

The question is though why. What did each of them teach you and talk to you about?

[SpaceWhale]

At 4/17/12 10:41 PM, The-Great-One wrote: The question is though why. What did each of them teach you and talk to you about?

It wasn't often specifically to me, it was more often to each other about the goings-on of religion and how they are against the stupid shit they're doing. They're never really talked to me, but the fact that religion was not at all a big thing in our house plus the fact that I heard them down-talking religion so much made me more inclined to want to reject it.

[The-Great-One]

At 4/17/12 10:45 PM, SpaceWhale wrote: It wasn't often specifically to me, it was more often to each other about the goings-on of religion and how they are against the stupid shit they're doing. They're never really talked to me, but the fact that religion was not at all a big thing in our house plus the fact that I heard them down-talking religion so much made me more inclined to want to reject it.

So would you say your life is better because of this or worse? Please keep in mind that I'm trying to be condescending or anything, I'm just looking for information.

[TheMajormel]

My father is catholic, mother is christian.

Ehh, to be honest, they didn't raise me well. They are both deaf but here's how it goes:
Father: "You should be a tough urban kid, listening to rap and rock and roll!"
Mother:" You should always look good, so don't wear anything ugly"

My aunt plays a role too, since she is a christian, she really wants me to get into religion more, and I'm afraid to say I'm agnostic.

[SpaceWhale]

At 4/17/12 10:48 PM, The-Great-One wrote: So would you say your life is better because of this or worse? Please keep in mind that I'm trying to be condescending or anything, I'm just looking for information.

I really have to say it's made me a better person. My parents taught me about trying to accept everyone regardless of who they are (Not saying Christians don't do this!), and being an atheist has helped me in that regard because I didn't have the Bible to tell me who to like and who to dislike (Please don't take offense to this, I'm sorry). Plus there's the fact that I'm gay, and being gay in a Christian household would probably suck.

[The-Great-One]

At 4/17/12 10:53 PM, SpaceWhale wrote: I really have to say it's made me a better person. My parents taught me about trying to accept everyone regardless of who they are (Not saying Christians don't do this!), and being an atheist has helped me in that regard because I didn't have the Bible to tell me who to like and who to dislike (Please don't take offense to this, I'm sorry). Plus there's the fact that I'm gay, and being gay in a Christian household would probably suck.

Don't worry I won't take offense to it. I myself am an atheist and bisexual. Like I said I'm just looking for more information. Because how people are raised seems to be a high motive for their belief systems. However at the same time you have so many different people who are very different from what they were originally taught about the world around them.

The only other question I have left though is this... where is your stance on how you would raise your children? What do you think religion plays in a household?

[SpaceWhale]

At 4/17/12 10:56 PM, The-Great-One wrote: The only other question I have left though is this... where is your stance on how you would raise your children? What do you think religion plays in a household?

I would try to raise them with an open mind and to accept whatever they feel is right, but I don't feel like I'd be able to advocate or encourage any sort of religion in them. Of course, if they did convert to a religion, I'd support them all the way.

[Entice]

My parents are both atheists and never talked to me about religion. My mom encouraged the idea of morals and heaven somewhat but that's about it. For some reason I believed in God as a kid, perhaps because my relatives were religious.

I stopped believing in God when I stopped believing in Santa Claus and all of that kid stuff, and never looked back.

[gamejunkie]

At 4/17/12 11:16 PM, VictorKorg wrote: Lots of cool stuff.

Believe it or not, it's all up to you.

This is why I like you so freaking much. I hope everything is working out how you had planned.

[TNT]

I'm not sure where I can begin, but I will try to give you a spark note of my family and my life.

I was raised by divorce parents who are loosely christian and leaning conservative. Part of my moms side are catholic, and somewhat racist. My mom and dad were never racists, and my whole family on my dads side are very nice people. Despite their values, politically or religiously, they are open to the idea of gay marriage, pro choice (though morally against it), and legalizing all drugs. However, they still have a strong conservative view point on foreign policy.

My brother over the years started having socialist views and I think he's probably agnostic, but I'm not sure.

As for me, I still like to think there is a God. Its kinda a weird belief, but I'm an evolutionist with the idea that there is something superior watching over us. And I think Jesus was really a caring person unlike how some Christians have became quite hostile in the past decade or so. It seems like they are ignoring his message, and it troubles me a ton (especially when some of their viewpoints goes radical after 9/11). I've became more of a rogue in the family when it comes to politics (I went libertarian), because their idea of personal liberty is backfiring on them. Also, I have a interventionist viewpoint on foreign policy unless we are attacked and congress has to declare war. I absolutely hate the War Powers Act of 1973 because it basically ignores checks and balances.

Well that's that I suppose.

[TNT]

Also, I have a interventionist viewpoint on foreign policy unless we are attacked and congress has to declare war. I absolutely hate the....

Nasty type there. I am a NONinterventionist.

[The-Great-One]

At 4/17/12 11:44 PM, TNT wrote: As for me, I still like to think there is a God. Its kinda a weird belief, but I'm an evolutionist with the idea that there is something superior watching over us.

Alright so you do believe in evolution as well as a God watching over us. So where would your stance be on the bible then what did your parents teach you about the bible? How religious was your family exactly and when did you start looking for more information? Also would you consider yourself agnostic then?