Starting a Project!

[Udoch]

I'm going to start a project from a post I made a while back It was just something I wrote down out of boredom, for reasons I don't know why, I titled it "The Lament of Lugalzagesi" it rambled on like this:

"Woe to Uruk, my once mighty home. We lived, laughed, prayed, and fought! I was fighting, we were fighting to
defend our beloved Uruk but there were too many, We all perished. I watched in horror as the ziggurat of
Inanna was sacked! I watched as innocent women were raped! I cried in absolute horror as I saw my only son
who was only an infant, cast over the walls of the city! His mother defended him to her last! As I saw his
body hit the ground I screamed as a father would as his only son died before his very eyes! I was once a king
of Uruk home to the mighty gilgamesh, to see Uruk burn was to see gilgamesh himself burn. My name was
Lugalzagesi King of the once mighty Uruk. Uruk is gone, all at the command of one man, Sargon of Agade!
the first emperor in mesopotamia is gone so is his putrid empire, I thank the gods for his death but they feed
me clay and dirt. Our culture never looked forward to death, yet the cultures of your modern world look forward
to a dark and desolate place where there is no salvation, no hope. I have yet to see any new faces here I
guess the gods have yielded to the new ones. I have watched the rise and fall of Babylon with her splendid
gardens and her mighty ziggurat to Marduk. I saw alexander, I saw Rome! Then the violent bloodsoaked banner of
Islam! Not much changed until these Men on horseback fought this Islam. They went as quick as the came I have
seen much change in the land. I pray that people see the devastation they send each other It's only a matter
of time before creation destroys itself."

There was one comment that got the ball rolling, who ever asked if it was an audition for a play I thank you because I'm going to use this in a story now. This snippet will be edited to where it won't be so long and confusing.

I'll post more as this project develops. At this point I am open to suggestions.

[paradigmvulpes]

i just have to put this out here, i have no interest in writing in this story, i don't know if you had any interest in trying to run a writing collab, but i have tried it and it sucks when people arnt clear.

now then, one of the best pieces of advice i have ever gotten about writing i'm going to pass on to you. you know that huge brick of words you just beat me to death with, separate it into smaller paragraphs. it makes it easier to read, especially when you use long made up words....gilgamesh....isnt that from south park or something anyways.

i'm not really sure how else to help you, i mean, its hard to take in work when your teeth are being ground to teeth by a brick.

[Sharu]

At 4 hours ago, paradigmvulpes wrote: i just have to put this out here, i have no interest in writing in this story, i don't know if you had any interest in trying to run a writing collab, but i have tried it and it sucks when people arnt clear.

now then, one of the best pieces of advice i have ever gotten about writing i'm going to pass on to you. you know that huge brick of words you just beat me to death with, separate it into smaller paragraphs. it makes it easier to read, especially when you use long made up words....gilgamesh....isnt that from south park or something anyways.

I would second what Paradigmvulpes said about formatting, but, I'm sorry Paradigmvulpes, I have to say I'm disappointed that you'd immediately assume that any word you seem not to know is made up. Gilgamesh is arguably the oldest epic, or even piece of literary work, known to mankind. Seriously, look things up that you don't know.

Now, in regards to the actual post- Udoch, if you're asking for people to help you write this, I'd suggest posting it on the collab forum(or at least state it outright). If you're looking for feedback and suggestions, ask for them in your post so that people know what you want.

[EKublai]

At 10 hours ago, paradigmvulpes wrote:

i'm not really sure how else to help you, i mean, its hard to take in work when your teeth are being ground to teeth by a brick.

For some reason, "teeth are being ground to teeth by a brick" seems very wise, even though I assume you miswrote it.