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Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant

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NeutralObjections
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Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:12 PM Reply

So I was on the front page and I decided to check out "Suddenly a Bear" again, because I thought it a little entertaining. When suddenly, while It's loading I see this in a review:

"If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to far away lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication.
In the land of Skyrim, the player starts off as a captured terrorist, who has been caught plotting to destroy the golden empire by using dragons. Before the player gets to take control of his avatar, they are asked to create a character, which is purely the liberalâEUTMs way of teaching out kids that modifying and gender changing oneâEUTMs self is fun and normal. Once the player has decided if they want to be a female wood fairy or an black ogre from Stormwind, they get to take control of their hell spawned fictitious demon.
Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard, shows the player images of decapitations and after the third of forth head chopping, a necromatic dragon appears and sets the player free from righteous punishment. Now that the player is free, they will spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magic.
Throughout the game, the player is exposed to full frontal violence and replay style death killing finish moves. The graphics of this game are way too realistic for the type of blood shed they ejaculate all over the playerâEUTMs CPU monitor.
The spells the player are taught are directly out of The Book of Wiccan and are far more dangerous than anything your child is watching on that Wizards at Waverly Place and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations. This is subliminally teaching your children that they need to go in their rooms, demon whack their sin staff and produce sin milk into their hands and than fling it in the face of the first person they come in contact with after their taint tugging session.
Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs. Once the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.
SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN âEU" Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D âEU" Dirty
O âEU" Orifice
V âEU" Violation
A âEU" Always
H âEU" Hurts
K âEU" Keep
I âEU" Injecting
I âEU" It
N âEU" Naiant
How Would My Child Get Access to Skyrim?
If your child doesnâEUTMt have the money to buy this game, be sure they are spending countless hours watching their bitttorrents download massive amounts of band widths to illegal obtain this demonic grail of violent dragon porn. Be sure to inspect all of their friendâEUTMs houses. Anyone of the evil axis of consoles; PlayStation 1,2 or 3, Gamecube or XBox 360 Live Kentic, could be lurking in one of their households.
If you do learn that one of your childrenâEUTMs friends doesnâEUTMt have proper parents and allows them to play on such vile machines, make sure your child knows that by playing with this friend will go against God and would send his soul to the fire pits of Hell.
What Gay Thing is This Gaming Teaching Kids
Skyrim Jobs âEU" Skyrimming is a street term the gays use when talking about applying their tongues to the outer rim part of another manâEUTMs sewer spout, while that man is being hung upside down. See the gays have weird fetishes and are close to Satan. Satan speaks to them and tells them news ways on how to experience demonic orgasmic sin."

Obviously, this is some sort of trolling copypasta, but I found it fucking HILARIOUS.

Is this like, really old? And has anyone else seen this in various places where Skyrim stuff can be found? It's the first for me.

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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:18 PM Reply

Christwire is a parody site, yes. You can't actually sign up there, it's really awesome.

NeutralObjections
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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:18 PM Reply

At A few seconds ago, Protagonist wrote: Here yo go.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-childr en-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuve rs/

You're welcome.

Oh wow, thanks.

Heretic-Anchorite
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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:23 PM Reply

At 3 minutes ago, Protagonist wrote: Here yo go.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-childr en-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuve rs/

You're welcome.

Dragon Fisting âEU" Dragon fisting is a new way the gays enter each otherâEUTMs mud goblets with both of their hands. The difference with dragon fisting, is they make sure to grow their nails very long and once inserted into their low t-cell counted friend, they make a tickling movement with their fingers and sends their mud monkey buddy into a demon infused enticement of gay rage.

What the fuck?


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NeutralObjections
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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:27 PM Reply

At 23 seconds ago, Heretic-Anchorite wrote:
At 3 minutes ago, Protagonist wrote: Here yo go.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-childr en-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuve rs/

You're welcome.
Dragon Fisting âEU" Dragon fisting is a new way the gays enter each otherâEUTMs mud goblets with both of their hands. The difference with dragon fisting, is they make sure to grow their nails very long and once inserted into their low t-cell counted friend, they make a tickling movement with their fingers and sends their mud monkey buddy into a demon infused enticement of gay rage.

What the fuck?

Well, after 5 minutes of research, I found that Christwire, the website that made this, are massive trolls that produce the most ridiculously, right-winged, illogical, Christian articles on the web on purpose in order to get a reaction out of people who read them.

It's a parody site. They don't mean the things they say. If you read some of their other articles they get even more ridiculous. It's quite funny if you have the time, I've read.

tox
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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:31 PM Reply

At 12 minutes ago, Protagonist wrote: Here yo go.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-childr en-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuve rs/

You're welcome.

with a pile of shit that big.. its hard to take this seriously anymore


call me toxie 0.~
reached vet status by RacistBassist , fuckyeah.jpg

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Ryanson
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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:33 PM Reply

I knew it. Skyrim was gay.

And everyone who plays it is now gay. And not the good kind of gay -- THE BAD KIND.


Life is a performance, and the world is full of critics. Give it your all like it's your last show.
You don't even want to know

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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:34 PM Reply

At 53 seconds ago, tox wrote:
At 12 minutes ago, Protagonist wrote: Here yo go.

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-skyrim-teaching-your-childr en-how-to-perform-rim-jobs-and-other-homo-erotic-sex-maneuve rs/

You're welcome.
with a pile of shit that big.. its hard to take this seriously anymore

Please read the posts after the one you quoted. It was stated to be a parody site.

response mood unrelated
Heretic-Anchorite
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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:34 PM Reply

At 4 minutes ago, NeutralObjections wrote:
Well, after 5 minutes of research, I found that Christwire, the website that made this, are massive trolls that produce the most ridiculously, right-winged, illogical, Christian articles on the web on purpose in order to get a reaction out of people who read them.

It's a parody site. They don't mean the things they say. If you read some of their other articles they get even more ridiculous. It's quite funny if you have the time, I've read.

I know it's a parody site. I just found that particular bit funny. This is proven by the emotion I used on the previous post.


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NeutralObjections
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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 03:59 PM Reply

At 16 minutes ago, Heretic-Anchorite wrote: I know it's a parody site. I just found that particular bit funny. This is proven by the emotion I used on the previous post.

Oops, sorry. I just read "What the fuck?" and missed the emoticon up top. :3

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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 04:01 PM Reply

That was an intresting read.

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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 04:22 PM Reply

At 18 minutes ago, Braiton wrote: That was an intresting read.

Yeah I personally enjoyed the Ão/ooÃEUêçïû¸¸¸â^¨¨%

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Response to Skyrim Homosexual Demon Rant Feb. 18th, 2012 @ 04:35 PM Reply

Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard
Blizzard

Oh it's a good thing this was a parody, because I almost raged at that.


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