JOHNNY BRAVO: CARTOON THEORY.
by Non-Sense Co. on Monday, December 3, 2012
JOHNNY BRAVO: CARTOON THEORY.
NOTE TO READER: THIS IS JUST A BULLS**T THEORY AND IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. PLEASE ENJOY (HOPE THIS DOSNT DISTROY ANY CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.)
Theory One: Brain Dead Johnny
Johnny was always the self-loving womanizer you see before you. He's old college roomy and still good friend Carl, can recall the many nights he had to spend in the dormitory hallway, while waiting for Johnny to wrap up yet another sexual encounter. Even Pop can count the times Johnny would leave his position as the head cook, in order to have a quickie by the dumpster behind Pops Diner. Unfortunately his love for hot women and fast sex would prove ill faded. One day, after finally being fired from pops diner, Johnny found himself in need of some quick cash. While looking through the newspaper Johnny found, and answered an ad to become a test subjects for an experimental hair gel. This is when everything changed for the worse. The experimental hair gel caused irreversible brain damage; which has completely destroyed his short term and most of his long term memory. Despite being offered a settlement Johnny; being satisfied with the product, simply asked for an unlimited supply of hair gel (which permanently turned his hair Blond and caused severe sunlight sensitivity of the eyes.) While he's still remembers the people that matter the most to him (his Mamma, Pops, Carl ) he's unable to remember the many "one night stands" and casual sex partners he's had throughout his lifetime. All of which involve the many women of "Aron CityâEU. ThatâEUTMs right, Johnny's brain is so damaged he doesn't remember that he's already had sex with (and dumped) all the women he's flirting with. Think about it. These women are disgusted with Johnny, the same way a scornful ex-girlfriend or former lover would be. They want this womanizing self-centered pig to feel the pain and regret they felt after getting involved with him. Unfortunately with each passing day Johnny's mental condition worsens; and while many women know him as a conceded jerk, the sad truth is...Johnny "love 'em and leave 'em" Bravo, will never truly know; or understand, why all the women he encounters treat him with such disgust and Hate. Johnny: Hey there baby (Gets punched in the face.) Whatever...
Theory Two: ItâEUTMs all in the Shades.
This theory comes from the episode "My Fair Dork", were Johnny attempts to train a young boy in the ways of "his cool"; in order to impress Susie. After all his attempts fail he finally realizes we're he went wrong. The glasses... He takes out an extra pair of shades out of his pocket, place it on the boys eyes and just like that instant âEUoebabe visionâEU. And how did Johnny came across these strange glasses you say? Simple, he and Carl created them back in their college days. Before Johnny was a self-indulgent womanizing sex fiend, he was a very intelligent software developer and engineer. With Carl's help he developed state of the art glasses that changes the way the world looks around you, and into that of their own choosing. Think 1988s "They Live" except instead of aliens, he sees hot women. It also changes his perspective on how he sees himself. Whenever he looks in a mirror he sees what he considers to be his ideal self. In his mind he sees perfection when in reality he's just as scrawny and nerdy as Carl. With that in mind there are several reasons behind why Johnny keeps getting rejected and ultimately beaten up by every girl he meets. One of which is that Johnny has been flirting with men, and because of the effect of the glasses he sees them as women. All the episodes were he's being pummeled by a super strong female is actually Johnny being beaten up by a man. Sometimes there older women, other times teenagers and so on. With every rejection he simply changes their image, reshapes their body and alters their face into the woman of his choosing. In reality Johnny has been flirting with the same people over and over again. There is only woman that Johnny does not see as an object of sexual desire. Someone who's actually had a crush on him for years. In trying not to ruin their friendship Johnny chooses to see her as he did when they were children. In his eyes she'll never be more than that annoying little girl he grew up with. His next door neighborâEU¦ little Susie.
Thanks For reading.