Possible monologue?

[Udoch]

Woe to Uruk, my once mighty home. We lived, laughed, prayed, and fought! I was fighting, we were fighting to defend our beloved Uruk but there were too many, We all perished. I watched in horror as the ziggurat of Inanna was sacked! I watched as innocent women were raped! I cried in absolute horror as I saw my only son who was only an infant, cast over the walls of the city! His mother defended him to her last! As I saw his body hit the ground I screamed as a father would as his only son died before his very eyes! I was once a king of Uruk home to the mighty gilgamesh, to see Uruk burn was to see gilgamesh himself burn. My name was Lugalzagesi King of the once mighty Uruk. Uruk is gone, all at the command of one man, Sargon of Agade! the first emperor in mesopotamia is gone so is his putrid empire, I thank the gods for his death but they feed me clay and dirt. Our culture never looked forward to death, yet the cultures of your modern world look forward to a dark and desolate place where there is no salvation, no hope. I have yet to see any new faces here I guess the gods have yielded to the new ones. I have watched the rise and fall of Babylon with her splendid gardens and her mighty ziggurat to this Marduk. I saw Alexander, I saw Rome! Then the violent bloodsoaked banner of Islam! Not much changed until these Men on horseback fought this Islam. They went as quick as the came I have seen much change in the land. I pray that people see the devastation they send each other It's only a matter of time before creation destroys itself.

[Coop]

I think that you need to work on the form of the piece - it doesn't have to be just a wall of text. Paragraphs and sentence structure could provide so much more, as could stepping away from just name dropping about Uruk every sentence or so.

It has potential, though I'm not sure how you wish to communicate this - clearly the king is dead and this is his disembodied spirit mourning the loss of Babylon to Muslims. References to Alexander seemed out of place, as did the Roman one. Try either building on them, or cutting them out altogether.

[Udoch]

will do.

[EKublai]

Just to be clear, is this a monologue meant for an acting audition?

[Udoch]

I have no Idea just something I wrote down ot of pure boredom in English class.