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Help finishing my song

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idiot-buster
idiot-buster
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Help finishing my song 2012-02-11 23:40:06 Reply

I've been writing lyrics for a good time, but never seemed to get stuck finishing a song before. Now i need to by the 14th. The only thing missing is the chorus. HereâEUTMs what i have:

YouâEUTMre the sweetest flower i've ever seen
(here on earth)
The greatest person whom i've ever known
The most desirable treasure a real gold
you are the color of my soul

This love a work of art
I'm not even sure where to start
(here on earth)
The sweetest should i've ever meet
The warmest person that i've gotten to know
you are the color to my soul

YouâEUTMre the deepest rose i've ever sought
(here on earth)
The most vivid purple, that i've come to hold
The brightest fire thats starts my storm
You are the color of my soul


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idiot-buster
idiot-buster
  • Member since: Sep. 18, 2006
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Response to Help finishing my song 2012-02-11 23:42:41 Reply

Sorry !

You're the sweetest flower i've ever seen
(here on earth)
The greatest person whom i've ever known
The most desirable treasure a real gold
you are the color of my soul

This love a work of art
I'm not even sure where to start
(here on earth)
The sweetest should i've ever meet
The warmest person that i've gotten to know
you are the color to my soul

You're the deepest rose i've ever sought
(here on earth)
The most vivid purple, that i've come to hold
The brightest fire thats starts my storm
You are the color of my soul


Wi/Ht regular|Elite Guard Barracks Member|Idiot-Buster-Elite Guard Sup. Commander

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DeftAndEvil
DeftAndEvil
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Response to Help finishing my song 2012-02-12 00:26:17 Reply

It's too mawkish and arcane yet awfully hackneyed. It doesn't make sense nor have any depth. Why is she so great? Is she really perfect? ("Imperfections" are what make girls unique, special, and lovely, in my opinion. If you could focus on something some would consider an "undesirable" quality and explain why you dig it, it will make her feel as if you actually care and you're not just saying stuff.)

Or you could keep it as it is if you think it's special.


Despite the name, I'm actually good--Deft, and good!

Giving out reviews to anyone who wants them (exception: poems. I'll find you).

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