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First of all, this is a long read so I don't blame you if you skip to the TL;DR section.
Guys, I failed miserably on my date. I had been trying to get this woman to date me right? I sent her flowers, wrote her letters, all that crap. So finally she decided to go out with me to see a movie and have dinner. So we went to see haywire, and then we went to a fancy chinese restaurant.
The waiter guided us to our table and I pulled the chair out for her and she sat down. Then I took my seat and ordered our
meals. She ordered general tso's chicken and I ordered the sizzling seafood worbar with extra peppers. We waited and talked about mundane stuff such as the weather and politics, and what we thought of the movie.
Then our orders came. The waiter brought out my sizzling plate and her chicken. Since I ordered extra peppers on mine,
the fumes from the hot plate were making everybody in the restaurant cough and sneeze, which actually was kind of funny.
We ate our food and I decided to try one of the extra hot peppers. I put it in my mouth and my tongue immediately felt like it was being assaulted by fire, so I immediately spat it out.
Now remember how my dish was making everybody cough and sneeze?
Well, when I spat out the pepper, the next thing I know, my date started to scream, and she had the pepper lodged in her nose. It just so happened that she sneezed at just the
right time that the pepper I spat out went near her face and got caught in her right nostril as she sneezed downward
Well, it didn't end there. She was screaming at me and crying as the pepper burnt her nose. She tried to get it out
with her finger, only to shove it further up her nostrils and into her sinuses. Then she tried to blow it out, but that didn't work either.
Then the waiters came over to see what was the matter. I talked really quickly and tried to explain that there was a pepper in her nose, but I don't think they understood what I meant. He thought I was talking about the pepper burning her mouth because he said
"food spicy yeah? let me get you more water!"
and before I could do anything the waiter hurried off to the kitchen.
Well, my date was obviously in too much agony to wait so I did the first thing I could think of. I grabbed a chopstick and
asked her to stay still and let me fish the pepper out of her nose with the chopstick.
So she agreed to let me try to fish it out with the chopstick. I carefully maneuvered it up her nose until the tip up the
chopstick was past the pepper. Then I tried to angle the chopstick so that it would pull on the pepper when pulled the
But then she sneezed and the chopstick impaled her her sinus cavity. Next thing I know, she is on the ground
screaming and bleeding.
Somebody called 911 and an ambulance took her to the hospital, where she is at right now getting the chopstick surgically
removed from her right nostril.
I obviously feel terrible about this and I don't know how to apologize to her when she gets out. Does anybody have any advise?
TL;DR - Through a series of unfortunate events, I managed to get a choptick stuck in my date's nose after she inhaled a pepper that I spat out of my mouth. She is at the hospital to get the chopstick surgically removed from her nose.
You should make her famous and then let her sleep with every man while you watch in a corner.
I HДVЗИ'T ЭДTЗЙ SLICЭD ЬЯЗДD SIИCЭ I ШДS TЩЗLVЭ
I suggest you wait just a couple of days, if you didn't knew her too well. If she was someone you knew you could try to talk to her while she's still at the hospital.
But then, just apologize. Call her, apologize and ask if you can do anything to be forgiven. If she says yes, then you could still try to see her again. If she says no, then do not insist. Final decision is to her anyway :O
i read the tldr, and i laughed so hard it made me want to read the story,
id give it a 7/10
call me toxie 0.~
reached vet status by RacistBassist , fuckyeah.jpg
I saw "surgical" from skimming the post, and knew right away you dun fucked up.
Then I read the post. There is no amount of redemption that can be done. If she forgives you (if she does, she deserves woman of the century for forgiveness), her parents won't, because surgery costs a lot of money.
No, no amount of words can amount an apology required to fix this.
My Suggestion: Move. Far away. Before her parents hunt you down and kill you.
"A BLIND, DEAF, COMATOSE, LOBOTOMY PATIENT COULD FEEL, MY ANGER "
*read the TLDR*
*read the whole post*
I would just say sorry. you didn't intend for any of that to happen. If she is a bitch about it, and can't see this was an accident, then leave her.
Yea, that tl;dr pretty much forces you to read the whole thing. Buy her shit. Say sorry. Sex.
At 2/5/12 01:42 PM, Manly-Chicken wrote: Seppuku.
It is the proper gentlemanly way to apologize for bad Chinese food.
I spat my juice all over my computer when I read the Tl;DR. Thank you very much.
"You can't be careful on a skateboard man." - some kid
At 2/5/12 03:00 PM, SpamOfCan wrote: And you came to NEWGROUNDS for help?
Holy shit, you're desperate.
I am indeed. I also posted this on bungie.net, 4chan, and eharmony in hopes that somebody could give me some good advice.
Would be kind of funny if the story were true.
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
Than teach 10,000 stars how not to dance.
-- ee cummings
chop sticks? what a beta faggot no wonder she will not talk to you.
next time be alpha by shoving ur dick in her nostril. who knows, she might later let u shove it elsewhere
At 2/5/12 01:42 PM, Manly-Chicken wrote: Seppuku.
Anything else is to embarressing and awkward to even fucking try.
my friend, i don't know what to say. how very unfortunate; i wish the best for her recovery.
while there is certainly no sure way to apologize for something of this caliber, the best option is to simply talk with her. comfort her, check on her at the hospital. after recovery and some time, if she is willing to go on another date with you, make up for the bad date with two good dates.
again, best wishes for her recovery.
THIS WORLD IS MADE OF LOVE AND PEACE!
She sneezed and inhaled? A sneeze is an expulsion of air...
Anyway, there's not much more you can do than just apologize.
All you have to do is look at his profile to know this is all fake
Age/Gender: n/a, Male
Job: trolling, writer.
I enjoy writing distasteful humorous stories and posting them in unsuspecting threads. I am the founder of The Warped Writers fangroup on bungie.net I am Mister Art on bungie.net