Whatever

[Lintire]

OH NO, It looks like you've got amnesia and have absolutely no idea who you are, and will need an unseen force to decide your name, gender and appearence!

[Lintire]

Nah, that's a stupid way to start things.

You are most definitely MALE, and are wearing a RUINED WEDDING TUXEDO from a failed assassination that you had an integral part in. You were going to call your employer about the job, but considering he just tried to have you killed with one of his damn henchmen, you don't think that's going to be a problem.

He'll probably fayde any moment now. Which is good, because you can't get your damn SHORTSWORD out of his back. At least he had this cool hat.

Your VIVIDITY is at around 75%, it should recharge after a few moments.

[Lintire]

Also the city is on fire and lots of people are screaming and dying. But that's not your problem.

It's about time you go by a new PSEUDONYM. your current one belongs to someone who should be dead.

What is your NAME?

Well folks, here we are, right on the tails of a failed attempt at just this! I'll wait for a few suggestions, or really just one really cool one before moving on.

[lovingthedark]

JIM BOB THE THIRD.

[Aigis]

>Victor Wick.

[Felis]

> Decide to take on the alias "Montgomery Roseway"

[Lintire]

At 1/17/12 04:48 AM, Felis wrote: > Decide to take on the alias "Montgomery Roseway"

You are not a street of any kind!

[Lintire]

At 1/17/12 04:46 AM, Aigis wrote: >Victor Wick.

You're pretty sure that's a dick joke, but Victor Wick it is! Scumbag and Misc. Skills extraordinaire! Also you decide to speak with GUSTO! Today's a new day!

Retrieving your (now freed) shortsword you review your choices. You can:

- Seek revenge on your employer
- Seek out your failed target and finish the job
- Investigate the fires
- Bum around, be an idiot and buy a drink with your lingering cash

And anything else you happen to think of. Whatever. Well, you're stuck for choices. What do you do?

[lovingthedark]

Booze.

[Aigis]

>Drink the drink you already have. You're clearly sitting right next to one. Feel the burn of that fire of fires.

[Spags]

At 1/17/12 05:33 AM, Aigis wrote: >Drink the drink you already have. You're clearly sitting right next to one.

You're also sitting next to a lighter.

> Pour the liquor out in the shape of your favorite cereal mascot and light it on fire.

[Felis]

> Take off pants and sever penis

...Nah.

>Buy drink. Nobody said you had to drink it, and your inventory is rather limited as of now.

[J-qb]

>Don't be a wuss and take off your gassmask, noone else is wearing one. And besides; it's a pain to draw.

[test-object]

>Crouch down and search the grass for your nose. Don't step on it! It must be around here somewhere.

[Lintire]

At 1/17/12 05:32 AM, lovingthedark wrote: Booze.

At 1/17/12 05:33 AM, Aigis wrote: >Drink the drink you already have. You're clearly sitting right next to one. Feel the burn of that fire of fires.

At 1/17/12 05:51 AM, Spaghetti14 wrote: > Pour the liquor out in the shape of your favorite cereal mascot and light it on fire.

At 1/17/12 05:58 AM, Felis wrote: >Buy drink. Nobody said you had to drink it, and your inventory is rather limited as of now.

A quest for BOOZE it is!

You strike a pose with the EMPTY CAN OF NON-ALCOHOLIC CIDER, because that's just how you roll. It adopts your NEON AMBIANCE like a good little piece of miscellaneous trash.

The CELLPHONE stays put.

[Lintire]

Due to the IMMATERIAL nature of the universe, the ambiance of the fire gives off no heat. Everything is interacted with by LIGHT or PRESSURE.

So you're cool, suckers.

Unfortunately you weren't sitting on the cliff face by choice. Perfect place to stage a facsimile of a wedding. All the dead wedding guests (along with the henchman) have fayded, and the rest have fled.

Yep, along with the targets. And considering that the only way down this damn cliff is guarded by their cronies, your only chance is to wait for them to come to you.

And here they are now!

You've got a couple of seconds before they try to beat you to death with their NIGHTSTICKS. Anything else you want to do?

[lovingthedark]

Get laid.

[Aigis]

>Use your hat as a deadly projectile.

[lovingthedark]

Run like hell.

[Felis]

> Get yourself before they can get you. Disembowel yourself so your vividity goes down really low and they can't see you so well.

[Lintire]

At 1/17/12 06:36 AM, test-object wrote: >Crouch down and search the grass for your nose. Don't step on it! It must be around here somewhere.

What kind of an idiot doesn't have a nose? You've got one, it's just right under this gasmask...

At 1/17/12 06:27 AM, J-qb wrote: >Don't be a wuss and take off your gassmask, noone else is wearing one. And besides; it's a pain to draw.

Speak of the devil. Actually, facemasks are quite the fashion statement around here. Plus it serves as a useful way to hide your identity (and nose).

But screw it, this day Victor Wick goes unmasked!

[Lintire]

At 1/17/12 06:54 AM, lovingthedark wrote: Run like hell.

God you wish. Having to fight your way through a small army of cannon fodder just to grab a drink? This is going to SUCK.

At 1/17/12 06:51 AM, lovingthedark wrote: Get laid.

God you WISH. It's been so long since... actually now is not the time to moan about that.

You briefly take on a slightly more detailed form which the artist can work from in future. Consider it your close up.

[Lintire]

At 1/17/12 06:53 AM, Aigis wrote: >Use your hat as a deadly projectile.

Only the mythical HAT-TRICK NINJAS of the SPECTRUM MOUNTAINS can use hat-based weapon attacks!

Because... using a hat to fight is a really stupid idea.

At 1/17/12 07:00 AM, Felis wrote: > Get yourself before they can get you. Disembowel yourself so your vividity goes down really low and they can't see you so well.

A good idea in theory, but you're pretty sure you're not going to recover from a disemboweling and you'd really only flicker a lot and annoy everyone.

Besides they're here anyway. God, a couple of punk kid bouncers.

Nows as good a time to reveal the combat system as any.

Attacks are based on reflexes, strength, speed, weapon power (if any) and a myriad of other attributes. Whether or not an attack is avoided, parried or survived is based on speed, agility (or in the case of getting hit) endurance.

All these attributes are naturally assigned to body types and whatnot and can be manually increased with lots of effort. Yeah I know, combat is pretty damn confusing!

Now, how are you going to teach these sorry excuses for Bouncers a lesson?

[LegolaSS]

At 1/17/12 08:10 AM, Lintire wrote: combat time!

Right, that's my cue *grabs controller*

> *goes in with a vertical feint, then retract and swing backwards for a upwards cut*
> *side step left and do a horizontal sweep*
> *go to do another vertical strike and kick last surviving punk and go for the fatal head cleaving blow*
> *strike a heroic pose as the head rolls towards you and place a foot on top to stop it...*

damn I'm good

[TurkeyOnAStick]

> Square up like a professional sword-fighter.
> Hack phlegm in the face of the guy on the right.
> Kick crotch of one on the left.
> Dispatch accordingly.

[bigjonny13]

> Pretend to pass out
> When bouncers come closer to investigate slit the throat of the first one and then stab the second one in the chest

[Lintire]

At 1/17/12 08:34 AM, LegolaSS wrote: > *goes in with a vertical feint, then retract and swing backwards for a upwards cut*
> *side step left and do a horizontal sweep*
> *go to do another vertical strike and kick last surviving punk and go for the fatal head cleaving blow*
> *strike a heroic pose as the head rolls towards you and place a foot on top to stop it...*

At 1/17/12 08:48 AM, TurkeyOnAStick wrote: > Square up like a professional sword-fighter.
> Hack phlegm in the face of the guy on the right.
> Kick crotch of one on the left.
> Dispatch accordingly.

You decide to do an amalgamation of these and kick some ass!

First up is letting these punks know exactly who they are FUCKING WITH.

[Lintire]

Nightsticks? Pathetic. You've had more trouble from nuns with breadsticks.

Step two is letting them know exactly what you FUCKING THINK OF THEM.

[Lintire]

Motherfuckers going to fayde his ass out any moment know.

Step three is mopping up this last FUCK.

[Lintire]

You know there's a reason you called yourself VICTOR.

What now?