Nobody Gives A Fuck About Monday...

[Anture]

I have a collection of scripts that I feel should be brought to everyone's attention. Here is an excerpt for the first one:

TEACHER: Alright, class, I have an important announcement to make.

MONDAY: {Angry} Only if that announcement begins with you shutting the fuck up.

{The teacher puts his face all sexually close to Monday's in a disgusting way that isn't erotic at all, not even slightly}

TEACHER: What did you just say, obedient student?! {Whispers in Monday's ear} I'll fucking stab you in the cunt with the metal end of my punishment ruler.

MONDAY: {Eyes wide} Uh, I said, I sure boy gosh golly hope that announcement begins our day with your loving voice.

TEACHER: Yeah, well, anyway, other than that being the gayest thing I heard today... {The more shit the teacher mutters, the farther away it gets as Midas hovers closer to Monday}

MIDAS: {Whispering} You should kill that oppressive servant of Zurvan, giving him a good old lesson of shut the fuck up that builds character, right in the face.

MONDAY: Yeah, but, I don't have a weapon. {Shot reveals there is a gun rack on the wall behind Monday, but then turns back to how the shot originally was}

MIDAS: That's okay, Monday, I brought with me here this Angel Phallus. {Pulls out a plank with a nail in it}

MONDAY: Gee goddamned thanks unto thee, Midas.

MIDAS: Happy birthday, you sick little bitch.

Anyone interested should contact me. Voice actors and animators alike. I have about six more scripts, all filled with the same sort of delicious, delicious humor.

[cakethecat]

I'm willing to voice Monday and plan on creating an audition soon.

[EKublai]

That's... pretty brilliant. I wish I had time to animate this.

[DeftAndEvil]

You're a regular Woody Allen. I ... was moved to tears.

[Anture]

Just in case you guys weren't sold on the first excerpt. Here is an excerpt from one of the later scripts:

MONDAY
We never even do anything, Midas. Every day is exactly the same.
MIDAS
Maybe we should go on a magical adventure, then.
MONDAY
(Hesitant)
What kind of adventure?
MIDAS
Ever hear of a place called womb-land?
Long pause.
MONDAY
...No...
MIDAS
I could take you there.
MONDAY
...Do I even want to go there? No.
It is apparent that Monday is becoming annoyed. Even more so after Midas slaps her across the face with her undeveloped hands that just kind of usually dangle there.
MIDAS
Come on, Monday, everyone wants to go to womb-land.
MONDAY
Well, how do we get there?
An even longer pause.
MIDAS
You fuckin' sick bitch, why the fuck would you want to go to womb-land?

Must anything else be said?

[Anture]

Bump. Come on, guys. Gotta be someone out there willing to work with me to unleash the next flash sensation all over newground's face.

[DeftAndEvil]

At 1/15/12 04:35 PM, Anture wrote: Bump. Come on, guys. Gotta be someone out there willing to work with me to unleash the next flash sensation all over newground's face.

There are better scripts out there that people don't read. If by some narrow chance an animator looking for a script strolled in, I doubt he'd choose your work. The least you could do if you are really serious is properly format the script. Also, the scripts are too short, senseless, and tasteless. An animator could easily come up with something as random and silly as this on his own.

Sorry, but that's the truth.

[Anture]

While I appreciate your feedback, they aren't full scripts, they are excerpts. I use a legitimate scripting software to format the later scripts, regardless that the first three are sloppy. However, I've seen worse get turned into actual animations on this site, so I am sure my first three can be excused. I am thankful, however, for your criticism.

Am I to post the full first script? Logic told me that it was better to just post excerpts instead of full scripts, as it'd give a taste with little to read, where anyone genuinely interested could have it emailed to them after contacting me.

Again, thanks for your feedback, even if it wasn't to my liking.

[DeftAndEvil]

At 1/15/12 04:43 PM, Anture wrote:
Am I to post the full first script? Logic told me that it was better to just post excerpts instead of full scripts, as it'd give a taste with little to read, where anyone genuinely interested could have it emailed to them after contacting me.

Well, you'd have to post the best parts. I realize that not all of NG's scripts are great or even good, but if you want to get picked up, you have to find a balance between comedy and quality. There's no substance to what you posted. At the very least, you could give character bios or a summary.

Also, you have to realize that the Writing Forum is a place for writers, not animators. Once in a while an animator comes in, usually looking for collaboration or to have someone write a specific script (I think it's called a "shooting script." For example, a guy came in looking for someone to write a script about Halo). Not very often do we get animators looking for original material.

Finally, the Writing Forum is the slowest of all the main forums, so you have to wait more than a couple of hours before you bump your thread.

[Anture]

You make a fair point. Perhaps I have been rushing it and have been behaving hastily. I, however, do not know how to properly make a character bio. If it would prove itself useful, though, I could write a few sentences describing the characters. I'm assuming that is all a bio is, but there are probably many who think they should be in some specific format, a format that I wouldn't know to use when making something so simple.

What would you recommend doing? As you can see, I am but a noob when it comes to the forums, and I know not my way around these parts.