Does this line make sense?

[Punisher33]

It's for the last episode before i start my sonic movie and i was wondering. it don't really make sense but i can't seem t revive it correctly. what do you guys think.

Yes sir, Lord merlin.

[SpaceWhale]

At 1/13/12 04:55 PM, Punisher33 wrote: before i start my sonic movie

THAT'S the part that doesn't make any sense to me.

[TheNewestUser]

Sure, it makes sense. That doesn't mean it's a gem of dialogue though.

[ZombieMonkey]

I think it woul dwork better if you remvoed "sir". It just sound really weird with it.

[saqwert]

None whatsoever. I've been sitting here are my computer for several hours trying to comprehend what I just read and no matter how I try to make sense of it, it just doesn't work out. It might as well be ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics translated into traditional Mandarin then flipped upside down and separated into 800 pieces and reassembled by autistic Nigerian kids with dyslexia.

[Punisher33]

At 1/13/12 04:59 PM, FreeksnGeeks wrote: What do you mean does it make sense? From where I'm reading it's english.

like should i make it sound better stuff like that. i'm trying to make my script sound coherent. just doing my checks. that's all.

[Luke]

It's completely fine, now get to work.

[Punisher33]

At 1/13/12 04:59 PM, ZombieMonkey wrote: I think it woul dwork better if you remvoed "sir". It just sound really weird with it.

This is what i was looking for. got ya. but what about the sentence in it's fullest. because the soldier is adressing his leader. how should it look?

[ashett]

At 1/13/12 04:55 PM, Punisher33 wrote: It's for the last episode before i start my sonic movie and i was wondering. it don't really make sense but i can't seem t revive it correctly. what do you guys think.

Yes sir, Lord merlin.

I can already tell this is bad.

[Punisher33]

At 1/13/12 05:13 PM, Ashett wrote:

At 1/13/12 04:55 PM, Punisher33 wrote: It's for the last episode before i start my sonic movie and i was wondering. it don't really make sense but i can't seem t revive it correctly. what do you guys think.

Yes sir, Lord merlin.

I can already tell this is bad.

i'm making sure everything is perfect in every way that's why i'm asking. i have my lines down pretty much well. but this line did not seem to make sense so. that's why i asked. just be constructive here instead of going on the attack okay. at least i'm asking now instead of putting my head up where the sun don't shine ya know.

[WeHaveFreshCookies]

At 1/13/12 04:55 PM, Punisher33 wrote: before i start my sonic movie

Stop. Just stop right where you are, before you do something I'll regret.

[ashett]

At 1/13/12 05:16 PM, Punisher33 wrote:

At 1/13/12 05:13 PM, Ashett wrote:

Yes sir, Lord merlin.

I can already tell this is bad.

i'm making sure everything is perfect in every way that's why i'm asking. i have my lines down pretty much well. but this line did not seem to make sense so. that's why i asked. just be constructive here instead of going on the attack okay. at least i'm asking now instead of putting my head up where the sun don't shine ya know.

I'm getting from this that this will be one of those videos that use randomness for humor, and total nonsense for the punchlines.

[ZombieMonkey]

At 1/13/12 05:12 PM, Punisher33 wrote:

At 1/13/12 04:59 PM, ZombieMonkey wrote: I think it woul dwork better if you remvoed "sir". It just sound really weird with it.

This is what i was looking for. got ya. but what about the sentence in it's fullest. because the soldier is adressing his leader. how should it look?

Well in my head he was just given an order by Lord Merlin. So if it is used that way it should work fine. If he is answering a question it might work better to elaborate on his answer a bit.

[Skaren]

At 1/13/12 04:55 PM, Punisher33 wrote: It's for the last episode before i start my sonic movie and i was wondering. it don't really make sense but i can't seem t revive it correctly. what do you guys think.

Yes sir, Lord merlin.

Yeah, that's good, although it should be "Yes sir, Lord Merlin" not "Yes sir, Lord merlin".

[Punisher33]

Yes lord merlin is another alternative iv'e been working on.